No more double life

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by MyMind07, Jun 22, 2020.

  1. MyMind07

    MyMind07 Fapstronaut

    What i have found is the best benefit of NoFap, is that i don’t have a double life anymore. Before I had a double life and kept my life secret from everybody. I was very ashamed of my habit. Due the shame I didn’t maintain close friendships or began an relationship, was very closed as a person, because i didn’t want that others came to know about my porn habit at that time. I wasn’t a honest man. I lied a lot.

    The benefit that I got since I gave up porn, is that my shame and guilt is gone. I don’t have to delete my browsing history or feel anxious if somebody has my smartphone. Because the shame is gone, I can look people into their eyes. When I talk with someone or a women, I look them deep into their eyes and feel an connection with them. I have noticed that some women stand closer to me when I have good eye contact with them. I can maintain eye contact with others, because I have nothing to hide. Eye contact is important because it shows your soul to another and creates intimacy.

    From the book The Porn Trap:
    The worst side effect of using porn is how lonely and isolated people become from the important people in their lives. Anyone who spends a lot of time online feels lonelier and more isolated from the real world. The “fun” visits to a fantasy world actually makes it in time impossible for people to maintain close and genuine loving connections with real people.

    Regular porn use is isolating because it involves tuning out and turning away from other people. A double life comes because porn users have taught themselves to “compartimentalize” their porn use - separate it off from their real life and access it at times when they are alone. The main problem is, because maintaining a secret “compartment” for porn means you have to be secretive and dishonest with others.

    Finding time alone with porn and searching out for the “perfect” porn drains time, attention and energy that might otherwise be spent in social activities or with an intimate partner.

    Being hooked on porn interferes with developing close, meaningful relationships, including relationships that are physically intimate and mutually sexually satisfying.
  2. Drambuie

    Drambuie Fapstronaut

    i know the feeling too well. Having to hide it from everyone. It makes me feel ashamed and not deserving of peoples love and trust. It has also stopped me from finding a true relationship. I cannot wait to feel that feeling you described above. Thank you for addressing this. Its one of the main issues with this addiction. Thanks again

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