NoFap and Life Goals

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by SolitaryScribe, Oct 23, 2017.

  1. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    So I want you guys to post what kind of goals you hope to achieve with nofap. I'm going to write down my list of short term and long term goals, and I'd love to hear what you guys hope to achieve as well.

    Short Term Goals
    1. Reconnect with God
    2. Grow spiritually
    3. Meditate more (10 minutes per day)
    4. Waste less time on the internet (2 hours max per night)
    5. Read more spiritual books (5 pages per night)
    6. Increase time in solitude (long walks in nature on Saturdays)
    7. Work on my commitment issues and social issues.

    Long Term Goals
    1. Get rid of the lease for my car
    2. Move out (preferably to a different city)
    3. Cut off all obligations to society
    4. Travel and visit Japan
    5. ...
    There's probably more long term goals when I think of them I'll let you know.
     
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  2. Dake1963

    Dake1963 Fapstronaut

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    Great list. What I have learned from this journey is something I read in a Hindu religious book (although I am not religious). It was something like 'not craving sex and not masturbating is a necessary step, but it is not the goal. The goal is being conscious of God.' For me, having a list of life goals like you do is really important. For me, it would be (a) be nicer to people (b) learn more (c) travel more, and to do one little thing every day to work towards those goals (even if it is giving someone a smile, reading a page of a book, or saving money from not needlessly buying a coffee while out).
     
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  3. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Couldn't agree more with that saying. I believe that you don't necessarily need to be religious in order to be spiritual. They're two completely different things. Spirituality can be guided by religion, so we can use religion as a tool to help guide our spirituality. We can use religious books, sermons and even music to help us meditate and contemplate. I do strongly believe that spirituality is an essential part of our health and has a key role in our happiness! whether you're an atheist or agnostic or whatever.

    I'm an orthodox Christian, but I wouldn't consider myself religious. I really don't like that word. It insinuates that I follow a bunch of blind rules without really understanding why in hopes that one day I'll get to heaven, which is false. I believe my life as Christian is a life based on spirituality. The struggles I face everyday, I call "spiritual struggles". I'm aware of my reality that I'm not perfect, and my actions have certain consequences. My goal as a Christian isn't to go to heaven (that's a very shallow view). It's to better understand who I am, better understand God, Better understand the world around me, but most importantly is how to love.

    Modern society has misguided our view on what love truly is. I want to return to that original view of unconditional love that is spoken about in the bible. So to me, abstaining from sexual desires is one of the struggles I face on my journey to find what true love is.
     
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  4. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree the Bible is just more than a guide to salvation it is a tool that we need to bring ourselves together and understands gods plan is to bring love and ease the suffering going on in this fallen world
     
  5. Workout and keep fit...Achieve top grades
     
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  6. yes everything nice but "cut off all obligations to society"? sounds like "Into The Wild" amazing stuff but if you watched the movie until the end the guy who "cut off all obligations to society" died alone in the middle of a forest in Canada. that guy really existed in real life and that is exactly what happened to him. he cut contacts with other people off too. not a very fruitful investment

    The human being lives in society and needs to be in touch with other people. would you like to go live in a cave in the middle of nowhere? From which continent do you come from?

    for experience, even if you move away, that won't fix your issues. you gotta actively work on yourself. that is the only way that works 100%
     
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  7. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut


    lol funny you mention Into the Wild, it's actually my favourite movie. I'm not cutting off my obligations to society to run away from problems. I'm 31 years old, I've had enough life experience to know that running away only makes problems worse.

    I would cut off my obligations to society because I don't want to be tied down to anything or anyone. I'm not doing this to run away from people, I'm doing it so I can get an outside perspective on people. There was a moment in my life where I traveled to a certain country and was stuck there for 2 years. This country was fairly poor, and I had to live like a local. It made me question many things in my life. The prime thing it made me question was happiness. I know for a fact that nothing in society can give me true happiness, it's all fleeing. Even relationships can break apart over time and mean nothing.

    I'm on a journey, a quest to look for something that I'm not even sure what the something is.

    There is this monastery 4 hours up north where I currently live. They have a property of 350 acres of forests and lakes. That would be my starting point, I wont be 100% secluded, but I also wont starve to death. I've spent many weekends at that monastery and met a solitary up there as well. I used to love talking to him, he was extremely loving and wise.

    btw I'm Canadian
     
  8. TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

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    I suggest you focus just on one goal for a while. Or at least have a clear, structured plan on how you are going to implement all of those changes. It rarely works long-term to have so many hard goals at once.
     
  9. Troels. L

    Troels. L Fapstronaut

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    Try going for goals that are slightly harder to reach than you think, then you will grow, and still seem manageable :) goals that you know you can do, may be a good thing, you just don't leave your comfort zone
     
  10. so i suggest you to watch again these scenes from into the wild



    The moral of into the wild is that you must find happiness in living with others, the contact with others enriches you. living alone and travelling trying to find something you don't know, it won't. it will just make you more lonely and confused

    I think you are unhappy in your "real" life. "I know for a fact that nothing in society can give me true happiness, it's all fleeing. Even relationships can break apart over time and mean nothing." I see from these 2 sentences of yours, you are very bitter and have been hurt by someone you loved. everyone gets hurt in that sense

    what about your family? if everyone would just react like you and give up, what would happen to the world? Don't you have a job? people in their 30s start settling down, getting married, having kids. that is growing up, building something important. you gotta live in the real life. going to a monastery... why would u do that removing the fact you don't wanna become a monk? like, seriously
     
  11. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    I get where you're coming from... Many people are estranged by the concept of solitude. Why is that? I believe we often project on others what we think would make us happy. If you find comfort in others and happiness in intimacy, that's all well and good, but that doesn't mean that it's true for everyone else.

    Everyone has their calling.

    There is more to life than marriage and kids. I'm not belittling marriage, but that's not our sole purpose of life. If you have all your hopes and dreams set on it, that may very well lead to misery if it didn't turn out how you pictured. Marriage isn't the key to happiness, because if it was you wouldn't have all these broken marriages and people absolutely miserable. Neither is human interaction the key to happiness. While it is important for personal development and it helps to keep you grounded, it isn't our ultimate goal.

    On that note I never claimed that I wanted to be 100% alone. I would still keep in touch with the monks at the monastery, they wouldn't let me live there without doing some work for them form time to time :p

    On a personal level: I have many friends that I adore, I consider them more like brothers, I also come from a very big family with many siblings. Granted my folks didn't have the best marriage (who does?), but I wouldn't say I was ever hurt by anyone. I've been in many relationships where I did consider marriage... but it ultimately leaves a sinking feeling in my gut as to whether this is actually going to make me happy...

    Paul himself said: "I wish all people were like me, but each has a particular gift from God: one has this gift, and another has that one. I’m telling those who are single and widows that it’s good for them to stay single like me. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should get married, because it’s better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Cor 7: 7-8

    And again: "I want you to be free from concerns. A man who isn’t married is concerned about the Lord’s concerns—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the world’s concerns—how he can please his wife." 1 Cor 7: 32-33

    I'm not advocating for everyone to be single. This is more of a spiritual journey for me, I am willing to forgo the joy of marriage and "human" intimacy to reach a love and intimacy that's deeper.

    There are three important facts we need to keep in mind(regarding human intimacy):
    - There are those who want intimacy and get it
    - There are those who want intimacy but never do get it
    - And then there are those who don't want intimacy, but are looking for something else.
     
  12. got it. u wanna be a monk, ok
     
  13. Yaakov

    Yaakov Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm.

    For me short term goals are:

    1. Being back in recovery (No porn, Masturbation). START FROM 3:33am
    2. Limit my time on the internet (1.5 hours hours).
    3. Pray daily and read spiritual writings.
    4. Go to bed at a reasonable time (no later then 11pm)
    5. Read MORE (was thinking of buying the Lord of the rings box set)

    Long term

    1. Be pure and free from this addiction!
    2. Be more sociable!!!!
    3. Get married and start a family
    4. Stop judging myself against others!!
    5. Go back to school\uni and make something of my life (might even add this to my short term goal).

    Thanks for this great reminder!!!
     
  14. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Interesting enough, I've completed all those goals except for the travelling to japan one. I don't care so much anymore to travel to japan
     
  15. Vir Rex

    Vir Rex Fapstronaut

    Hey SolitaryScribe,

    Ever since I started NoFap I have become increasingly estranged from secular society and the life it is trying to force us all to live. I thought I would have been a politician, a lawyer, or a forester by the time I graduated from college but now I desire none of those jobs. What I want now is to worship GOD and investigate all the mysteries that HE has left for us to answer; this would mean becoming a monk. I have over $26,000 in student loans and obligations to my friends and family. Right now, I feel burdened by trying to balance all these new needs and responsibilities that I have. I wish I could go back to enjoying secular forms of entertainment but they don't satisfy me anymore.

    So my question to you is have you been able to resolve this existential problem? If so, what should I consider while I am on this path?
     
  16. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Personally I'm not qualified to answer these questions for you, you would need to talk to your local perish priest. However I can tell you what I would do from my own experience.

    Firstly, you need to make sure you pay off all of your debts. No monastery will accept you if you owe money. The first thing I did when I graduated and started a new job was focus on paying off all of my student loans and making sure I don't open new ones. Make sure that you don't have any relational for financial ties to society. They will also not accept you if you are running away from any particular situation, they will also not accept you if you do not have a job.

    Second thing I would recommend is to visit any monastery near you, talk to the abbot about your desires. He will be the best person to help guide you on your journey. If you visit the monastery often you will taste the monastic life.

    I'm currently in the process of living part time at a monastery. I guess you can say I'm in the postulate stage. I'm hoping that within this year I can join the monastery full time as a novice.

    Lastly I would recommend that you read a lot of books about monasticism and the monastic life. There are great Catholic and Orthodox books that you can choose from.
     
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