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Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Chancey, Jan 24, 2016.

  1. Chancey

    Chancey Fapstronaut

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    Good Day,

    I am totally new to this site and hope for a positive experience here.For a number of reasons, I would like to quit watching porn but like any addiction its a constant struggle that I lose at times which is why I am here.Here's my story to help you guys understand my situation better and remedy it effectively.

    I started watching porn when I was around 13-14.I come from a deeply religious background so at that time I figured I would watch guys instead of girls cuz I thought it would be less sinful.Till date, I am not sure if I am attracted to guys or whether I just admire beauty,nor is that of any consequence as I intend of having a heterosexual marriage.

    I progressed from watching photos and images to videos of gay porn.I have never had a physical relationship and nor do I intend on having one until marriage,which would be 3-4 years from now.Around 4 years back I gave up masturbation but was not able to give up pornography as there were times when I felt that I couldn't control my urges.So basically, I would watch this material but not touch myself and there would be a few drops,I assume of pre-ejaculate as I never brought myself to an orgasm.Usually, when I would sleep the same night I would get a wet dream and get relieved that way.

    This viewing lasts for about 3-4 hours( which is alot I know!) at the end of which I just sleep.I have noticed that I tend to view such material especially when
    1:I feel overjoyed for some reason,
    2:when I am down and I feel that life has been unfair
    3: when I work out, specially my abdomen.

    I have a wierd attraction to abs and whenever I work them out I would feel sexier and that would lead me to viewing such material (maybe because I think that I am sexy just like the performers? not really sure how this works,tbh.)

    Please advise me as to what I should do to quit this viewing and I would be really grateful if I could have someone I could discuss my progress with and get guidance.

    Phew! Thanks for bearing with me!
     
    Mark W likes this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Chancey:

    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    This site is filled with advice and ideas in how to make a plan to leave porn behind. At the end of this comment I have a post of my own linked. Look around, and learn, and make your plan. Then stick to it.

    Also, if you get involved in threads here, and interact with others, that will help you become more committed to your own recovery. And if you want an "accountability partner," there is a thread where lots of guys are looking for partners, you can link up with someone there.

    Let me know if I can do anything else to help.
     
  3. Chancey

    Chancey Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the reply.It really does mean alot to me.I am unable to find the linked post you wrote about.
     
  4. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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  5. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure how watching gay porn was less sinful than heterosexual porn??
     
  6. Chancey

    Chancey Fapstronaut

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    Yea about that.You have to keep in mind that I was only 13 or so at that time and wasn't really mature enough to understand the gravity of the situation. The way I justified it to myself was that I am not looking at a woman's privates and objectifying them so it must be less sinful to watch a male.Pretty messed up,I know :(
     
  7. Chancey

    Chancey Fapstronaut

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    But hey, please don't judge my 13 yeard old self :p
     
  8. Chancey

    Chancey Fapstronaut

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