Newbie trying to get a fresh start

Well got some issues with porn that have always been out of hand(insert joke here)... but lately, as the same as many times before I want to free myself from it and regain control over my life, To me, porn of all types is quite insidious and causes nothing but harm to me and to others.

Anyway now is the time to regain some freedom, though I don't quite know how I'm meant to achieve it, I'm impulsive in all things in life currently trying to give up tobacco as well as stop porn and hopefully stop shopping for crap.

I have bad feelings of shame too and gets in many ways in my life, recently been wanting to attend church but fearful I won't be accepted, for not only porn sake but also the drunken drugged up lout I used to be as a teenager... ah, fun times they were but not good in retrospect.

Anyway hello, Hopefully with your support as well as any higher power be they exist or imaginary I shall find my liberty.

 

ok, I shall pack away my laptop and keep away from devices late at night, I will also enable some content filters on my phone and broadband. which might help, unfortunately, I spend most of my time by myself. I could do sketching and watercolour drill and practice instead of using a pc. Normally I do digital graphics but was thinking of branching out anyway.

Is giving up tobacco, porn and impulsive shopping to much to take on at once do you think? I mean I know one can lead to the other and onwards but at the same time, I keep getting told not to take on too much at once?

anyway gotta pack away this pc ttfn.

 

Well sorry for the double post so far it's going ok feels slightly like I'm grieving a fair bit it would seem though, idk if that's normal, packed away the pc only using my laptop when in the front room with curtains opened. never used my phone for porn so that's not much of an issue(yet).

But yer so far onto around day 6, no porn, Aneros or orgasm. No tobacco for 4 days too but overeating due to the lack of tobacco... Guessing the temptations to pmo will only increase for a period from now onwards? So far its been not so bad, but quite frequently do 3-10 days without it but come to 2-4 weeks I get to breaking point.

Im hoping this time will be different, now i have some faith and what not... Just tired of how porn, schiz and anxiety make me feel. Time to find a different way to live but fear im to far down the rabbit hole.

Been distracting myself reading the good book. Just needs a little more faith

if this fails considering doing 12 step saa programme. step 2 seems apt for me right now: Accept that god/divine/universal consciousness can restore you to sanity... Don't wanna be too preachy but whatever your beliefs it seems like its a good motto. But different strokes for different folks, I dislike preachiness but its ongoing in my life right now hence why I'm sharing those beliefs.