No More Mr. Nice Guy Challenge: Becoming a Stronger Man. (Dudes Only)

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Slayerknightlvl55, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. The human failure

    The human failure Fapstronaut

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    I'm not here to police anyone, nor am I really qualified to. I'm just saying that not everyone shares the same goals :p In fact mine are about the exact opposite of yours xD

    I'm not a new age feminist, I actually consider myself pro mens rights when it comes to representation in the courts and in domestic abuse cases. I'm just a tranny. Unlike what some people seem to believe trannies don't all think the same thing or all go the same way politically. I'm actually pretty conservative when it comes to politics actually.

    I respect your right to become masculine even if I don't personally want to do that. I just hope I can get the same respect in return. I'm not going to "recruit" or "steal away" anyone who's actually interested in this or anything if that's what you think :p
     
  2. Ochanomizu

    Ochanomizu Fapstronaut

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    The ebook is no longer available!!

    The book sounds interesting, but I spent so much on books recently that I just told myself to stop buying. Is it worth a buy or not? (Along with Mastery by Robert Greene and the other book, I have heard Mastery being recommended by many others).
     
  3. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    My therapist also has suggested I consider a group but specifically steered me away from SA. Obviously, I don't know you or your situation and your therapist does, so take this with a giant grain of salt, but my guy doesn't think the 12-step approach works very well in trying to deal with all of the repercussions of sexual abuse.
     
    Credo likes this.
  4. Credo

    Credo Guest

    I couldn't agree more. I feel the 12 step system is broken in that it claims recovery but there isn't really recovery since they also continue to call themselves addicts. When I had gone to the meetings in the past I felt as if the 12-step program itself became the addiction for many of the members. The belief that they couldn't survive without the program or their meetings. I felt the program kind of keeps people in a state of perpetual victimhood. This has just been my personal interpretation though. If some here have done the 12-step program with great success then more power to them.
     
  5. TheSaxMan

    TheSaxMan Guest

    I'm gonna re-read that book.
     
    Slayerknightlvl55 likes this.
  6. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

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    I just started reading this book. I wish I could stop being nice and kick my twin out of my house.
     
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  7. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

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    This book is interesting. No wonder I am a nice. My mom use to beat. She use to tell me she was going to kick me out of the house. Almost everything on the list that makes a guy nice my mom did to me.
     
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  8. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 of 365.

    Hey guys. Damn, it's been a rough week. I've just gotten through midterms and I'm working on a ton of of projects for the coming year. Still, I couldn't wait to get back on the thread and talk through everything with you dudes.
    So, I got into an altercation with my dad yesterday. It had been building up for a week now. I had been giving him the cold shoulder. This was mostly because he was stressing me out and I when I'm working on scripts, I tend to get tunnel vision. Things finally came to a head on Friday afternoon when he barged into my room. He confronted me about ignoring him and I just shrugged him off. Then when I came home for work Saturday morning, my lock fell out of my door knob- my dad had ripped it right out. It was retaliation for keeping my door shut and locking it. I confronted him. I held my temper and demanded that he admit that he ripped my lock out. He denied any responsibility and I was all like "I got you" (as in I'll get back at him for it).
    I paid 30 bucks to get the lock fixed and then I confronted him again. This time I told him that he owes my 30 bucks for the lock. He told me that he'll talk to me later about it and I told him that he'd better do it soon and that one way or another I was going to get my money back. He tried to laugh this off but I think he knew that I meant business.
    Other than that, I'm coming to terms with whom I really am I accepting it. I don't get as angry or embarrassed when people laugh at me or call me "white boy" when I speak. I'm also accepting the fact that I'm just not attracted to black women I probably never will be. I was saddened by this fact for a long time and I felt like a traitor to my own people. Deep down though, there's no desire to change that aspect of myself. I like the way that I am. I'm still coming to full terms with that but this morn I feel a lot better about it.
     
  9. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 of 365.

    Breaking Free Activity #2.

    This is a continuation of Chapter 1. It's the second Breaking Free Activity.
    Question: Why would it seem rational for a person to try to eliminate or hide certain things about himself and to try to become something that different unless there was a compelling reason for him to do so? Why do people try to change who they really are? Take some time and think about this. Is this your behavior or the behavior of someone you know?

    Yes. This is my behavior but recently I've had great boost in confidence and self-esteem so I've gotten better with it. However, I do find myself falling back into these traits.
    It would seem rational for someone to change who they really are out of fear of rejection. Social proof and rejection are powerful things. Since we humans are social animals, it's important to "belong". However, since we men have had a less-than-desirable childhoods we have taken up the nice guy moniker. We believe that the more agreeable that we are, we are more likely to be loved and to get our needs met. This if further from the truth because often we end up pushing people further and further away. People try to change whom they really are because they are seeking everyone else's approval.
    The only reasons to change whom you really are would be if you are a danger to yourself or others or if there actually is a compelling reason to do so (i.e. self-improvement, to keep your family, wife etc).
    In conclusion, this activity has taught me to figure out who my authentic self truly is. In short, I'm a very energetic, confident man. I'm very assertive and sometimes aggressive. I can even become pretty cocky when the mood strikes and I like lead or take charge. I don't like to wait around. When I'm independent, self-sufficent and doing the things that I love and doing them well- I'm at my most powerful and safest. I love being around people. I love dancing. I love sports. My passion is all things film and filmmaking and I want to enter the industry in a year. I have an infinite love for women, books, video games, sex and marijuana (although I only smoke it once or twice every two months).
    My flaws? I can say that my cockiness can get the best of me. I can overdue it and become over-confident. Sometimes, I do get moody but this mostly due to fatigue or when I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I'm a little slow sometimes but when I understand something, I'm the best person to ask. I do get tunnel vision. I become so focused on one task that I forget about other things.
    What about you guys?
     
  10. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    Have you read the whole thing yet?
     
  11. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    Why do you wanna kick him out?
     
  12. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    Do it.
     
  13. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    That sucks dude. Did she raise you by herself?
     
  14. Slayerknightlvl55

    Slayerknightlvl55 Fapstronaut

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    It is totally worth buying. Probably the most important book ever.
     
  15. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    I am happy for realizing that isn't a realy long journey to me. Always done what i want and told people the truth, sometimes I tell not the full history to not seem as a creepy stalker who's watching vampire diaries to understand what's on my cousin mind, but i realized that it may not be the best way to do things.
    And doing everything alone isn't helpful, what a great discovery.
    All I have left to say is if you are scared to do something because of failure, then fail today to succed tomorrow. The people who realy love you are the ones who are there for who you realy are and being fake will only attract more fakes.
     
  16. Hammer0007

    Hammer0007 New Fapstronaut

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    Nice one, might have to have a look at that book.
    I purchased "The Compound Effect" (I think from reading a recommendation of it off this site a while ago) and this has encouraged me to re-read it.
    I found "The Compound Effect" super helpful for me, it broke down and made it simple and tangible to understand the effects of PMO for years on end have. And also makes success much more tangible, when realising how you can put 'The Compound Effect' into your fight against PMO. It's a super motivating book, and I like it for making something that feels like a massive task that you'll never be able to achieve (For me, NoFap) become a tangible goal and not as scary.

    So if you're looking for any more reading material, I would recommend it! Each chapter lays out tasks for you to do and for you to track your progress on things, so it's good to give your mind something to do, keep your mind pre-occupied.
     
  17. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

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    I wonder if I should try this with my twin. Putting my needs first instead of my twins. He is very nervous and says sorry all the time.
     
  18. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    I have considered reading this book because I saw it being recommended at so many different places. But just the title puts me off and the free sample at Amazon didn't really help either...
     
  19. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Shame that so many people would rather ask people to do the work for them. I'm suspect of any self-help book, but if a book contains the roadmap, it's worth a peek. It's better than making a thread asking people to do something for you, as opposed to only needing the tools and carrying out the mission yourself. :)
     
  20. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

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    The book says having mean Mom made me a Nice guy. My mom use to tell me I was a nothing as she whipped me.

    They say fear of abandonment as a kid make a guy nice. I'm happy I have a nice dad or I would of been homeless
     

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