No Motivation Left

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fordfanboy2010, Oct 28, 2015.

  1. I relapsed today after going 71 days without PMO. I didn't P. Just MO. But the thing is, I don't feel motivated to get back on the horse and get going again. It is like I don't care any more. I've been stressed lately, and I feel like I've forgotten why I even started NoFap in the first place. When I relapsed, I just thought to myself, "What the hell..." and just did it. I still feel that way. To be honest, I'm not even mad at myself, and I just feel like binging. What has happened to me? I used to be all about this new no-PMO life.

    Anyone else gone through this before? Any tips?
     
  2. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

    1,408
    1,442
    143
    71 days! That is awesome. You have forgot what Hell is like. If you binge and don't get back on track you will hit bottom again. Then you will remember what this lifestyle is all about. PMO is a fantasy/escape. It is not real and it makes us weak and pathetic. It leads to ED and poor self confidence. It leads to isolation and a wasted miserable life. We have one go at this life. Let us make the very best of it.

    Keep this in mind: If you were to relapse every other day, you would be fapping 50% less!! Not bad. You will be successful if you don't give up! Lifelong journey brother. Learn from the relapse and it will not be failure. Journal around the event. Why did it happen? What were you doing minutes before? hours before? days before? How was your diet? Were you exercising? Were you engaged in doing things you enjoy? etc. Dig deep with each relapse. It is an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself and ultimately grow stronger and become the warrior you intend to be. Head up! Stay strong.


    You have to read this post full of golden advice to help you on your journey.

    http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-top-tips-for-leaving-pmo-behind.35201/
     
    Strugglesaurus likes this.
  3. slowhands

    slowhands Fapstronaut

    106
    139
    43
    Hi man,

    you've been very brave and strong to reach 71 days. It's a wonderful target despite the setback you faced. Starting from now you own all the motivation, tips and benefits to overcome the next 71 days without succumbing to this trouble again.
    Exactly now, I'm feeling like you. I feel very stressed and anxious because of a job interview I'm having tomorrow. I prepared myself and something is still to be done. I'm looking for a way to relax, to get some cheecky pleasure and enjoy some momentary lust. Yes, you read it right: MOMENTARY.
    Tonight it'll be my 70 days without PMOing, just like you some hours ago. I've been thinking about it before opening my internet filter. Then I said to myself: I'm afraid...but afraid in a positive way.
    I'm afraid of being bloody down and depressed after PMO. And it'll be this way for sure.
    I'm afraid of stumbling into binging for at least 2 days. And it'll be this way for sure.
    I'm afarid it will affect all the benefits I've gained so far.
    And especially I'm afraid of losing 70 days in the most foolish way.

    I put my face in front of a mirror and said: !I love myself and I won't do it". This soon changed my mindset and i feel more relaxed, calm and focused now.

    Next time, try to think about how PMO will affect your streak! Nothing is lost now, just pick yourself up and start again. And better!

    Good luck, bro!
     
    taqwa likes this.
  4. xcdagz

    xcdagz Fapstronaut

    12
    3
    3
    Man this is tough, and honestly i had a 72 streak and its been 4 months after that and I never got to get past that amount of days. I believe this pressure of "keeping the streak alive" only makes it harder sometimes, and its best to just regroup, get to accept we made a mistake, and face things daily rather than trying to pressure ourselves to get back on track quick. Our mind has this "I've already done this what's the point thing" and it has a poor concept of time that sometimes things we can just face easily become harder when we face it a lot of times, that we forget what's the point of fighting it. Believe me, after 4 months I regret my decisions, but its this process that I have to get through, we have to. Keep fighting friend! BTW my tracker is wrong ive just had a 5 day streak but I cant edit it because of account limitations (I need one more like thing)
     
    Fordfanboy2010 and mv8652 like this.
  5. How do u get those pmo meters?
     
    taqwa likes this.
  6. CountryDude

    CountryDude Fapstronaut

    305
    193
    43
  7. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

    1,408
    1,442
    143
    Just click on any user's green bar and it will take you to google. You will sign in and then follow the directions. It is really easy. You will need one more like in order to change your signature. I will take care of the other like. Your signature is located in your profile. Please read these posts brother. It will greatly help you on your path. May you be granted Tawfeeq (success).

    http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-top-tips-for-leaving-pmo-behind.35201/
    http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/newbies-faq.49575/
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. mv8652

    mv8652 Fapstronaut

    462
    669
    93
    Just don't binge. You're stressed and emotionally drained right now, which is not a good time to make decisions. Give it a day or two before you decide what to do. I had a streak a lot longer than yours and considered myself rebooted, so I made a conscious rational decision to go back to an occasional MO. After three of them over several days that were less than spectacular, I missed my fapstincence; so I'm back now on the wagon indefinitely.
     
  9. Guys I'm spinning out of control. Like what @xcdagz said, I've just got this "I've already given in, so what's the point?" mentality. Since I relapsed last night, I've already MO'ed 3 more times and used P once. Usually it takes a few days or even weeks for me to start using P again, but it took less than 24 hours this time. I've heard a lot of stories about guys who go a while without PMO, then relapse and dive back into it harder than ever before. I hope that doesn't happen to me, but if I don't find some strength and a resolve to get back on track, I feel that may happen.

    I got arrogant thinking I'd conquered PMO after just 70 days, and here I am now, feeling like the old PMO slave again.
     
  10. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

    281
    507
    93
    I would try and identify what really led you here in the first place. What was it about your life that made you want to quit in the first place. If you don't know or can't remember then I would suggest that is the point you should focus on. I assume most people ended up on this journey because something about their pmo habit just wasn't right any more. Remember that. And remember all the benefits you've experienced since you started. Nothing in this life worth having is easy.
     
    Strugglesaurus likes this.
  11. I'm feeling better. 2 days no PMO. I think I'm good to go for a while. I feel I'm ready to get another streak going. Maybe this time I'll make it to 90. The reason I started in the first place was because my habit always made me feel dirty and I didn't like it. I want to feel clean again.
     
  12. Booster

    Booster Fapstronaut

    253
    191
    43
    I get that its sad when we lose a streak, but 70 days without porn is just bloody fantastic.
    A lot of guys seem to forget that internet porn is bad because people use it every day for hours at a time, the brain cant cope with that level of Dopamine.

    Though i get that no porn is the best option, you have no way rewired your brain to what it was 71 days ago, You are still well into fixing your brain of porn and its effects.

    just carry on with starting another streak, the longer you keep it up with the same mindset, porn will have less of a pull.
     
  13. I've relapsed 2 more times. I've just got to step up to the plate and do what I gotta do. I've been careless and not doing what is necessary to avoid tempting situations.
     
  14. Booster

    Booster Fapstronaut

    253
    191
    43
    You will aways get temptations and situations that make you want to masturbate, many you will be unable to avoid, The trick is how to ignore them.

    Thats the skill you need to master im afraid, training your brain not to want to automatically masturbate.
     
  15. Don't worry @Fordfanboy2010 at least u are regretting it..this shows that success is not too far!!...(actually everyone at nofap regrets after a relapse, so everyone is going to quit pmo soon!!... :)..). May God bless you!
     
    Fordfanboy2010 likes this.
  16. Well, right now, my brain just masturbates whenever the urge strikes it, @Booster. How do you make yourself want get back up when you're knocked down? I want to be free when I'm not feeling tempted, but when I do feel tempted, I want to give in more than anything else in the entire world. I'm a total addict again...
     
  17. firstcaptain

    firstcaptain Fapstronaut

    210
    13
    18
    Fordfanboy,

    If you're looking for motivation, externally, you can look through the scores of stories from people here who can describe the ill effects of PMO. I find that to be a useful boost during low times.
    But I find it is more powerful if you can try to rely on internal, personal motivation. Go back to your lowest time, and re-read over why you are engaging in nofap. And if you don't have that, next time, if you do relapse, try to spend some time documenting how you feel, and why you want don't want to engage in this activity anymore.
    Outside of motivation, one thing many people try to do is to cultivate the willpower in general. In our case, "won't power", the ability to not do something that we want to do. This is also very useful, because, there will be times when motivation fails, and all you have left is your standard, and your willpower to choose to follow your standards, or relapse. This summary of the book "The Willpower Instinct" is a good resource:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pjiQNuqUtIeyZdIFgzmVqGdkJM71oGnIaRZSWHVNhpk/edit?pli=1
    I don't do any of this perfectly, but I'd thought I'd share of what I at least hope to do.

    -firstcaptain
     
    Fordfanboy2010 likes this.
  18. Thanks @firstcaptain. I need to sit down and come up with a list of reasons to fight this addiction. I need to find my "want to." For a while now, I haven't found a strong reason to combat my addiction. However, I'm approaching rock bottom again, and I'm rediscovering the hard way why I wanted to get away from this first place
     

Share This Page