NoFap Aura real?

Really interesting question actually.

You know just recently having dropped the ball, after a good streak too (trust me i hate myself lol) - I thought as we all do "Well the effects are all gone now, no more attraction" etc.
However, strangely one day after the relapse this chick at the drive through at McDonald's gave me this look. My god man it was unmistakeable, I won't detail what I think that look truly was for fear of trigger warning lol. And I'm thinking, uhh - what the fuck? Am I not supposed to be back down in the dregs, the sewers of pathetically unnoticed and unimportant nothingness?

Anyhow, my mindset flicked to "wow she is absolutely gorgeous, I might have to grab a coffee here more often...maybe even ask her out"
Honestly? That only happened after the relapse, so going back to your question perhaps it is in those softer states of mind that we open the door of opportunity to relations, and in our retention we are the watchers, the keepers of the seed.

It is my belief that while we're all here to march, fiercely and unwaveringly focused - balance is the key to a good life. This is particularly dangerous however, as the suggestion would not be to relapse and forfeit that goal of retention - but how to allow that softer vulnerability out to lean toward possibilities of relations. Hmm....

 

It definitely is a tough one, and I too am beginning to wonder if balance is really the key here - because, often, it feels as if the "soft" part of me is the one indeed upkeeping and maintaining my Energy when the latter seems like it cannot independently do it. And perhaps that is indeed the role of a female in a relationship (to support the man when he is exhausted). I do think that I was so adamant on protecting and retaining my seed that I thought that soft part of me was a weakness - and it is - and needed to be shut out. Perhaps, as you said, we need to risk exposing that "soft" part when deciding, after some personal development and confidence-building, to ask a woman out.

But I do feel we have to be careful who we allow that vulnerability with. Many girls will absolutely crush and stamp on it, few will nurture it. Most of my life has been the former; from my own relatives, to previous gfs. And so you must be in Energy/Aura-mode to choose a woman for you, I suppose. But even that can go wrong....that's where a lot of people decide to live by themselves and be single.

I think, perhaps, that so very few of us have arrived at the pinnacle of our being, our apex best (aka the 1%), that we don't even know what we are capable of or who we can truly have by our side.

Regarding your McD experience...I don't necessarily feel like a relapse after a long streak negates any attention/attraction from women. I think we're projecting how we feel about relapsing. We may feel shaky and shitty, but all that energy buildup from before doesn't just dissipate, not to mention the confidence we gained.

 

your responses are very emotional and impulsive.
I sense you have plenty of anger inside of you.

I am not offended by your writing, I am trying to help you find the cause of your suffering.

 

See, this is just a nickname. I don't consider this to be important. Do you think I am a big ball of fire?

There is a difference from eating cookies and snickers and eating an apple or a potato.

So tell me what youre doing here, if you tried not having orgasms for so long and it did not worked out for you?
Are you watching porn and wanking daily by now?

I dont get it.
Look, my sexual energy was super high when I was 23.
I need to have 5-6 orgasms every day brother.
It did not matter if I had them with girls or with porn, I had so much energy.

I could not imagine not doing that or not having orgasm for the amount of days you listed. Its almost impossible for a person so young because your natural energy reserves are much higher.

So you either be honest with yourself and us and tell the real story or there is no point.
Because there is a massive gap in your story, youre not telling us everything.

 

I'm telling you the truth. I went about eight months without PMO because I distracted myself with other things. If you want to refuse to believe that based on your own life as a 23 year old, that's on you.

 

Okay. There is perhaps one solution. You are a virgin, so your energy channels are sort of ''closed'' due to this because you never been with a girl.
But you have no problems reaching orgasms, right? You can do it ''alone''. So idk if this would be the answer.

When I started having sex I was younger than you, but not much. And I was not able to maintain erection. A girl had to give me like 15 minutes oral for me to finally have orgasm. It felt like a very big channel became open.

So maybe this is it for you, idk.

Cant you just go a high profile escort girl, really high profile, clean and pay her well and make it a date, a whole night. Not just 30minutes. So that you both enjoy it and she could open you up?

 

It takes time. For me its usually around a week before the energy levels go down (after the orgasm). Also, after one somehow girls can sense you recently had a sexual release. Especially when you sleep with someone. So this might attract them more (for a bit of time afterwards). Maybe pheromones also play a role here.

There is some sort of submissivity when a male starts thinking about being with a girl IN A RELATIONSHIP.
Its a cool feeling, but then I remember how every relationships are ending and always choose to grind more days and remain sober on my masculinity.

If a girl wants something from me, it has to be her idea.

 

Can I ask you what were those ''other things''?
And another question, so what is your problem then?

Why are you here?
What do you want to achieve?

 

I'm not going to pay people for sex. Full stop.
Yes, I have no problem getting hard and reaching orgasms.
I have never been with a girl. The closest I've been to having sex was when a gay guy I knew gave me a blowjob.

 

Other things were just getting outside and engaging in non-sexual activities. It was a matter of willpower for the first month or so, then it became easy for me. The only reason I stopped and fell back into the PMO "game" is because I was bored one day and decided to do it again. That was a mistake on my part.
The reason I am here was to try to get help on an issue I was having.

 

truth! you know it all bro.
I believe that ourselves believing a female will support us in moments of exhaustion/weakness is our fantasy
they support when we are strong (by providing this relaxing feminine energy that melt our stress away but we need to be in our masculine for this to work)

you got this right, look for a female thats feminine, nurturing. not toxic or damaged. perhaps if 1-5% men know the seed retaining secret, in modern times only 0.1% females know how to be females... but its okay. Universe always helps us. And I got my own share of crazy girlfriends in the past. Now I see that if I was strong with them, I would never allow
any BS to happen. We all learn. Life is rarely fair. Then, nowadays I need to really be impressed with a girl to even start willing to risk of being with her in relationship.

I fantasize about it often, though. Its a human thing, we arent made to be lonely. Albeit being alone is fine, its not loneliness.

Maybe a dog would solve our problems?

Evryone can hide who they really are for the first 3-4-5-6 months in relationship I think. How many stories we heard that a guy got divorce-raped and lost everything after 2-3 years into ''perfect'' marriage.

One thing for sure, the stronger and more masculine we are, the better. More respect.
Notice how pretty women usually get some super weak beta who thinks he won a lottery.
He is clueless she took him as her personal entertainer and a pet and shes probably fkn some alphas behind his back.

Sad... so yeah. I prefer peace of mind and respect from ''love'' and submissivity.
Thats just my nature.

It hurts sometimes, I also dream about having a perfect relationship but this is a fantasy. Reality is just that, harsh and very rigid.

Relapsing or having an O doesnt kill everything in us, but that depends how many times, with whom, and how (drunk, sober, etc)

 

Fair, I respect that. I am not saying this is the ''perfect'' solution. Its far from it. But, in some cases, its better than watching a man reaching 40yo and still being a virgin (I know youre not planning that)

That gay experience- how was it?
Why you did it?
You were so desperate to have some sort of human contact?

Why do you thnk girls dont like you? Do they perceive you as a Bisexual perhaps?

Look, one thing for sure.
Masculine attracts feminine.
become one and it will bring the other to you as a magnet. Youre still very young. When I was 23 I was clueless however I thought I got it all sorted out

 

I'll still be a virgin at 50, dude.
The "gay" experience was done, as you said, for the human contact.

Girls don't like me because I'm not an empty-headed dipshit like most guys my age, I don't have great looks, and I don't have money. It's not about them perceiving me as "bi" or anything, since no one ever would suspect that I leaned that way.

 

Great way of perceiving your potential. I heard something recently in a podcast that "if you feel like you should be more - achieve more - command more respect " then don't doubt it, you have your mission the moment you feel you're not enough. So then you journey on to being closer to that ideal. Obtain more of those precision tools to truly refine your "build quality"

The thing is that your expectation of yourself will only grow as time goes by, but if you keep hitting the marks you set and growing toward that ideal - your current state in 5 years will enormously exceed who you might have been if you didn't take action of those thoughts of unworthiness. Does that make sense?

I actually think its so fucking cool to look back on life and think about all the great achievements we've made and journies we've been through in life. Every single person living and breathing on this planet is interesting if you would just listen to their story. Whats funny is we sometimes forget to even listen to our own story.

 

I'm pretty messed up too - what I tend to be attracted/attached to is often to my detriment. For example, you're right that feminine nurturing and submissiveness deserves our reciprocal energy, but I tend the get attached to the "broken/damaged" women because they provoke an arguably greater and deeper sentiment than romance, which is compassion. Beneath the brokenness and animosity they sometimes show, I see an innocent little girl done wrong by the world. I fucking hate that part of me, because it is never a smooth ride, and I never end up having LTRs with them. The timing is just never right with them and me. I had a feminine submissive nurturing girl, who gave me total respect, acceptance and admiration, but I was too attached to aforementioned broken girl to give the former a real chance.

I'm just not relationship material. My last successful relationship was in my very late teens/early 20's, and I was a huge simp/beta. Yes, the girl was good to me, because we were that young (and therefore naive) and she was a good person. But when I realized that I lost myself in that relationship, I went my own way.

Relationships aren't natural. They're a modern concept. No one can define it, no one knows how to fully function in one, yet they all want it.

 

It definitely makes sense. I've achieved a lot in the past 5 years, no doubt. Retention and nofap was difficult, and I relapsed from time to time, and did regret not giving a certain girl a relationship. But if I look at what I accomplished in terms of my mission, I did well. I don't think I would have accomplished as much were I in a relationship. My mission is a creative, spiritual, transcendent pursuit however, and the human part of me regrets losing the girl because it would have been a real-life, human, earthy experience. The latter is where women tend to reside, but unfortunately where men lose themselves for the worse.

 

Hmm. I'm not so sure about that last part. I actually believe men to be the more grounded gender. Logical, less emotional and organised. Whereas females, more transient and fluid. The balance being men keep women from floating into fantasy land but women allow men a playful and fun perspective so as not to be purely militant.

No matter the opinion on where one needs to be to facilitate a functional relationship, there 100% needs to be an acknowledgement that the "honeymoon phase" will end. It's at that point that the next phase has to become something of a business arrangement. Okay do we still like each other? Do we still connect sexually? Do we still compliment each others plans in life? Do we want to raise another human? It sounds daunting...because it is, but its one of life's many journies and it is undoubtedly risky.

I guess you could think that should your life be about awakening and spiritual acuity, just how much ( that you could gain from a relationship as an experience) would you miss out on if you didn't engage in further intimacy?

This topic honestly feels taboo sometimes, because of the hard-core nature some have about nofap - but fuck that noise, this is real...and relationships don't just go away because semen retention. We retain to achieve, to tap into the pure forceful energy that lights a fire in our hearts...and even that can be draining, ironically.

We should trust our gut. Not our minds when weak, not our heart when romantic. Our gut. If its something you want, then its something you want. Call a spade a spade.

We will die one day, and the complexes of the greater society around us are constructed like a game - the deepest truth is we are naked bloody monkies with egos that are almost unfit for purpose in the current modern state.

I reckon you've done bloody well mate, and utilise that intelligence yes but remember your humanity

 

Very profound post, BreaktheChains.

I'm trying - with everything that you posted, I'm trying to find equilibrium.

The past decade and a half of my life has been spent on spirituality and truth-seeking - I had been, during those years, adamantly against relationships, intimacy and even so much as looking at/flirting with women. But even that duration of time didn't make those longings disappear, even if it did bring me wisdom, creative success, progress in my mission and whatever intelligence you see.

So yes - trying to remember my humanity. Instead of immediately entering into meditation/detachment-mode today, I let myself grieve some things. Funny how when you - I - allow myself to be human, there is a million things you can feel at any given moment. No wonder monks seek to transcend that mess. But it has a beauty and savagery all at the same time, and that's our condition. That's what I meant by women being more life-oriented, or real-world oriented....they feel how they feel, they are emotionally-based. Always in flux. Mother Earth. Whereas men seek logic, transcendence, rationality. Father God. But you're right - in the right dynamic, the two complement each other.

Sincere thanks for your insight and commentary.

 

Did it provided that human contact you were looking for?

Look, your writing screams ''I am a failure, I'd be a virgin at 50'' and this is unattractive in itself. At least 2 things can be changed. Money can be obtained and looks can be improved with caring and styling. Plus, cosmetic surgeries if you really need them.

But instead having this kind of approach definitely doesnt bring anyone into your life buddy.
Women do not like empty-headed dipshit, they just react to confidence in males. Thats all. You dont need to be an asshole to be confident. But you can be a failure either way. Its up to you.

 

I think there is logic in this somewhat odd paradox. We are less emotional and more logical but that makes us more suspectible to strong emotions. Men are the real romantics. Women, opposed to that, are transient and fluid, not logical but that gives them the ability to swim in the sea of emotions. They feel everything few times more, granted, but at the same time are much more endurant to them. I wouldnt be able to have 15 relationships in a year, and ending up breaking up with people I'd be a mess. But if you are a woman you learn to swim through it all, so temporarily they appear emotional but if you experience constant emotions as high as them you also become accustomed to them.
This is their power.

We dont have this. We fall in love strongly and attach ourselves, and become weak. We are fragile.
We can only be made men, we arent born strong.
Woman is a woman. She is born one. Discovers who she is.
A man is born a boy. And can be casted and matured into a man. Or not. Theres no guarantee. Only hard work and dedication and discipline can do this.