Made it 3 days but then relapsed. I've been getting good sleep the past few days which is great but with good, deep sleep comes dreams, most of which become sexual after a while. Last night i kept dreaming of the webpage i usually go to for pornography and was dreaming about a specific pornstar I like, and sure enough when i woke up the urges got to me. I wish i didn't give so much power to these stupid urges.
5344 reporting, Weekend path. A research of bet time relationships. It was done for decade from our drill instructor. For me it's a trivia and obvious. The more pmo, the less intimacy. Regardless of the satisfaction in relationship, pmo happens. The only positive side I can think of, is controlling population. The trigger I encountered was some bathing suits. On a movie. I used camera focus method to evade, plus a starring at my own suits. Next time, I won't watch those movies. Most of them I found were too cliché. And too far from the reality. I'd rather study the cases. And the case study is done. Excuses for relapse. None of them will recover. Did some writing lectures. And transitioning too. It's always good to know what skills can be useful later. Will do covid combat training from this week. You can't imagine what is like to fight the war and the virus. All clear. Going silence.
https://nofap.com/faq/does-a-relapse-erase-your-porn-addiction-recovery-progress/ Right. But just remember while you're relapsing, others are rewiring and reconnecting.
Checking in back to day 1 after a longer than normal streak. After time in prayer about it and the divulging of my counted days in hell mode I have decided that my posts in this thread will have to be reeled in to less frequency. I will be involved in other threads including Athens Academy and Counting 3 Wins.
I am late to my party Safely returned from deployment, admiring my new medal and keeping up the abstinence. And I accept my new mission to mentor new recruits
Checking for hell mode day 47 Mood is still low, but I am getting better. Day by day flatline will pass
Day 96 Been procrastinating a lot since returning from deployment. Trying to get back into it and doing a small class from Bloom probably. They have a few 30 min ones that include small written assignments.
Been binging hard lately and procrastinating life responsibilities. The porn is really getting to me. It’s draining my energy which sends me to bed earlier, which is where I pmo. So I end up just sitting in bed for half the day periodically pmoing, it’s sad stuff. I’m gonna try and see if I can block myself out of pornographic stuff on iOS although last time I tried it, it was too easy to work around.
