No progress after 90 days. Am I in a flatline?

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Ihateflatlines, Aug 30, 2017.

  1. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Even though this is my first post here, I am a long time follower, as I have been struggling with PIED (with moments where I thought I was cured and subsequent relapses which destroyed all the previous work) for 2.5 years now (I am currently 28).

    In my last streak of more than 90 days free from PMO, I am currently seeing little to no progress (still no morning woods), which is starting to worry me a bit, also considering my history. I'll first summasize my background, so that you guys have a little more context.

    When I realized porn was a problem

    As most guys here, I masturbated to porn since a young age (probably 13, though I can't remember for sure) until I failed to perform with a girl and realized porn was the culprit.

    In my first reboot I felt I was healed after approx. 45 days and started masturbating again (without porn). I had regular morning wood and erection quality had improved tremendously, although at that time I did not "test" with any girl.

    The relapse

    Some months after my first reboot (during which I continued to masturbate to fantasy only), I relapsed first to pics of bikini models and then to porn. This was a tough period in my life during which I had a lot of stress and was fool enough to believe porn would help relieve the stress.

    The second reboot and my last relationship

    After some time, I started to reboot once again. I didn't go hardmode and engaged in masturbation from time to time. At the same time I started dating a girl who would then become my (now ex) girlfriend. When we tried to have sex and I failed, I told her about my problem and, while a bit disappointed, she was extremely supportive.

    The relationship helped me rewire and I got to the point where I would always get extremely strong erections while with my girlfriend and had regular morning wood. We had sex approx. once a week.

    The problem was that during the entire relationship I kept masturbating, mostly to pics of bikini models and never to porn. In my very foolish mind I thought this would not cause any problem, as it was not porn.

    This behavior inevitably had an impact on my sex life: while getting an erection was not a problem, I would sometime lose it during sexual intercourse (which led me to prefer oral sex to penetrative sex). Moreover, my libido was still down and I only had sex with my girlfriend once a week.

    To make a long story short, the relationship ended after almost one year, partly due to the fact that we never got to the next level of intimacy in our sex life (because of my then mild pied).

    The stress of dealing with the breakup led me to further watch porn for a brief time.

    My currenct reboot

    When I realized it was time I reacted, I decided I would start to reboot once again, hoping this would be my last.

    In the period from March to May, I masturbated only twice. At the end of May, I relapsed to porn and got sturck in it for 3-4 days.

    I am now completely PMO free since 28 May - which makes it more than 90 days.

    During this reboot, I worked out a lot and tried to improve all areas of my life in general (social skills, etc.) with quite some success. I also started drinking green tea daily, which should improve neurogenesis and therefore help speed up the reboot.

    However, I see little to no progress with my PIED. While I would get morning wood (and sometimes even random erections) during my first week, I then entered a flatline which I am not sure I am still in right now. I have sexual thoughts and urges, but I stil feel the "dead dick" and have no morning wood (occasionaly I have some morning woord, but the erection is extremely week). If I try to test, I can get an erection by myself (to fantasy or to touch), but the erection is quite weak.

    As I have seen so little progress, a couple of days ago I started taking garlic extract and Korean ginseng, although it is too soon to see any difference.

    Why am I not seeing any progress? Do you believe I am still in a flatline? I would have thought that, since I did not watch massime amount of porn over the last year and a half, this reboot would be quick and that I would soon be recovered.

    I have been restricting a bit my calorie intake over the last months, as I am trying to lose some weight. Could this be part of the problem (perhaps the prolonged calorie restriction is messing with my hormonal balance)?

    This is getting kind of discouraging...
     
  2. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Quick update, in case anyone has actually read the whole post (it's quite long, I know...). I am getting morning wood a bit more regularly now, but my erections are still far from being full / what they used to be (I'd say never more than 60-70%). No spontaneous erections during the day and no wet dream yet.

    In the meantime, I started supplementing with Arginine (2800mg a day). Not sure whether this has caused the (very) limited progress or I should be expecting more results from it.

    Is it possible that all those supplements that should increase nitric oxid / libido don't real work, if your brain is not really healed yet (and therefore is not capable of sending the right signals to trigger a good erection)?
     
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  3. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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  4. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Woah. A not so successful story and it gets buried. NoFap community is generally helpful, but I sense some of the noFappers aren't really helping because they're sometimes so against PMO that any post that suggests nofap isnt working for some, they don't bother replying and the post gets buried. I think this post should've got more attention, if not its own "failure story" column.
     
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  5. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    About a month after my first post (late September - close to 120 days), I started to feel more “movement” down there. I had morning wood much more regularly, felt crazy attraction to most girls and had some spontaneous erections as well. I didn’t have sex, but I am pretty confident I was headed in the right direction.

    Then I kinda screwed up. I was talking with my ex and it looked like there was a good chance to get back together. But things didn’t go the way I hoped (she just wanted to be friends) - which led to emotional pain and relapse.

    At least I avoided any binging. I guess I PMOed no more than 5/6 times in a month. I also used Tinder a bit during this time - which I think only worsened things (I guess the whole mechanism just reinforces bad neural pathways). Anyway, that was well enough to throw away most of my hard work: it didn’t happen overnight, but in early December I felt I had lost most of my progress and decided I needed to get back on track.

    Fast forward to now, I am on day 42 of my new (and hopefully last) reboot. Right now I feel way behind where I was in late September. I have morning wood sometimes, but I don’t feel much libido - I’m definitely still in the flatline stage. Despite that, on some days (like today) I feel a lot of attraction to girls and probably even ogle way too much. I guess it will just take time.

    Also, I just started seeing a new girl (wasn’t really looking for this, it just happened). Not really sure how to handle this, though. It may be good to rewire, but it feels way too early for sex. And I am not sure I want to go through the emotional burden of explaining my problems right now. We are taking things slow, but, if we keep seeing each other, the issue of sex will come up. Ideally, I would like to go for sex once I feel I am almost rebooted.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
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  6. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your support!

    Incidentally, at the time I didn’t really mean to imply that Nofap doesn’t work. I was probably just a bit scared because of the very slow progress. But I do understand it may cause people to just ignore the post.

    Right now I myself wouldn’t want to read about nofap not working either ;-)
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
  7. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Lol that's good to know. And can you answer a couple of questions for me so I'd know how long should I go approx.

    How old are you? And how many days you think it would take for you to fully recover now approx? Me I'm 30, and I have morning wood only rarely, but I've had them twice in the last ten days, which is an improvement to before, and I've been pmo-ing for 12 years, but been masturbating since much younger (maybe 12 , but less frequently wihtout porn). I lost morning woods for the last 3 years or so. Had them very rarely. Also while in your flatline, you had 0 movement down there 24x7? I think I flatlined between days 7-20, but I've been able to get hard if I fantasized. Even a slight thought about sex, I experience movement down there.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
  8. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    I am 28 and, based on speed of progress in my previous reboots, I’d say I probably need at least 60 more days or so. I PMOed regularly from probably about 13-14 (not really sure) to 26. After that I watched porn much much less, but there have been times during which I fell for porn subs. Right now I do experience morning wood sometimes and I do feel some movement when I have sexual thoughts, but the quality of the erections I get on those thoughts varies a lot (sometimes it’s a decent erection, sometimes it’s just movement). In my previous long reboot I went through a longer period of zero movement down there - this time perhaps there seems to be a bit more movement, at least over the last days. I tend to have long flatlines.

    I see your current streak is about as much as mine. Are you doing hardmode or do you try sex from time to time?
     
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  9. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Sadly I can't try sex from time to time. I have a friend who I had sort of had sex with (couldn't penetrate coz ED).. And hard mode means no Pmo for 90 days right? If so, yeah that's my goal.. I'm 31, and have been PMO-ing since 18, MO since 10.
     
  10. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Hard mode is actually jus no PMO. Some people advocate a soft mode approach where you only eliminate porn, but are still allowed masturbation and orgasm (through sex) and some rebooters (especially those in a relationship) try sex occasionally even if it turns out they can’t really perform.

    Guess there is little sciencentific knowledge on this, but in my experience I have always felt that any form of orgasms (sex or masturbation) slow down progress.

    Good luck on your journey!
     
  11. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    I seemed to have been aroused when I was talking to someone though through video chat and that's why I got the semen leak during the video chat. Almost as if I was "edging", but I wasn't really. I dunno. I wasn't touching myself during the video chat. It's not a porn sub? I'll try to keep on avoiding video chats. I just hope it's not considered a reset.
     
  12. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    No more video chats, man. We need to avoid any artificial sexual stimulus (sex scenes in movies, sneaking pics of hot girls on social media, etc.). The easiest approach is that, if you are not sure whether it's a P-sub, you just stay away from it. Your mind will fool you into believing that a lot of porn in disguise is acceptable and you will not always be able to think it through clearly. So, you need an easy-to-follow rule for those cases.

    Resetting is just a conventional thing, it's up for you to decide. You don't need to reset anytime you break that rule. But you do need to be aware of your rules and when you break them - and put strategies in place to prevent that from happening again.
     
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  13. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    Not at least until my sexual dysfunction heals, correct? I don't want to go back to porn, but I do want my brain to heal and I want to go back to normal video chats with friends. I never did porn video chats.

    Which may take a while.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2018
  14. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Were you talking to a friend or some random stranger? I assumed the latter, but I may be wring at this point. From what you say, it appeared to me for some reason your brain associates video chats to sex.

    Anyway, of course, once you are healed, go back to normal
     
  15. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    I take 5000 mg of L Arginine a day on an empty stomach. I get nice wood.
     
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  16. thel00ker

    thel00ker Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, for me having sex helped a lot. There were a lot of times where I had PIED and the most important attitude for fixing it was to actually show up and experience the problem with her.
    I never talked about my porn issue, I just mentioned that I was a very anxious person and that when I wanted to have sex my desire to perform overpowered me, giving me no chance to actually get excited and filling my head with negative thoughts.
    My last reboot was a soft one where I would allow myself to masturbate from time to time. When I did though I tried focusing only on my sensation and not on images inside my head. Other times I would touch myself with some kind of lotion and simply experience the feeling. The idea was to start getting excited again without the need for a huuge erection or a brilliant orgasm and to start connecting with my body again in order to rewire.
    In case I MO'd I had to endure the chaser effect for some days, and sometimes some brain fog.
    I simply relaxed about what was expected from my masturbation process and I started paying attention to what my body was getting turned on by, What I liked, what felt good.
    I just couldn't compare an erection produced by porn with an erection I made on my own, Orgasm was also a very hard thing to achieve lots of times.
    When I started having sex I felt very strange, I had ED lots of times and a lot of anxiety. I didn't exactly enjoy it. This girl later became my girlfriend and by sharing all these experiences and by overcoming my insecurities I started enjoying sex again and really getting turned on and having good erections.
    What I'm trying to say is that for me it was a very long process, and that in order to enjoy my sexual life again and replace the old one I had to reconnect with my body and my turn on's again, almost from scratch.
    If I started having sex around day 90 then I would say that at day 160 I felt that I could get turned on, have sex and really enjoy it without even thinking about it.

    Here is a quote from my post that can help you in case you are having trouble with ED.
    I understand that a flatline is different, and that you might feel no sensation at all. Then just relax, assume you're already cured and try to get in touch with your body again. Don't try to get an erection though, understand that erections happen when you're actually turned on and that in order for this to happen you need to reconnect with your body by doing exercise, touching your whole body, massaging yourself, letting someone else touch you etc etc... The erection will come when you feel good about yourself, relaxed and turned on. It will not come by command.

    These are just some thoughts man, wish you the best. I would love to see your progress.
     
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  17. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    It was a friend.
     
  18. Ihateflatlines

    Ihateflatlines Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, man. Quite an interesting perspective.

    How long had you been rebooting before you reintroduced sex?

    Your account reminded me of my past relationship. When I started trying to have sex, I wasn’t ready and couldn’t perform. However, by spending a lot of time being intimate with my ex, I made remarkable progress at the time. My problem then was that I would waste my time on P-subs on the side (especially at the beginning I wasn’t able to have sex, but got constantly aroused, so I needed some form of release). I’ve always thought that, if I just didn’t fuck up with P-subs, I would have been healed quite some time ago (and that relationship may have gone differently, but that’s another story).

    It may work this time, though. Hopefully, I’ve learned from my past mistakes.

    Honestly, what was stopping me from trying sex with this new girl was having to share my story (I did in my past relationship and that was ok, but it’s though). I may come up with an alternative story (like you did), although I think I’ll have to come clean if I keep seeing this girl.

    The other thing is that I have some mutual friends with this girl (she’s actually quite close to a friend of mine) and the idea that she may share details of what happens with them doesn’t really excite me. I trusted my ex with this little secret of mine at the time, but are still not 100% sure she didn’t share with at least one friend, especially after the breakup (which was, in part, due to my pied).
     
  19. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I've had precum while talking to men (I'm gay and fine with it) and had some movement down there very rarely while talking to men in real life. But not much.

    It seems to me that it's PIED/flatline.
     
  20. thel00ker

    thel00ker Fapstronaut

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    Man I admire the fact that you share the porn addiction problem with other people. For me it was always a very private issue and didn't feel the need to share it with anyone else, I simply said I had anxiety issues and that was true.
    P subs are just the same as P, They'll make you lose interest and desire on your partner, avoid anything sexual that comes from a screen or magazine. Good thing you could make progress with your ex.

    If I were you I would simply not tell the whole truth. If the ED problem shows up simply say "sorry, sometimes when I have sex I feel huge pressure to perform and that anxiety ruins my erection and turn on. Please bear with me I really like spending time with you and I don't want this to be a problem for us"
    Simply saying somethingg around those lines solved it for me.
    I think I was around 70-80 days when I reintroduced sex.
     

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