Newbie Question

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Dudek4, Jul 27, 2019.

  1. Dudek4

    Dudek4 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 43, married and a man who has achieved orgasm quickly for many years via porn and erotic fiction on a solo basis. My sex life with my wife has been poor for years but recently I'm cumming pretty much the instant I enter her.

    It feels like I need to reboot myself. My genitals get stimulated very quickly even when masturbating which means I have little to no control

    Add to this I'm increasingly getting stressed which is leading to erection issues even when masturbating alone.

    I know I'm not the first person to get into this state and that this situation can change. Any advice would be appreciated.
     
    220woof671 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. 220woof671

    220woof671 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to Nofap!! I think you are about to start a new streak of success (no porn or masturbation).

    1. You seem to have self-diagnosed yourself very good -- "... need to reboot myself."
    2. " … increasingly getting stressed." Yes, stress does suck.
    The truth is, you are allowing yourself to get stressed. I do not know what your 'stressors' are. If you are stressed due to financial matters, perhaps get rid of the new sports car[?, etc] for 6-12 mos, etc.) would give you more peace of mind. I've been in debt before -- it is difficult/stressful. Now, I have no debt; and enjoy being creative or resourceful [boiling things down to the actual need] when needs happen. Usually in 1-3 days I see new options.


    I think you need to develop a "List of Options" (things you can do when you get stressed.) Here's an article of "4 Tips To Change The Way You Deal With Stress" to start off your list.
    https://psychcentral.com/lib/4-tips-to-change-the-way-you-deal-with-stress/

    Here's 2 lists I've been working on for a few months. Pick and choose what you like … copy & paste ….. and start your "List of Options."

    Benefits of No PMO

    1. No social anxiety; 99% of time relaxed, calm, cool; easy to be sociable. If I do start to get nervous I think, "What do I have to be fearful about?" And I get calm in about 1-3 seconds.
    2. More attention from opposite gender -- without trying
    3. No brain fog; can concentrate easily. Can think clearer under pressure.
    4. Increased motivation & energy to get things done.
    5. More Stamina -- can hang in their longer at work (be tough) and complete projects; can work overtime, while others can't
    6. No fears; high levels of testosterone = strength and don't take bs. (No one has messed with me in 52 days +.)
    7. More time for good/productive things. Not wasting time going to phony porn sites; fapping to pixels; lusting, etc.
    8. The opposite gender increasingly becomes less and less of a priority.
    9. Improved Confidence -- (online comment) "porn and masturbation lowers your self-esteem and confidence"
    10. More Respectable -- (online comment) "if you resist the urge to masturbate -- a practice that is generally condemned -- you are likely to feel more respect for yourself; and others will respect you more." We all can generally tell if a man or woman is fapping ... nervous ... weak … fearful … has shame [trying to hide something] …
    11. Improved Creativity and Resourcefulness

    *Somedays are so-so … and some are difficult due to "flat line". But your daily progress is motivating and inspiring to you & others.

    Tips to Successfully handle Urges or Temporary Temptations


    #1 Secret = When tempted, Get Up and Go Outside/Move to another location [temptations usually only last 10-20 min] 2- Go on NoFap and make a post; or "like" some posts; or give advice 3- Listen to and Dance to your favorite music (fun and gets rid of excess energy) 4- Exercise, go to gym, go for a walk 5- Go to mall and talk with women (or men for females) 6- Go to store and buy yourself a reward/gift/treat (small daily; medium weekly; large monthly) 7- Work on your favorite hobby/passion/interest 8- Call, email or go visit a friend 9- Go walk a wonderful dog/cat/horse/llama around the block 10 - Have a "WHATEVER IT TAKES" attitude or mindset 11- Do a good deed for someone (extra points if they don't know who did it) 12- Take a break; take a nap (everyone needs an occasional break) 13- "All Things Are Possible" 14 - Positive personal hygiene (brushing teeth; showering) keeps your self-esteem high 15 - Fasting (water only) has many health benefits; a 1/2 day or more fast will help you have more self control 16 Taking it one day at a time, one urge at a time will make your goal manageable & successful." 17 - Use Distractions or Diversions [change the scenery] to help you have Victory over temporary temptations.

    You can do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019

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