No friends

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by johnmicormick, Mar 25, 2020.

  1. johnmicormick

    johnmicormick Fapstronaut

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    I must admit, this quarantine isn’t even hitting me very hard. Other than being confined to the house most of the time, I still find time to read and play basketball. It’s just like any other weekend. I do get a little bored sometimes, but socially nothing has changed. I had a late development in my social skills growing up, and this has alienated me from a lot of my peers. I’ve gotten past the point of then disliking me completely to a sort of neutral battle ground. The only thing stopping me from making friends is my social anxiety, which stems from the lack of social skills. I however have been fortunate enough in these recent years, to have had an on and off girlfriend. We started dating 3 years ago, freshman year. She has talked to some people in between but me on the other hand have not. She’s not too good socially either, but she’s doing better than I am as she has a few good close friends. Our relationship has been strained due to the fact that I’ve solely relied on her for my social interactions. I feel that this has put to much pressure on her, needing to be near perfect to meet my needs/expectations. I’m looking for close friendships, and I suppose that relationships count, as there is a certain level of intimacy that can only be reached with the opposite sex. Female friends would be nice too, but trust and anxiety have left me empty in that department too. I used to have some good female friends but they either went to other schools or we grew apart. I have male friends that I talk to, have basic interactions with but I’m not going over to their houses or hanging out. We only spend time when we have to, like school or sports. Anxiety has left me from moving any further. I probably need to deal with that first, but any other advice given would be much appreciated
     
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  2. I'm actually enjoying the fact that now most people have to stay home, alone or with the few people who live with them. Now they have to endure the same dull, boring loneliness like we do. Like any other weekend, I watched some educational youtube-videos, went for a walk or jogging and occasionally played some computer games. Socially I'm as isolated as always. I don't have any friends who care. I was on the way to make some friends in some public charity association but that's now halted during the coronavirus crisis. I was also close to meet a girl. As I was changing my residence every 6 months and looking for associations and sports clubs, there was always at least one girl who started being interested in me. It's like the same everywhere I go. I always had to move before anything could start. This happened like 4 times in different places. There's nothing more frustrating than knowing that you have the social skills and popularity to have a social network, friends, a girlfriend, a place where you are welcomed and appreciated as the person you are BUT there's always something ruining what could have been. 4 times something was growing and EVERY SINGLE TIME it was disrupted through unlucky circumstances.
     
  3. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    How can we become an INTERESTING PERSON who people will love to know? (READ TILL THE END)
    -DON'T LOOK AT MASSES FOR INSPIRATION(First reason)
    Now what do i mean by this?
    Let us consider an example
    Let us consider DANCE.
    There are a lot of dance moves that one can try.But there are some which are the most trending and has a popular style(FLOSS DANCE)
    But when you step on the dance floor and do the floss you are doing that others know.
    DANCE IS AN EXPRESSION OF HOW MUSIC MAKES YOU FEEL!!!!
    If you start doing the same thing as others do you by definition become BORING!!!
    The only way to combat this is to DO THINGS THAT YOU GENUINELY WANT TO DO!!!(Don't worry,it is human nature to do what others do.)
    -(Second reason)
    Imagine a circle and this circle represents all the things that you know and contains things that you find comfortable doing.THIS IS YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
    The problem is that people are scared to venture outside their comfort zone
    You are not sure what would happen if you try that new thing.You get saredthat you might mess up.
    In order to be interesting you will have to muster up that courage and move outside your comfort zone.
    There is no trick to do that.You have to face yours fears .
    In the end you must understand that even though you fail at least you are now more courageous than you were before.
    THIS MAKES YOU INTO A MORE INTERESTING PERSON.

    You also start to gain a lot of confidence which i believe will make you into a more successful person.
    ALL THE BEST TO ALL FABSTRONAUTS!!!!!:);)
     
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