No contact with women for over 5 years

Hi brother

Welcome! Any journey starts with the first step. It starts with acknowledging the problem, and realizing the need to change. I thought for a very long time that only one problem was the cause of all of my problems and pain. I thought it was just pornography, just the fact that women didn't want to be around me. Personal problems are manifestations of what is going on at a deeper level. Essentially, we are through our challenges and problems, pushed to grow and evolve as human beings. The question that you now need to ask yourself is: are you willing to go through the process of growth? Are you willing to change and learn?

I think the best thing that you can do in order to meet and connect with women, as well as dealing with your social problem, is commit to the process of working on yourself. Even from what I've read, it seems like there are many things that, if you were to work on, your life would become much more rewarding and rich. Here is what I would suggest as a practical solution for your first problem: Get out there and meet women. It is not easy, nor is it comfortable, but the only way to socialize with and form relationships with women, is if you are in the real world and actually meet and talk to people. You can do dating apps sure, but I believe that's a short term fix to a deeper problem. It's a mindset shift that needs to happen. An attitude of being willing to be vulnerable, being uncomfortable, and taking the hard knocks in order to learn, grow, and to gain the skills necessary to become someone capable of having rich relationships.

I would suggest looking at these areas of your life:
1. Acknowledge that change needs to take place, you need to set a vision for yourself of the kind of man that you would like to be, and where you would like to go in your life.
2. Work with a therapist, life coach or someone that can help support you in dealing with your problems, and growing as a person
3. Exercise
4. Meditation (doing this regularly has changed my life)
5. Stop looking for external things to complete you. We all get lonely, but we certainly all have the capabilities to develop a loving relationship with ourselves to the point that we don't need to compulsively pursue relationships or validation in order to feel good enough or happy.
6. Focus on building relationships. Family, friends, and intimacy. We all need people and connection in order to be truly happy in this world. As I have stated before, there are no shortcuts. The world doesn't care if you're introverted, relationships require that we learn how to communicate and socialise with other people. You are simply going to have to go out and meet people. I'll give you a video from a wonderful psychologist about this called Jordan Peterson. In fact, any help that you may need with an area of your life, this man has profound insight and direction



https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jordan+peterson+how+to+have+better+conversations

7. Lastly, if you're looking for meaningingful relationships, becoming a good man is the way to go. Relationships do not do well with selfishness, lies, manipulation, laziness, and anger. You need to grow as a man to find anything worthwhile. Some of the most meaningful moments of my life have been overcoming the parts of myself that harm my life. Growing into a man of integrity, courage, honesty, and discipline, has given my life meaning and self-worth.

Good luck my brother! If you need any more help, send me a message

 

If you have courage just post a picture.. I've had decent success with dating apps so I wpuld suggest you the same, if you are lonely mind that there are many girls like you too and you're not the only lonely person in the world lol....

 

Feel the same as you