No PMO BUT I’ve been kissing and touching

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Moon Shard, Feb 21, 2020.

  1. Moon Shard

    Moon Shard Fapstronaut

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    Will it harm my boyfriends recovery if I arouse him? We agreed to no sex 2 weeks after he started no PMO. It’s been almost 3 weeks and he’s been flatlining for about one now. Even though it’s been a week of no O for him I really need answers on whether or not us kissing and touching will hurt his progress or slow it down
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Lots of us in relationships decided to go for no-porn and no-masturbation reboots, but to continue loving sex with our partners. It may take longer to reboot than hard mode (i.e. no orgasm mode) but he will still be fine. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2020
    anewhope and Moon Shard like this.
  3. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

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    I think its important to remain sexually active within a long term relationship because you feel lost and moody without it. The closeness becomes further away too.
     
  4. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    The only problem with this is that it almost always makes it incredibly hard in the beginning for the addict to resist the urge to pmo. I was adamantly opposed to a hard reboot in spite of my therapist advice. It was only after 2 months when my husband told me how hard he was struggling that we started a 90 day hard mode. We only made it 52 days, lol, but it was a huge factor in helping him stay clean. We then did another 50 days about a month later when again he was struggling. He’s over a year clean. Communication is key! Only he knows when he’s struggling. He doesn’t get the chaser every time but occasionally it still happens. Hopefully one day it will be gone for good.
     
  5. He has to develop a normal relationship with women again and your tenderness will help him.
    People are different and I can only speak of my experience: Being close with my wife and caressing has such a powerful effect on me. It calms me and it can reload my energy on a day when I am down. Kissing and skin-on-skin gives me so much - not necessary to have any further action.
    You should be careful with arousing him though (I mean, if sex is not on your mind in that moment). When you have started teasing him, he will very soon want you to continue and it can feel very unpleasant to him to have to calm down after being aroused. This could indeed gear his thirst for PMO, but being tender and close and also kissing is actually good.
     
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