No effect and motivation...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by nolapfap, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. nolapfap

    nolapfap Fapstronaut

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    Better read post #8 (this is a bit older, some background information^^)

    Hi,

    I am now on day 12 (try 50 or something, but this time I found NoFap and got more motivation for beginning). I dont have big problems with porn. Its just really hard for me to stop masturbating, because I did it like 4-10 times a day or even more. I nearly relapsed yesterday, I was already masturbating but stopped... I think two times. I see everywhere that everyone feels changes after just some days, but I dont even feel a bit of change. I read a lot about nofap and I still believe in it. At the moment I think I am doing something wrong, because I masturbated so much and there is no change... Every moment is hard and its just getting harder and harder to avoid masturbating... I need to keep it 4 weeks and I have one free month extra, because I will be on a bike tour with a friend of mine. I do nofap because I am usually all day in my room and it prevents me from learning for school, because always when I try to learn, I need to masturbate. After I masturbated I learn sometimes 5 minutes and then I do it again... These 12 days made my whole life kind a worse, I did do something for school but very ineffective and now I am playing computer games again (not much but I do...) and I dont even cook anymore. My last activitie I still do is meeting a friend all 3-4 days.
    So I am asking if I do anything wrong? Or do I expect too much? What can help? No changes still :( I am thinking if my attitude to the whole thing is wrong or something? Today was an easier day again, but I am afraid of further days and I am more afraid of doing something completly wrong and then I made everything without any profits. I will try not even touching the next days.
    Hope you can give me some usefull advice :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
  2. ThatOneGuy56

    ThatOneGuy56 Fapstronaut

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    Things will get better, you just have to be patient. The first few weeks are always tough and what your going through is the common symptoms of masturbation or porn withdrawl. Just keep going, it will get much easier eventually.
     
  3. nolapfap

    nolapfap Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I read your comment, but I was too lazy to answer... I am now on day 18. Still no change. I stop believing that nofap can help me. I just do it because I know I will feel even worse if I stop it, even worse than before trying nofap. As I said I am on day 18, it seemed impossible for me, but I feel as bad as always. I still dont even talk a bit to others (just when necessary), I still cant concentrate, I still got all this brain fog and everything is a bit worse than before. I read a lot on the internet and I never read that anyone needed more than 14 days to feel something. I read on the internet why it sometimes doesnt work, but some reasons I didnt understand why (like this) and the other reasons arent relevant for me. I think I do something wrong or so, but cant imagine what. I am sure you will answer like "just keep doing it" or something else, but I never saw a story of somebody who needed so much time to feel just a bit. My expections were even very low. I thought that some might say it much happier as it even is, and I thought keeping expections low might be good, that the effect might feel even better. I had plans to never fap in my life again, but if I wont feel anything after about 70 days (I will probably be able to do it, because I need to hold on 2 weeks until I am on a long bike tour with a friend)

    But I feel nothing. I just feel bad. I believed so much in it, I thought it must change a bit of my life, just a bit and I will get more motivated. I searched about hours in the internet for a story of somebody who fapped 5-15 times a day and maybe one with changes after longer than 18 days, but I couldnt find any story and that is very bad for my motivation and everything I think I would feel better without all those storys and all that time I used to looked after such a story. Does anybody know such a story?
     
  4. ThatOneGuy56

    ThatOneGuy56 Fapstronaut

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    Just stick with it, usually drastic changes occur around 30 days in or more, my best is 14 but I don't recommend going back man at least you know that its not a good habit.
     
  5. guyfromonline

    guyfromonline New Fapstronaut

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    Nolapfap,

    The reason you are not noticing a difference is you are not putting yourself in a situations where you will find it, additionally you need to find outlets for your social needs. You say you are not talking to people you would find a difference you need outlets what is something you want to do? do it.

    check out
    Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong
     
  6. nolapfap

    nolapfap Fapstronaut

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    I am often enough in situations I could talk to other people. But I still dont know what to say and I sometimes even try to think about what to say, but I cant think of anything...
    I will watch the you mentioned tomorrow...
     
  7. Tassleh0ff

    Tassleh0ff Fapstronaut

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    Nofaplap,
    It sounds to me like you might be dealing some other issues outside of your masturbation habit. You need to find new things to keep you interested, and excited, outside of your room. The bike tour is a great example! Find more things in your life this. You may want to investigate if you may have other issues keeping you from concentrating, like ADD or other disorders, maybe even see a therapist.

    Above all, don't continue to focus on the negative. Break the pattern of circular thinking on negative thoughts like "nothings changed" .
     
  8. nolapfap

    nolapfap Fapstronaut

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    Today is day 26. I dont know if I relapsed... I coudlnt resist and touched my penis and just pressed a bit, I knew I would be able to get an orgasm within 5 secs, but then suddenly there was so much sperm (Even after a very long and slow masturbating session there wasnt so much...). But I had no orgasm, so would this be a relapse? I know most people here dont really want to say "relapse", but I want to count my days and I want to have a guide line (hope it was the right word for that) where my status is and when I complete 90 days and so. I still dont feel the smallest change. As Tassleh0ff said, I shouldnt concentrate on that, but it's really hard doing that :/
    So what do you think?
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
  9. Tassleh0ff

    Tassleh0ff Fapstronaut

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    It's up to you to decide whether you've relapsed or not. You have to set your own parameters for your own goals. You have to ask yourself, what is my goal? No porn? No masturbation at all? And stick to whatever they are.
     

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