Nextians Journal

Day 147

Yesterday was pretty chill. Work as well as being here - until the rest of the family came over, sudden chaos.

Today we visited Aunt and Uncle and brought some groceries over. They don't look as good as they did before the big move to their new home. The new home is great but it feels like they are completely drained, no power anymore, barely able to walk... Hope they will be okay again, but they are around 90 years old both. Happy that they have such a long life.

Things I am thankful for today:
Shopping tour for others went great
Not too much work
Routines are still great

Things I hope for today:
No stress
Wife's flu gets better
Good food

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 148

Happy chaos day everybody! We had some fun today. Again buying groceries for others, switch out a door lock, putting up curtains, buying stuff for that, getting some more groceries and household stuff. Aunt and Uncle have been very appreciative for that. :)

Hopefully we don't get sick again as the wife from my father in law is dead sick again and doesn't know any manners or boundaries...

However, we are very much looking forward to be home again soon (2 nights left here, whoop!).

Things I am thankful for today:
Emotions are in control
Doing good things for others makes me proud
Only 2 nights left

Things I hope for today:
No stress anymore
Wife gets better
Some time to put my feet up

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 149

Short one today, busy at work. Getting some stuff after work for dinner and trying to relax a bit.
Looking forward to getting home tomorrow afternoon :)

Things I am thankful for today:
Around 24h until we are heading home!
Power and good mood today
Good amount of sleep last night

Things I hope for today:
Dinner will be okay
Wifes flu gets better, it's about time
No surprises

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 150

Went all good yesterday, we prepared dinner for all. Was good, very tasty :).

Today (finally) is out drive home again! Can't wait to be at home!

Things I am thankful for today:
Heading home!
My wife appreciates the hard work on myself
Cuddles this morning already

Things I hope for today:
More cuddles
Save trip home
Work is patient

Have a good day everybody and a nice weekend!
 
Day 151

Had a smooth drive home yesterday and we both are very happy to be here again.

Flu of wifey gets better a little slowly. That's good news. Hope she gets well soon. We have had a wonderful day together - checking out new flats to move in (just for fun, we would not REALLY move as we love it here), played some games and now cuddling on the sofa and watching football!

Things I am thankful for today:
Wife kissed me today :)
We had a lot of fun today
A place to call home again fully

Things I hope for today:
Kissing my wife again
Good game of football
A E-mail I wait for arrives

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 152

We had a great evening! Wife was so tired that she fell asleep with her head on my legs while watching TV. That is every time something special for me, as I see that as a sign of trust as well as something she did regularly back in the days. We kissed last night in the bed to say good night - that has been the first kiss since almost a quarter of a year. I have very rarely been so happy in my life like last night.

Things I am thankful for today:
Progress is good
Another trip with wifey to see some friends, check out a flat and visit my mum
Awake in the morning

Things I hope for today:
Chores will go smoothly
Mum and friends are doing fine
Kisses and cuddles in the evening

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!
 
Day 153

Yesterday was good, we went to check out that flat and it was HORRIBLE haha - quickly decided that this was the worst place we have visited and went to see friends after. We visited my mum after that and checking in on her how she's doing. Not great to be honest, she is still very upset and looks tired because of the cancer of her best friend - I cannot imagine how she feels, must be terrifying and just bad.

That situation makes me think about general mortality of us and ultimately death. I need to think about that as I am not good coping with it.
Maybe something my therapist can unravel with me. Next appointment is on Wednesday, looking forward to that.

Things I am thankful for today:
Beautiful weather
Going out with my wife for dinner this evening including a magic show!
My stunning wife

Things I hope for today:
Conversations will be good today
Not too much work
The mail I am still waiting for arrives

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 154

Good day yesterday, went to dinner and had a wonderful evening together. And then I ruined the last bit by asking her stuff about her past which has been locked away by her for a good reason - and my dumbass brain thought it's a good opportunity to ask about it. She was a bit confused about why I was asking. I was too... Don't know where that came from actually.
She wasn't mad at me or anything, but I was so upset about myself. Keyword: Situational awareness. When will I learn?

Things I am thankful for today:
Hugs and kisses from wifey
Coffee
Musical tonight!

Things I hope for today:
Kisses and hugs from wifey continues
A good night out
I can keep my routines!

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 155

The musical was not good haha. But we had fun anyway. This is something I love about us. We make ourselves a great night out no matter the 'problems'.

Therapy session today - will possibly be a tough one as I want to talk about hard stuff for me. That's what it's about. Speak about things that destroy me from the inside.

Things I am thankful for today:
Waking up early is not too bad today even though I lack sleep
Work is fine with my weekly appointments
My beautiful wife who gets more and more exited about her trip in February

Things I hope for today:
Weather gets better
Best man is okay (seeing him for dinner tonight)
Wife feels great

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 155

I got a fresh new haircut yesterday and I love it.
Went for dinner to kind of a french food place with my half french best man. He said that the food was even better then in most places in France haha. Fantastic evening and lots of laughs - got some belated birthday presents from him: We are going to learn how to make Sushi! Such a cool gift. Very exited!

Today my wife and I are heading to a dance course for standard dance, that was my Christmas gift for her (us :) ) - we are exited about it!

Things I am thankful for today:
Not much work
Cuddles in the morning
Time with wifey

Things I hope for today:
A good dancing session
Getting things done I have on my agenda today
Great mood overall

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 156

We went dancing yesterday and had a blast. It was great being so close to each other - even though she tried to lead every now and then haha.

I am a weekend off with my sister (Christmas Gifts from us for us :) ), looking forward to that. Maybe we can have some conversations around why she doesn't feel all too well and I can help by listening.

Things I am thankful for today:
Privilege to make 'vacation' on weekends
Kissing my wife is back on the menu
Health

Things I hope for today:
Save travels
Cuddles and kisses with wifey
Appointment goes well

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 157

Beautiful here where I am, a close by lake and the accommodation is gorgeous. Great conversations with my sister and a good time.

Things I am thankful for today:
Sun is up
Family
Missing my wife

Things I hope for today:
Messages from wifey
Weather stays like that
Sauna!

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 158

Heading home! Was great and our sauna here can relax again after heavy usage haha. It is damn cold but beautiful outside, everything looks like painted white-ish.

Things I am thankful for today:
Nature is gorgeous
Relaxed after a short night (divisional weekend!)
Coffee

Things I hope for today:
Safe trip home
Wife has a great day at her friend's baby shower
Chores go smooth

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 159

Travel home was very good, great weather and had a stop at my sister's for breakfast :)

Wifey was very happy to have me home again - I am so so thankful for that and proud of how I managed and coped with the difficult times.
Teached me once again 'if there's a will, there's a way'.

We are heading out for a birthday dinner tonight, fancy asian place - looking forward to it!

Things I am thankful for today:
Productivity kicks
Coffee (went to bed late again)
Not much work still

Things I hope for today:
A good evening with food and friends
Car gets fixed for good
Sun? Maybe?

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 160

Evening was great, we all had a blast celebrating a birthday from a wonderful person. The world needs more folks like her - it would be a better place.

I ordered something which is arriving today and I want to try it out latest tomorrow - can't wait!

This evening wifey is with her bestie. So I will possibly hit the gym tonight or do something else for myself either. Before I have my next therapy session.

Things I am thankful for today:
Awake even after only 6h of sleep
My wife came cuddling onto 'my side' of the bed at night
Package arrives today!

Things I hope for today:
Kisses and cuddles
Therapy will be good
Productivity

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 161

Package arrived! It's great - and we love it.
Was a good therapy session yesterday felt like I opened up more and had some insight into myself.

We'll go dancing tonight, exited!

Things I am thankful for today:
Good breakfast
Nothing major at doctors
Good weather

Things I hope for today:
Great dancing session
Testing the new thing again
Work goes smoothly

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 162

My wife gets more and more comfortable with me and her again - which is wonderful. She gets comfortable as well with herself again, she let me see her without clothes on purpose and I think that is a very good sign. But I now (more than in the last months) need to be on my toes about temptations of acting out because she looks so damn good.

We had a ball dancing yesterday and we are getting better at it. Still stepping on each other's feet but it's more natural meanwhile. Going dancing again tonight, this is pure joy and fun really.

We had some cuddles in the morning today - she pulled me to her side under her blanket and our skins met in the dark. What a way to wake up slowly :)

Things I am thankful for today:
Cuddles in the morning
Wife gets comfortable again
Friend called me and asked if I can help him

Things I hope for today:
Friend will be fine
Dancing lesson will be great
No pain at dentist for wifey

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 163

It's Friday baby! A lot I have on my agenda today, but after that we will have a whole weekend just for us - no duties, no friends (at least not planned haha), no appointments. Just the 2 of us! Fantastic!

Went dancing yesterday, we get better each time we are in the course - cool to see.

Things I am thankful for today:
Wifey is so happy about very small things like grocery shopping, I love to see that
Productivity
Kisses in the morning

Things I hope for today:
Getting all done to concentrate on my weekend
Cooking dinner will be fine
Work gets done smooth

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 164

A very good day yesterday :) We had a friend over and I cooked dinner - 3 'courses': Salad, Cottage Pie and a desert. Was good, everything went well.

Lots of hugs and kisses yesterday - I am SO SO happy that this is back in our lives.

The past months made me very humble and thankful for what I had and have again. I changed for good and the past, ignorant me really seems to be gone by now. That feels incredible.

Things I am thankful for today:
It's warm suddenly? 11 degrees? I mean, nice - but wtf?
A lot of cuddles in the morning
Good mood for both of us

Things I hope for today:
More cuddles! Let's be honest, can somebody get enough cuddles?
Being close, not only physically
Maybe a bit of dancing

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 165

We had a wonderful weekend! That was time for us and only for us. I loved every minute.
We danced, we ate, we cuddled, we have been close and open to each other :) Now watching football and rooting for Kansas baby!

Things I am thankful for today:
I am happy
My wife
Acceptance of my body

Things I hope for today:
A little late for today, will post tomorrow morning again for that :)

Have a good night everyone!
 
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