No guilt after watching porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by zenmode007, Oct 19, 2021.

  1. zenmode007

    zenmode007 New Fapstronaut

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    Dear comrades. I am a 20Y|M. I want to discuss a novel experience I am having with porn for the past 3-4 months. Before getting into it, I want to tell you about my experience with nofap. During the fall of last year, I pursued nofap relentlessly hoping that it would help me overcome my deteriorating mental health. Back then I was quite naive to think that nofap would cure my mental health which I later learned that the cause of my bad mental health was my various thought processes. Ok, back to nofap. After several relapses and nofap streaks of one week and two weeks, I managed to reach a streak of 2 months after which I gradually forgot the purpose of nofap and started fapping again. However, around the 2-month mark of my nofap, I developed a new hobby that occupied most of my time. So, even though I was watching porn it was very minimal and less stimulating in nature (mostly ASMR stuff). Also, I gradually abandoned the thoughts that I used to engage in which mostly made me miserable and guilt was among them.

    My fapping increased a lot during the month of May when I had to stop my hobby to study for an exam which was a month away. Since then I cannot stop engaging in PMO. And, the weird thing is I don't feel any guilt. It is like the neural pathway for guilt after PMO has become weak. I think that is a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing is that I don't feel like shit and my mental health is okish. But, the bad thing is that I am not able to quit PMO as my mind is not perceiving it as a bad thing. I kinda miss feeling guilty; I can't even force myself to feel guilty for more than 10 minutes. However, I believe that not engaging in my old thought processes will be the best for me in the long run. But, I need to find a better mechanism to quit PMO, a mechanism that I am not acquainted with. I have figured out that the mechanism involves saying no to habits that are bad for me without feeling bad about myself. I know it is vague. This is where I want your help. Please tell me your opinion/advice about this or better your similar experience, so that I could figure my way through this.
     
    Akbarmagnus and Meshuga like this.
  2. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    You are feeling quilt because you wrote here. It does not matter if it is asmr or anything, porn is porn. Your addiction brain justified porn and now you believe in it, that is why you do not feel quilt. No matter what the porn is, it is not good for you.
     
    Candun likes this.
  3. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    Exactly right. P does not directly destroy your mental health. What it does is provide a distraction from your real problems. It's a numbing agent, so you don't deal with your problems. So your problems keep piling up, getting worse, and it feels overwhelming so you want to PMO again. When an anxious addict gets rid of PMO, they have that numbing agent out of the way and are better motivated to address the actual problems. That removes or reduces problems, removing and reducing stress, reducing the urge to PMO. Yours is a different problem.
    From my therapist's perspective, you're in a pretty good mental space and you have your P addiction managed. He wouldn't see a problem with where you are right now.
    This right here, this is a sign to me that you don't have your addiction managed. The rest of what you say makes sense, it's good stuff. Guilt is a negative emotion, it does not serve you. It's good that you don't wallow in guilt when you PMO. However, P is still bad for you.

    If you've already done NoFap I assume you read the reboot basics, or watched a video or something. Maybe try that again, as a reminder. P is dopamine overdose on demand, it's not a good thing for your brain. Note that you quit your hobby to study, but you're not spending that extra time to study. You're spending it jerkin' yer johnson, so it's a time sink. P tricks your brain, making you think you are already a successful male, spreading your DNA while in real life you aren't. It's not that you really want to be a **** anyway, but you won't be as aware or on the lookout for a good mate either, and a good mate is hard to come by. When you find marriageable material you snap that up, but you could miss her if you're on PMO. P also distorts your expectations of what women should look like and how they act. It encourages you to objectify all women, thinking of and treating them strictly as sexual objects rather than multi-dimensional people. Even if you are consciously aware of it, you're still affected, and in term it dehumanizes you. P subtly but significantly makes you into a worse person.

    I think what you're really missing is stakes. Leaving guilt and shame behind is a good thing, but P is still a big deal and you're a lot better off without it.
     
    E31 likes this.
  4. zenmode007

    zenmode007 New Fapstronaut

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    Now, I realize that I have been justifying watching porn somehow and escaped the feeling of guilt. Thanks for telling me this.
     
    Candun likes this.
  5. zenmode007

    zenmode007 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for telling me this. P was indeed tricking my brain especially without the help of guilt to ground me in reality.
     
    Candun and Meshuga like this.

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