NoFap Aura real?

Guys I think this is really about the balance. Almost 10 years of being single did not made me wanting to be single forever. Nature always seeks the mean, and I find myself more and more hoping to find someone. After all this healthy living, developing yourself, grinding one really wishes to find a kindred soul. And they are out there, very rare, but it does happen. Also with age we tend to accept others more, and I do hope the universe will bring us whatever it needs so that we can fulfil our destines.

 

Re writing the comment as the website did not posted it, ouch.
I think this is simple. I refuse to be anyones savior, or a victim. I know that I cant save anyone, I can only save myself. I am also curious who I would be if I went into a relationship now, with this healthy approach with a more healthy female. We were all young and making mistakes in our 20s. Thats for what 20s are for, right? But life doesnt end up here, or even in the 50s or 60s... and people do not stop getting together and having sex either.

And women have this responsibility too, to save themselves. We can vastly influence them so can do the same to us, too.
Make sure we do not make the same mistakes again.

 

See? No one gives a fuck.
It seems like WAY too much work so that I can be someone I'm not just to be accepted. Not worth it.

 

dude its your life. nobody is going to come and save you from yourself.
only you can do it, only you can achieve something in life. hard work pays back but you need to become a man through the process.
its not that people do not accept you, its is YOU who does not accept yourself. thats why others dont feel attracted to you either.

everything is connected.
nobody owns you anything man.
and you dont owe anything either so if you are happy being a failure, keep being one. you can live like that until 50, its your choice.
either stop complaining and accept your misery, or change it.

 

This is what I mean. You think you're clever or virtue signaling or whatever by administering "tough love" (no such thing, btw). What you're really doing is probably catapulting someone to utter despair and an early grave.

 

Yeah, I am not doing anything like that buddy youre projecting your fantasy over me. I am simply telling you what works.
If wanking to porn or being sorry for yourself worked, I would tell you. I am living on this planet for longer than you, so I've probably made many more mistakes than you and learned through them.

Then youre going into shifting responsibility from yourself over to me (like I am responsible for anything what happens to you or what you decide to do)
I was trying to tell you what to avoid and that its only yourself who can save you - and then you go on and start telling me that I am doing something, that will have detrimental effect on you.
You have some sort of expectations you put on other people.
I wish you the best but I dont give a damn how you try to live your life.

But hey, I have yet to meet someone who did not put any work and it worked out for him at the end, maybe you will be the first.

Maybe you were just deprived of love or something, idk but still you need to figure it out yourself.
And btw, I've been through HELL in my childhood, up until I was 22yo, and then got 10 years of other struggles so dont tell me about living hard life buddy.
What I learned is that at the very end its always up to you.

Doesnt matter what you need to go through, how hard or how long you need to grind, or how many addictions u gonna need to go through and win.
Its your job as a man. No momma or daddy is going to come and save you from life. Nor a woman. Or a gay man.

Or anyone.

This is what it means to be a man and you do it step by step, you can show some respect to your older brothers and listen what they are telling you because
most of us been there, done that.

You might not like what we say, you might not understand this, or might not want to accept this - but it doesnt change anything.
Your life still sucks, and nothing changes.

Only you can change something so stop being sorry for yourself and figure it out. Do a plan, do something.

 

I haven't posted on this thread before, but I'll give my 2 cents.
To be blunt, I think the "nofap glow" or "nofap aura" is 100% nonsense. I was on day 230, did not experience any of that. What I did experience was freedom from PMO slavery, improvement in my physicality and other aspects of life.

I'd go a step further and say that those are actually bad for this movement. Why? Because instead of highlighting very important benefits such as better health of individual and better collective health of society (freedom from the vices) people decide to hype up these fake benefits. (There's a million posts of OMG GUYS, THIS GIRL LOOKED AT ME FOR 0.000000001 SECONDS, SHE WANTS ME THANKS NOFAP).

This creates false expectations, and when new rebooters don't necessarily experience them, they get discouraged. Also, it makes the community look like a bunch of pseudoscientific nuts, which doesn't help our PR in the face of potential converts.

 

Blah, blah, blah. More virtue signaling. I didn't need to hear your life story and how much tougher you allegedly had it. Keep that shit to yourself.

 

This.

 

The glow or aura isn't about girls/women. It's about when you look into the mirror after a long retention streak. Your skin is smooth, clearer, shining. You feel more confident; people respect you more, trust you more, respond to you better (all aka aura). I didn't mention girls here.

 

That being said, it's about a balance within me too. Raw masculinity is one thing, but I've been suppressing and stifling my emotions, and they come out some way or another later on down the line. And they don't come out well.

Men are often shamed or disdained for expressing vulnerability and emotions. Popular census is that women get turned off by that. But fuck that - if I were to get with a woman, she'll have to accept and admire that I choose to express emotions sometimes, because I don't want to get a heart attack at 45 from suppressing shit for too long.

 

the fact you havent experienced something doesnt make it not true buddy
it has nothing to do with science or pseudoscience
and scientism is very bad for humanity nowadays.

the thing you mentioned about a girl looking at a guy - agreed, this is just different. after nofap men simply have the courage to look people into the eye and
beforehand they werent even noticing that other people were noticing them e.g. other girls.

with that being said, you might simply not be sensitive enough to more subtle energies and thats okay. but
these things do exist, are real and theres nothing shocking in them. I am still surprised people are so hesitant to understand we arent just physical bodies, we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. one influences the other.

 

well I hoped you would react with maturity, but then you just proved my point. youre young, inexperienced, and expecting the world to bow to you because you did or did not something. thats not how this works.
anyway, I will stop responding to you here as youre closed to any kind of helpful argument from older brothers.

live your life and find your happiness, be well and byebye.

 

agreed, we are human beings. I think with men its more about not being overwhelmed with emotions. you often see MMA fighters crying after a battle, its a short but needed release. its normal.

with that being said, what particular ways of expresing emotions you have found been working for you best?

 

Don't need a "brother" like you.

 

Thanks for the question. It's actually a figuring-out process at the moment. It feels sometimes I have to all-out endure a situation (e.g. work, a bad environment) even if my anxiety shrieks within. Perhaps that's a throwback from when we lived on savannahs and were trying not to get eaten, or had to guide a band of people through difficult terrain.

It's also about a safe place, or safe person to express emotions with; for now, for me, at least. My safe space is my solitude; I let myself shed tears for certain things that went wrong in my life. Like you said with the MMA dudes, I eventually become my stoic, deliberate self again.

I think it's important to find a union between the two; synchronous. Co-existence. In certain situations and with certain people I can do this. This is the most challenging state to acquire, in my view. Total emotionality reminds you of the importance of masculine stoicism, while total stoicism reveals the importance of expressing emotions - like you said - up to a certain point. It takes a long time to get to this point; the road to it is arduous. You can't have certain situations in your life (e.g. work/responsibilities) and say fuck it, I'm going to be my emotional self today. You'll mess up a lot of things. And you can't say you're going to go all stoic and deliberate either, which brings me back to the topic of this thread, i.e. the aura. Yes, I am a quick-thinking, high-energy, fluid-moving, attention-attracting boss in this mode, but I feel my humanity is being sacrificed. Or vulnerability. I don't like the way some folks seem nervous/intimidated by my presence, or how my nice-guy mentality (which was used/abused throughout my life) has to be suppressed due to me being in aura-mode. Life has shown me that a male shouldn't be a nice guy because people take advantage of him, but really: it's the assholes who are at fault, not me. I guess it's like evolution: environmental pressures create a new organism from a previous one. It's a fucking arduous process; many creatures don't make it. You have to be the one that does. Even if you choose not to reproduce, the child within you is still there, and you have to protect it and, I argue, find a union with it. That's what I'm in the process of doing. Hard as hell, and I hope it brings me goodness.

 

I respect your spiritual viewpoints. I was pointing out how it's cringe when people do nofap to attract women, and hype up every. single. microinteraction with women. I've even made this mistake, where I misunderstood a woman's friendliness for attraction.

Also to reiterate my previous point, there's people who don't get those "social benefits", so talking about the "aura" like gospel discourages others in the community.

Plus, to get more confidence and charisma, you need to learn and practice, simply not fapping for 70 days isn't necessarily going to boost that.

 

I don't know you in real life, but certain body languages can cause fear in others.

 

You are right, its the assholes fault - but then, they are there and life is full of them anyway.

So you can either be prepared and be protected or suffer the consequences because at the end of the day does it matter who's fault it was if it is you going home with a broken nose ? (just an example ofc)

Also, I remember reading somewhere that women actually have more sex with typical beta-dudes (easier to control and manipulate) than typical alphas.
but I wouldnt say this kind of aura makes me an alpha (maybe subconsciously, but I dont want to be an alpha, its too much of a burden - so Im more of a sigma type if anything)

I dont resonate well with being a beta, that is just far to weak for my default mode. Or perhaps I was one for too long in my early 20s
both women and men took advantage of me, so that is it. world is cruel.
you need to be strong, most of the bullies are weak. so they wont touch you when they realize youre stronger than them.
and you can also protect the weaklings. because being strong doesnt mean being an asshole. at least not for me.

 

Yeah I get it. But then, this energy this is my very reality and I tested and double tested it across 7-8 years... so I know its true. I cannot NOT talk about it either.
its an integral part of who I am now.

I think I am the case where going for 70-80 days actually gives me that confidence and charisma, I guess the possible explanation is that I was SEVERELY addicted to porn
and was VERY VERY VERY badly addicted to orgasms and masturbation. I was probably having like 20 orgasms per day when in my 20s. Instead of dating girls and honing my romance skills I wasted my best years to porn. If I regret anything, its that. But then, perhaps it was so that I can learn and overcome it and build something in my later years, who knows?

So maybe simply being normal me with healthy strong energy levels gives me this. Maybe others werent as depleted so the diff for them is smaller
that would make some sense, no?