Nextians Journal

Day 166

I am tired, very. But I wanted to watch the game so it's only my fault haha. Tough day ahead of me: Work now, stepping out to have a therapy session, coming back quick shower, more work, heading to mum's best friend to pick her up and have a boardgame evening with her, mum and my wife. Pretty stressful and if I am stuck in traffic at any point the plan is crushed haha.

Still looking forward to this week, a lot of great things ahead of us as well!

Things I am thankful for today:
Coffee
My wife being appreciative of the things I do for her
A plan for today

Things I hope for today:
No traffic
Plan goes well
Evening won't be too emotional

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 167

Plan went well, no traffic or else. Evening was nice, we had good fun and all were happy.
Heading to a Korean dinner place today evening - so good there, looking forward!

Things I am thankful for today:
Work went well
Coffee
My wife

Things I hope for today:
A good night out
Good mood
Dentist appointment goes well

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 168

Wife's good evening mood was a bit overshadowed with some annoying stuff from work at first. I need to learn not to get intoxicated from my wife's bad mood or if she is nervous - not sure why that happens every time but it bugs me. The food was unfortunately not as good as it used to be in that place, but the service was great.

Dancing session today! This is so much fun. No matter what happened during the day, dancing cures it.

Things I am thankful for today:
Self reflection
Being able to go on holiday
My wife looking gorgeous

Things I hope for today:
Not much work and no stress
Dancing tonight will be grand
Weather stays as sunny as it is currently

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 169

We had a good conversation on our way to the dancing lesson. We talked about how proud we are to have our marriage on a good way again and what we both need to learn and work on still. I shared my anxieties and she did as well.

Tonight another dancing session waits for us to be taken! It's great to do so much with the love of my life again. Especially right now because she is on vacation with her bestie for about 3 weeks from next week on. Hope all goes well.

Things I am thankful for today:
I feel that we get closer each day
Not a lot to do today
Enough sleep

Things I hope for today:
A good dancing session
Cuddles and kisses
Concentration on being productive

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 170

Dancing last night was great. That has been 'the last dance' (haha) with my wife before she is going on her trip. I am happy for her to go but sad that she is away - will miss her. Need to make the best out of it! Time for me and myself. Want to keep my routines and having some quality time maybe in a sauna place again :)

Concert this weekend - going to see a band I wanted to see for soooo long! Will be grand!
Looking forward to the fun times we will have there.

Things I am thankful for today:
Good weather
Good mood
Routines

Things I hope for today:
Being productive
Not too much work (Everytime! Sounds like I am lazy haha)
Cuddles and kisses

Have a good day everybody!
 
Nextian said:
Especially right now because she is on vacation with her bestie for about 3 weeks from next week on. Hope all goes well.
Click to expand...
Nope. This does not fit right. I don't think it's appropriate for any married person to go on an vacation without the spouse. That's a huge risk to open the door to infidelity. She's not even concerned about you being triggered by the extended loneliness. On top of your dead bedroom. I'm suspicious.
 
Day 171

Can't wait for the concert today! My best man and his new girl are coming with us spontaneously - very nice!

KevinesKay said:
Nope. This does not fit right. I don't think it's appropriate for any married person to go on an vacation without the spouse. That's a huge risk to open the door to infidelity. She's not even concerned about you being triggered by the extended loneliness. On top of your dead bedroom. I'm suspicious.
Click to expand...

Thanks for making thoughts, first of all.
No need to be suspicious, this is a totally normal thing to do for us - I will be off for a week as well with my best man. :) I don't think it's inappropriate to go on vacation without your partner. Everything is okay! As well it's a good opportunity to go for 'me-time' - will be nice and I promise to give updates on how I feel honestly. :)

Things I am thankful for today:
Concert! Whoop!
Seeing my best man
Power for today!

Things I hope for today:
Great evening
Drive will go smooth
Chemo of my mum's best friend is going okay

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 173

Sad day today. Brought my wife to the airport and I won't see her in the next 3 weeks. But there are positive sides as well.

Therapy session today went well, but couldn't really concentrate this time as I am so so tired today. Will have to skip next week as well, because I am on vacation as well.

Will feed myself well today evening and watching a movie or so - maybe I still get to be productive today, but I kind of doubt it...

Things I am thankful for today:
Privilege to live a life with everything I could wish for
Work was good
Health system of my country

Things I hope for today:
Wifey arrives safely
No bad mood
A good amount of sleep

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 174

I think I am not good in being alone. I don't like it very much and as soon as it's quiet a awkward feeling of loneliness takes over. Even though I know that I am not lonely it's difficult for me to cope with it, when I am not doing anything.
I assume that is something I need to bring up in my therapy as well. Topics are gathering quite quickly as soon as you have a look inside yourself...

Other than that my better half arrived safely in a lovely place and all went well. She is in a place where she doesn't have wifi too often as it's not as touristic but she texts me as soon as she is able to. I love the 'ding' sound my phone makes when she writes. :)

Things I am thankful for today:
Close friends of us getting twins
Private media migration 'project' kept me from boredom (mostly)
3 days until my vacation

Things I hope for today:
A good sleep
No bad mood
Wife is okay

Have a good night everyone!
 
Day 175

Slept well last night, a little longer than the night's before - thats good. A lot to do today, need to get the flat tidy and clean as my best man stays over tomorrow and I need to pack some clothes for our vacation. The coffee machine needs some love as well and in between I need to work somehow haha.

It feels good to be productive, keeps me from boredom which leads to bad things and thoughts.

Deejay68 said:
You have come a long way huh..this is awesome.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your kind words, I appreciate it. Indeed it was a journey though - a very valuable one. It helps to share the story, cannot appreciate NoFap enough though.

Things I am thankful for today:
Slept well
Energy to be productive
Good mood

Things I hope for today:
Wifey get to see whales
Chores will go smooth
A message from my mum's best friend that all is okay

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 177

Vacation time! Whoop! It's awesome here - just settled and at the bar :) Will be short posts for the time being. Still staying strong with no temptations at all.

Things I am thankful for today:
Privilege to do stuff like that
My best man
My wife

Things I hope for today:
Good food
Good sleep
A good time!

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 178

Sunny weather, good food, massage treatment - I love it here. We had a relaxed evening with a Shisha and some drinks. Going to the pool soon. So far for today! Enjoy your day folks!

Things I am thankful for today:
Sun
Free time
Cigarettes cheap as hell

Things I hope for today:
Wife gets better
Good food the the evening
Relaxation

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 179

Superbowl was meh. Expected some Mahomes magic - now the Ewwgles took it home (hope nobody gets spoiled).

Pretty tired today, 3,5h of sleep is not enough to be really awake - probably going for a sleep after breakfast haha. Trying to go for a quad to in the next days, and a cooking show tonight.

Things I am thankful for today:
Weather is getting a bit warmer
Best man and his girlfriend are in love :)
My stunning wife sent pictures *.*

Things I hope for today:
Quad Tour getting booked
Pool spot
Food this evening will be great

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 180

Half year now, feels good to be sober not gonna lie. I recover great and it feels like my testosterone level exploded somehow. Feels a bit like missed that in my puberty haha.

Booked a ATV tour through the desert for tomorrow, exited!

Things I am thankful for today:
Great weather
Wife had a great evening yesterday
We have a great time here

Things I hope for today:
Relaxation
Good talks
Maybe a nice dinner

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 181

Today is the tour! I am exited and don't know what to wear though lol. The wind is pretty cold but the sun is quite hot, weird weather. I guess the desert is windy as hell. Let's see :)

I really start to miss my wife badly - one and a half week to go still. But we call almost every day and Whatsapp in between. Thats good.

Things I am thankful for today:
Sun is up
Privilege to be born in a wealthy country
Food on my plate

Things I hope for today:
Quad Tour will be grand
Nobody gets hurt
Good conversations

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 182

Tour was awesome, had some really good fun and my muscles are sore now haha. Turns out the part of the desert we have been to is not windy at all haha. Just the wind while driving.

We have been at the pool the whole damn day today. Was great though. Getting ready for dinner now and a light show this evening. Let's see. :)

Things I am thankful for today:
Enjoyed the sun
Relaxation
My wife

Things I hope for today:
Good dinner
Good show
Good trip for my wife to her next stop

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 183

I had a great holiday! Will fly home tomorrow - enjoyed the sun and the time in a different spot.

Things I am thankful for today:
Best weather for the whole vacation
Got some sleep in
This trip

Things I hope for today:
A nice last evening
Good food
Check in go smooth

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 184

Yesterday evening a mother and her daughter sat down to our table without even asking. My best man had a short talk with them during the day somewhen and they decided just to join us - I wasn't really keen to have folks with us on our last evening at the bar, but have been too soft to speak up. They were mourning the whole time about the hotel and the food. I think the quality was pretty good for the price we payed actually.

How would you react if you want to have the last night at the bar with your best man alone to maybe recap how it was and talk about stuff nobody else should listen to? Honesty welcome. :) I think I should have said something but instead just went with the flow, even though I didn't want it.

Other than that: Travel day! Checkout until 12, pick up 3pm, flight 6pm, arrival 10pm, home possibly around 11:30pm. Will enjoy the last hours of sun again :)

Things I am thankful for today:
I am not a mourner
Wifey had a great evening
Coming home

Things I hope for today:
Flight won't be late
Travel goes smoothly
A good amount of sleep in my own bed :)

Have a good day everybody!
 
Day 186

Yesterday I have been to the gym and ordered Kebab after. And it was not good. Pulled my stomach and threw up, now I feel like I have a HUGE Hangover with no power at all and cannot move away for the toilet for 30min...
I needed to cancel my therapy session due to that... :(
Other that that all is fine, work started smooth.
Looking forward to get rid of this used day.

Things I am thankful for today:
I live
My wife
No to-dos

Things I hope for today:
Time passes quickly and I can go to bed without any incidences
Feeling better would be great
Hope my sickness doesn't kick me in the back a few day in the future as I didn't do anything

Have a good day everybody!
 
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