Staying at home seems more like a form of torture to me right now. Outside, I flourish with friends and activities, working out, playing sport,... I get all the positivity, energy all of that throughout the day. Thinking I can knock this addiction off easily, I am proven DEAD WRONG at home. Home is a place where you are all alone, where you get the scariest shit that is loneliness. Only at this place, I am reminded of how lonely I am since my last relationship. I seem to move on, probably, but staying at home somehow prevent me from doing so. The stronger I am outside, the weaker I get at home. I just don't get it. I get all sort of headache, stress when sitting my room trying to study. Every goddamn time! The pain, the noise, the stress, everything seems to fall on my head at home. Home is where I lose myself and destroy progress I put effort to make all day long. Sometimes you feel like a successful day, you still can get crushed at the end of the day. Where? Exactly. At freaking HOME. OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE CHAIR WHERE I GRAB MY DICK WATCHING SOME SEXY WOMEN HAVE SEX BUT IT IS NEVER REAL AT ALL. What else can I do at night besides staying at home ?