NoFap 90 Day Challange

Day 1:
Porn and masturbation have destroyed my life.They have destroyed me physically and they have even destroyed my spirit.The body can be dealt with but it would be extremely hard to heal my spirit.
I have tried everything meditation, mindfulness, notes,raw willpower,cold showers,rubber bands,distraction methods.You fucking name it I have tried it.
The biggest harm of porn and masturbation is that I can't feel any emotion neither happiness nor sadness, neither excitement nor nervousness.I can't even control my life.I don't even know when I will fap again no matter how much dangerous the situation is.
I am just taking this challenge and I don't even have a proper plan.
But I will beat this addiction.Somehow someway.

 

Day 2:
I made a proper plan and I took the "tamed"course on YouTube and now I am pretty sure of this now that you can't break habit but you can replace it.
And now I am focusing on building my reading habit and I am doing it with a proper cue and reward system.
I am also using the good old mental notes and I am taking it one urge at a time.It works significantly well.
A certain type of habit by which you improve other areas of a life is called a keystone habit and reading is one of them.
And the reason of this that trying to build a habit of reading increases takes will power which is like a muscle and gradually it will increase so when you start to build another habit it will be much easier.
And I am fighting urges through mindfulness and notes
I am gonna keep continuing my reading habit.
And I hope one day I will feel excited about something again like a little kid does.
Roger

 

Day 4:

I don't write everyday unless I have some goodand decent amount of information.
So it's going really well.I am tackling the urges through mindfulness.I am building my reading habit and it is really helping me change my life and improve myself.
Currently I am on vacations from school so my only problem is that I have so much time I don't know what to do.I don't want to read in that time because it can lead to overflow of information.
So it would be really helpful for me if you have some good suggestions on how I can use that time productively.
I also had a boost in my energy levels but it's not something that big because they have gone from low to normal not from normal to high.
Yeah my energy levels are just that normal.
That's all folks

 

Day 15:
I haven't called or watched porn for fifteen days now.But this hasn't been easy at all.These days have been the worst days of my life.I became nihilistic. I had anxiety attacks.Suicidall thoughts and severe severe depression.
They have decreased but still some of these things remain in some extent.I actually surprisingly didn't had too much urges to fap.Because I became so nihilistic that I wanted to do nothing.
But still I kept on going with my book reading habit and still do.
I still have some depersonalization problems.But at least for now I have something to be proud of.My libido is higher than before but not that kind of high where it should be.
At least now I have something to be proud of for a full lifetime that's for sure.
I am also planning to set some physical goals.
I had some unimaginable spiritual pain in these days it wasn't that medical type of depression but my family supported me in this tough time (although they didn't know about NoFap).
But these things had some good effects too.

1. I stopped taking life for granted.
2. I had something to be proud of.
3. I appreciated my family much much much more.

That's all I have to say folks.