Nice Guy Syndrome

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by jreacher2828, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. jreacher2828

    jreacher2828 Fapstronaut

    Just curious if anyone has recovered from or is in the process of recovering from "Nice Guy Syndrome" (as described by Dr. Robert Glover)? During my journey I'm starting to uncover that my addiction to porn may be related to this. I'm wondering if anyone is dealing with this issue as well?
     
  2. Wiwilliam

    Wiwilliam Fapstronaut

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    Quitting pmo will give you the confidence that you need to become a badass.
    Good book btw.
     
  3. BestVersionToday

    BestVersionToday Banned

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    A much better book is by Dr Aziz called "No nice".
     
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  4. jreacher2828

    jreacher2828 Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, that's great to hear. I'm looking forward to making some positive changes to my life.
     
  5. jreacher2828

    jreacher2828 Fapstronaut

    Awesome, I'll have to check that out. Thanks for the recommendation. I appreciate it.
     
  6. Dr Glovers book is a great book I have used it to set up boundries and stop being critical of myself and to not deal with toxic people it also helped me to relize that trying be perfect was a huge cause of my stress and anixety
     
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  7. BestVersionToday

    BestVersionToday Banned

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    Woops, sorry, the book is called "Not nice". For men and women, and is way better than No more Mr nice guy which I think is over rated.
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  8. jreacher2828

    jreacher2828 Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, yeah I googled it and figured it out. Looking forward to reading this one soon. How's your journey going? Staying strong?
     
  9. I’m approaching 100 days no-PMO and still don’t have much confidence around women. There are those of us that are hopeless cases! LOL!
     
  10. Motiv3

    Motiv3 Fapstronaut

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    If you don't believe in you, neither anyone.
    Start finding yourself, and girls will feel great around you.
     
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  11. jreacher2828

    jreacher2828 Fapstronaut

    Hey man, not every reboot is the same. Stay positive and be patient. Learn skills that will build confidence. We believe in you.
     
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  12. Bad_hombre

    Bad_hombre Fapstronaut

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    As a recovering nice guy i have to say that it's been an interesting eye-opening endeavour to pump the fucking niceness out of my veins. You must find your boundaries and stand up for your ground, put yourself in situations where you have to say no especially to women, so you can get more confidence. As you increase your confidence niceness will begin to withdraw.

    I was an I'm-not-so-good-nice-guy. I used to think that i was undeserving of attention and unloaveable, which made me take appalling decisions, now i'm working on it big league and nofap is crucial to it because it's bringing me back to the real world of real people where i can connect to others and feel alive again.

    You must know what kind of nice guy you are and work on it it fits quite well with the nofap challenge. Many of us porn addicts are unwitting nice guys this book should be even more known than it actually is. The world needs men who have the balls to face this wave of falsehoods and misconceptions.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018
    I can overcome and jreacher2828 like this.
  13. Marcelo48

    Marcelo48 Fapstronaut

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    PMO by itself does not make miracle happen, but it helps a lot. Still, there are other ways to improve confidence around women. The most common is the holy Gym, getting stronger and bigger is a simple and effective way to improve your confidence in life. There are a lot of other things like cultivating an assertive mindset or public speaking training that will boost your confidence as well.

    I really recommend everyone to read the book as well, I bet that almost all users around here will benefit from it tremendously.
     
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  14. I bought Not Nice upon your advice and I started reading it right after No More Mr. Nice Guy and Dating Essentials for Men (really bad stuff).

    I have to 100% agree. Not Nice is 100 times better than No More Mr. Nice Guy. The author of No More Mr. Nice Guy thinks being kind is being a jerk (though he claims it's not). He also has a really stupid, juveline conception of men and women. Apparently that guy went from one end of the spectrum (total loser) to the other (total jerk).

    Dr Aziz approaches the issue of Nice Guys (AND GIRLS!) with love and compassion and walks us through the issue and how to recover from it in a really powerful and kind way. Whereas the guy from No More Mr Nice Guy hammers for 200 pages (often repeating himself and in a disorganized fashion) that Nice Guys are pathetic losers who deserve what they've got unless they "grab their balls" and "man up" (shut the FUCK UP!). Reading it made me feel so sad and disgusted at myself. But Not Nice from Dr. Aziz gives me hope and makes me feel compassion for myself.

    Thank you Dr. Aziz!!!!
     
  15. My Best self

    My Best self Fapstronaut

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    I’m a bit too nice I’ll try to get more assertive in the new year fear keeps me nice like being an outcast or losing my job
     
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  16. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    Just remember it's not just nice guys who finish last, it's also assholes. Dont confuse bad boy with asshole. Too many guys make that mistake and not only do they not get the girl but their whole lives just turn to shit.
     
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  17. Exactly
     
  18. its not that your a nice guy, you are just unattractive
     
    Kligor likes this.
  19. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    A nice guy is addicted to attention. He has to find a way to fill that inner gap.
    Pleasing others as a way to prevent rejection, but shows his fear for rejection.

    It's as always about deeper layered issues that need some serious attention.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  20. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I still recovering,i find out that you must believe yourself,i m on good way now.My parents teach me to be good,not lying,no cheating,don't insult anybody(i get complex from that) i know they wanted me the best and to teach me to be man.Before nofap i was really man who don't give a sht about anything,just watch myself,not comment others,when come to conflicts i would just say what i think and show no fear,in few words i was confident and have my YES or NO.But when i started nofap things have changed,i started to be "Nice guy".I will keep my mount shut even if someone insult me just to not insult him,and i started to fear to i speak with loud voice could i insult someone(i want to say to much bs happened).I have realised very soon that all of this is in my mind,i don't overthink anymore,i don't think and care what others thinks,i adjusting to situations if i speak with normal people who show me respect i do same thing,if i have conflict with as$hole i behave like as$hole too,but i avoid situations like that only when i have need.
     
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