No friends, no girlfriend, miserable job

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Ji83j, Mar 30, 2019.

  1. Cornixico

    Cornixico Fapstronaut

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    I just saw this thread and I know it was posted a couple of weeks back but it struck a chord with me. I have similar problems to you, no gf and not really any friends. I guess something you can do about it is join some clubs or do some volunteering (it’s what I’m doing to get myself out there). Volunteering will make you feel better plus you’ll get to meet lots of new people maybe even some friends. Also try checking out meetup.com which is a site that advertises groups for all sorts of hobbies and activities e.g running, cooking, yoga etc. Really that site has so many opportunities to meet people in a fun way. Especially if you live in a big city but even if you don’t you can find a lot groups in other places. Im planning to join a Spanish learners group. There really is world of opportunity out there. You’ve just got to get out of your comfort zone. Also don’t let anyone make you feel bad for doing stuff on your own. I’ve gone to the cinema many a time on my own, I actually really like it, also museums and art galleries are great solo activities. I hope this helps, and if your ever feel down and want to chat feel free to send me a message. Good luck and just keep on keeping on!

    Here’s that website again
    meetup.com

    They also have an app too.
     
  2. J92

    J92 Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same boat as you, albeit I have a job I enjoy. Loneliness used to bother me, and still does from time to time but Ive largely overcome it because I've stopped romanticizing the idea of a life I don't have. I've also stopped romanticizing the lives of others.

    Pay closer attention to other people and you'll see that almost everyone, friends or no friends, girlfriend or no girlfriend, is unhappy, anxious, aimless, insecure, restless. What most people value in friendship/companionship is the distraction it offers from their own problems, their own minds. Most people are distracted, not truly happy.

    When you see this, your anxiety about being alone will diminish. It is a great source of confidence to know that the only person you need to be happy is yourself.

    Loneliness is not the result of being alone, but rather the result of being bad company to yourself.
     
  3. Zakzico23

    Zakzico23 New Fapstronaut

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  4. Nighthawk72

    Nighthawk72 Fapstronaut

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    This is true.
     
  5. shawnb2016

    shawnb2016 New Fapstronaut

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    I used to be scared of things. I was scared. But also corrupted by PMO. It's corruption was so bad, that I felt like I was useless to everyone around me. Now, I have joined NoFap. And now, I feel good. But sometimes I get urges to do porn. I need to end my addiction before it's too late.
     
  6. Sunny321

    Sunny321 Fapstronaut

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    Do not despair. Everything temporarily and in the future will improve. The main thing is to believe in it with all your heart.
     
  7. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    The only way to survive your job is to learn to enjoy doing it. Easier said than done, but finding that motivation helps a lot.
     
  8. Denier

    Denier Fapstronaut

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    I don't have time but this is very relatable. VERY relatable. The only difference is, I live in another country and under the safety net of my mom's house.

    I have periods of unemployment, have only had 1 full time job and am pushing 30.

    There are more of us than people realise there are. Women by their very nature can attract attention. Men can't unless they are in the top 20%.
     
  9. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Let's get some things straight, especially in terms of beliefs:

    - Friday and Saturday people are having fun: Well, some; some work on Friday nights or enjoy a cup of tea by themselves with a good book.
    - A girlfriend would make me happy: if you're not happy with yourself and yet share your life with someone probably in the same boat as you, that's not gonna be easy for neither of you.
    - My job sucks: There is no law saying that you must like your job, but for your happiness the leisure time could be used to bring about happiness and meaning.

    Here's an example from my life (37 years old):
    - I don't have friends currently and happy with it, but I have colleagues; we don't meet for fun stuff, but I enjoy my solitude currently. I took 4 weeks off work, unpaid because I felt out of balance (burnout, severe depression); this week I decided to quit the job and look for something new. I have some small savings and will keep me for a couple of months, but already landed a lower paid job in a smaller company, in which I'll have more diverse tasks.
    - I don't have a girlfriend, I dumped the last one because we didn't match. I was trying to please her and she was trying to please me, so no one was pleased with the situation. I then developed feelings for a very good friend and work colleague last year and that killed the friendship and left both of us with emotional bruises - I wasn't ready for a girlfriend and she was not ready for a boyfriend.
    - You mention nothing about your spare time, your leisure time. This is the time when you have license to do exactly what your heart pleases, without anyone telling you what to do. I cook, take baths, listen to philosophy lectures on youtube, read books, meditate, photography, answer to posts here. I don't watch TV or movies and I have no social media account. I structure the leisure time so that I do what interests me at that point in time and I try as much as possible to not be left with my thoughts for too long, but with my emotions.

    I'm not saying you must or should feel the same as I do, but I hope some of what I wrote will inspire you :) Keep your head up!
     
    OnTheEdge likes this.
  10. hopingforabetterlife

    hopingforabetterlife Fapstronaut

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    you are earning more money than me dude.
    i feel like a creep. most of the time i keep things to myself.
     

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