Nofap and Premature Ejaculation? Please help.

You’ll have to excuse the graphic and detailed nature of this post. I’m struggling with this issue and need some sold advice and guidance. It has to do with PE. More specifically, it has to do with edging, nofap and PE. Again, potential trigger language ahead.

Let’s set the stage. I’m 43 and have been PMO’ing in some form or another since my teens. Over the past two years, my PMO became so rampant that I began to suffer PIED. Getting hard to P was easy but not so much with my wife.

Because of my age, I don’t believe I have a strict addiction to P – but more an addiction to MO. High speed P just allowed me to MO much more quickly. In January of this year, I started a PMO recovery journey. I’ve been on this journey for almost five months and my life has been transformed on many levels. For the most part, P is a distant memory. I have slipped a few times with MO during this time but I feel I have made tremendous strides in “curing” ED and repairing my marriage (my two primary goals of my nofap journey).

I am pleased to say that nofap has resulted in a massively improved sex life. But unfortunately, I’m plagued with PE. I put this down to my MO habits of 25 years and my ability to edge for hours.

Before I started my nofap journey, I had mastered edging. I had mastered getting to within a few seconds (or one stroke) of that point of no return (PONR) really quickly and being able to ride that wave for hours. To put it bluntly, I was able to get hard (usually but not always to P) and get myself to within one stroke of ejaculation in less than a minute. I work in an office by myself (I’m self-employed) so it was easy to do this for basically hours. Getting to that point, backing off and slowing down as needed; rinse and repeat. It’s almost like I knew I needed 31 strokes (no, I didn’t count, just using that number as a point of reference) to get to that point and was able to stop at 30, back off a bit and ride that dopamine wave… for hours. All the while, I was able to stop at 30 (again, not a real number just saying I was able to perfectly control my O by stopping and slowing down as needed). I’d be clicking various tabs looking for that “perfect” P clip to allow myself to get to 31 and finish. I could give myself a few hours to regroup and be back on the saddle a few hours later.

That was the old me. I don’t PMO anymore. Only a couple of relapses since January and my current stretch is 20 days. I’m not doing hard mode and my sex life has exploded since I started nofap. Edging has been a challenge since the start of my recovery but not nearly as bad.

In virtually every case, my PE means sex with my wife is over in less than a minute. My wife is not thrilled about this but figures PE is much better than ED. BTW – she has no idea of my PMO addiction or nofap commitment – personal decision to take this addiction to the grave.

Here’s the thing. Since my nofap journey began, my confidence has soared. I’m able to get hard and have very little performance anxiety (hallmarks of my former PMO life). But my body is so used to getting to that pre-PONR so quickly (as in 20 seconds) and my wife doesn’t want me to stop. When I do, she’s gets annoyed. She likes fast sex. I’ve pleaded that we slow down but she insists she doesn’t like it and thinks that I’m being selfish when I slow down (to not O). So, I have to go for broke and reach 31 strokes and I’m done in a minute. Bahh.

I’m tried various mental techniques but with minimal success. I was reading up about reverse Kegel exercises as some of the anecdotal evidence mirror my own experiences. This might be my next course of action.

If anything resonates with your own experiences with what I’ve said, I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspectives. In addition to talking to my wife, I’m looking for some practical advice and suggestions. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.