Newfound girlfriend wants sex

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by GoAway, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. GoAway

    GoAway Fapstronaut

    So, my girlfriend is very eager for us having sex soon. We haven't been together more than a couple of months and i'm scared of how she will react if i tell her about my addiction this early in our relationship. Luckily for me i don't have time to see her the next two weeks, so i just have to stay PMO clean that whole period of time. But my question is, when in my reboot will i be (approx) able to succesfully have sex with my girlfriend? I am a virgin and I have been addicted to PMO for the last five years or so and in the past months I have had a lot of small streaks ranging from 3 to 7 days.
  2. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

    Anyone who tells you they know exactly when you will be rebooted and ready to rock is lying. It depends on a lot of different variables, but -- I'm sorry to tell you -- generally speaking it takes quite a bit longer than you're giving yourself here. Frankly, coming off 5 years of chronic PMO with no history of real sex and only 2 days out from your last'd be better served by avoiding any kind of O for several weeks, and then trying to reboot.

    My two cents: If you really like her, tell her. If she really likes you, she'll respect you for telling her rather than lying to her. And if she runs away, then she really wasn't the right girl for you anyway.

    There are lots of ways for you to be together that don't involve an O for you.....
  3. No more nuts

    No more nuts Fapstronaut

    I say go for it with her and have sex because sex is normal and natural unlike PMO.
    Really we PMO because we want sex isn't it ?
    If we could just have sex with the women or men we masturbate over would we still be watching them through a screen while rubbing off ?
    You need to lose your virginity it will help you understand how unnatural PMO really is and also increase your desire for a real woman
    and not pixels, go for it with your girlfriend and let us know how your journey goes.
    Sex will actually make your reboot easier because If you can have it regularly enough you wont feel the need to PMO as much or even at all.(from experience).
    The only thing I came to realise though was that sex can give you massive urges for PMO afterwards so keep that in mind.(from experience).
    But i guess if you O from sex the urges will go.
    I don't know what girlfriend will let you abstain from sexual intercourse with her for 90+ days if that's your goal so don't ruin your chances with her.
    Sex is fine but I would say give it at least a week before you do it, but overall if you are not planning on going hardmode or rebooting to recover from ED or PIED sex is absolutely fine but like I said give it at least a week or so because sex made me feel drained when i had it too early on a previous streak, I was on day 3 .
    battleready likes this.
  4. battleready

    battleready Fapstronaut

    Totally agree with @No more nuts have sex is normal and you will see it's much better bang a sweet pussy than touch yourself you will feel like having an accomplishment!!! Make sure she is a reliable girl that you can share your addiction with, so tell her first like a joke just to see her reaction first and then you will figure out how to tell her for good about it!

    No more nuts likes this.
  5. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

    You might want to try slow gentle sex without orgasm. Orgasms can lead to relapse, via the rebound effect

    Plus, she will LOVE the way you behave having sex without orgasm. Instead of the Coolidge Effect, which tends to make males want to get away from women after they orgasm, you will stay and cuddle with her.

    It really works.
  6. SerpentEagleHeart

    SerpentEagleHeart Fapstronaut

    Everything @The Eleven says here is bang on the money I think.
  7. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    It may sound like a scary concept now, but this is very good advice. There must come a time where we must step up to the plate and take responsibility for our addictions. I'm not saying you have to tell her, and I agree that it's a very touchy subject, but I bet you would feel awesome if you told her the complete truth from the get go.

    Additionally, I don't think it's a good idea to be having sex this early on in your reboot. Try and get some time between you and PMO before attempting sex. Two weeks is a good start, but I usually recommend at least 90 days to people. Not that I'm an expert on sex lol. But I speak from the perspective of being a fellow PMO addict. It's your choice anyways Go well man.
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  8. PeetaMellark

    PeetaMellark Fapstronaut

    Don't PMO...
    Stay clean for her...
    And make love to her, and her alone!
    You're ready for this!
    It's completely natural...
    Good luck!

    PS Don't be surprised if it's over real quick... Completely normal...
    battleready likes this.
  9. GoAway

    GoAway Fapstronaut

    She is also one my main motivations giving my fuel to quit this addiction. Unfortunately I relapsed a couple of days ago but I am back on track.

    I try to postpone the sex as much as possible, but first I need to get myself together and man up, so I can get some days under my belt instead for relapsing.

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