I've been wanting a miracle to happen in my life for several years. I thought maybe a girl would come and change my whole life or a guy friend who would support my endeavors. I wanted people to care about me. But years go by and miracles never happen and I always feel stuck. It's hard for me to embrace change as I am scared of the unknown so I'm always waiting for a stranger to save me. I guess deep down I couldn't trust myself to do something that will change my life for the better so I depended on imaginary characters. So now I'm trying to change that by taking on a few responsibilities. And I've been feeling really left out and lonely without a direction for the last couple of days. Previously, I would've relapsed days ago but just because I'm not getting real-life female interactions I'm not going to rely on pixelated women. I need to change my mindset.