Nofap could be just another form of escape...

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by lonxwolf, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    At least for me. Stop running away from your real problems by creating false problems. Face them right away, because you'll never know, when they will hit you at your back. What am I even saying.
     
    kropo82, WackinWolf and lolos like this.
  2. the alpha project

    the alpha project Fapstronaut

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    Can you elaborate a little on your thought? Because I think there is something here worth exploring a bit more.
     
    Ajikan likes this.
  3. One Mic

    One Mic Fapstronaut

    You mean in a social media sense or...?
     
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  4. itz_gioc

    itz_gioc Fapstronaut

    Wait...
















    Wut?
     
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  5. ClassicalTheist

    ClassicalTheist Fapstronaut

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    Vice is a problem in itself.
     
  6. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    You know, it could be just another trip for our bloated egos. I cant do this, so I'll do this. This looks easier and attractive too. Stuffs like that.
     
    lolos likes this.
  7. Ajikan

    Ajikan Fapstronaut

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    Are you saying porn isn't a real problem?
     
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  8. Little Bo Peep

    Little Bo Peep Fapstronaut

    You need to be less vague mate, especially with that title and all. It makes it sound like you’re saying doing NoFap is a bad thing.
     
    ANewFocus, lonxwolf and Ajikan like this.
  9. the alpha project

    the alpha project Fapstronaut

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    The thing that interests me here is the piece about facing real problems.

    Pmo is a problem.

    But it is also a symptom.

    From what I’ve seen, people who approach Nofap with the second perspective and take actions to address the underlying problems make greater progress than those who only count the number of days in their streak. This is not to suggest that there is no value in Nofap. There is. However it seems that the value is much improved when taking the second perspective and acting accordingly.
     
  10. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry. I am not that good at expressing my thoughts. What I am trying to say is, nofap could be just another form of escape. And I think I have used it like that. Counting nofap streaks, thinking that it'll make an overall improvement in my life failed. I am glad though, that it has made me aware of other problems that are connected with porn and masturbation. Sorry, english is not my language.
     
  11. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    I dropped porn (just a few weeks ago) and maybe it'll come back. I don't know. But I realize that, it is my repressed sexual thoughts that is driving me into it. It is those lies I have told myself about what I really feel. Now, I let them surface in me. They are horrible (at least for what I believe they are). I crave less with porn. Well, my point is, I think it is bad to say that porn is really the problem. It is your problem, that you are attracted to it. Knowing the reason of it, might be more beneficial. That's what I get from my own experience.

    I am not trying to propose anything to you. I am just expressing my thoughts. Sorry if you think it is inappropriate. Teach me.
     
  12. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    I noticed that I put wrong title. It is Nofap could be just another form of escape. What do you think?
     
  13. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Yeah I agree. Not just nofap but a lot of the 'self-improvement' talk on here. They are not facing they're real issues but they mask it by saying they are improving themselves with useless shit like homeworkouts, cold showers, 30 day challenges, etc.
     
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  14. lonxwolf

    lonxwolf Fapstronaut

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    I mean there is nothing wrong with it, but it does not work for everyone. Doing your own research and work is still what matters. What works for you, does not mean it'll work for others. I find useful stuffs for me. I hope you too.
     
  15. Little Bo Peep

    Little Bo Peep Fapstronaut

    What? How is trying to beat an addiction essentially “useless”? Those things you just said are self-improvement, if you’re sitting on your arse waiting for it to happen sure but these people are at least doing something about it.

    Shall we all just go to a money-grubbing therapist instead?
     
  16. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    I probably shouldn't have used the word useless. Some of those things can be beneficial to your life, but they will only get you so far. Where are you going to be in a year after taking cold showers, doing 50 pushups, situps and squats, meditating and not masturbating everyday? Sure, you will be in a better place mentally but you haven't really achieved a whole lot in the real world.

    I think you should set bigger goals, like I want to bench more every month, I want to talk to 1 person everytime I leave the house and conciously think about my social skills, I want to start investing money, I want to learn a new useful skill. The meditation and all the other little things should be a supplement to the bigger goals, meditating and doing pushups everyday should not be the end goal.

    Rather than going out and actually doing difficult things like deadlifting heavy weight, getting out of there comfort zone socially, spending time reading difficult things, getting rejected, they sit at home and procrastinate these hard things by doing 'self improvement'. Not only that, they rationalise it to themselves as important, like doing a 30 day ab challenge is going to magically solve all the problems in their life.

    I am going to put a big post up on the self improvement forum in the next few days talking about this.
     
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  17. Little Bo Peep

    Little Bo Peep Fapstronaut

    Well, while I don’t think you should just sit there and do nothing, what you’re saying people should be doing is personally subjective. I won’t argue that most of us probably procrastinate but I don’t think folks need to do all that, and if really depends on what you want out of life as well as what you wish to work on.

    When getting over an addiction we do and find what works best for us, by learning or doing hard things that doesn’t guarantee they’ll help either, like the ones you said were useless in the beginning. With addiction it’s almost entirely your thoughts that bring you down, so if anything, I would say people need to work on that as a priority.
     
    lonxwolf likes this.
  18. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    I am not saying people should be doing anything. I am saying that a lot of people have genuine issues for example they are overweight/underweight, not making much money, social anxiety, depression, internet addiction, porn addiction, or just in general they are not where they want to be in life. Rather than addressing these issues, which is going to be very difficult, they do shit like take cold showers, do nofap, do 50 situps everyday for 30 day challenges. Then they tell themselves that they are addressing the issue, when they are not.

    If you are a normal, healthy, person that wants to imrpove themselves then it will be a good idea to do cold showers, meditate, that kind of thing. But if you have a serious porn addiction, social anxiety, no job and very little friends, then you need to take different steps, like going to a psychologist, figuring out what causes your anxiety and addiction, developing practises do minimise these things, working on social skills, etc. Your focus shouldn't be on taking a 2 minute cold shower.

    I think we kind of agree. Of course different things are going to work for different people. But you see people on the self improvement forum that clearly have serious issues and are writing themselves a to-do list everyday that consists of pushups, shaving, meditating, taking a cold shower, updating their journal, and you never see them actually addressing the underlying issues. I think encouraging this 'self imrpovement' can even be harmful.
     
  19. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Yes it is. We used/uilize porn to escape from our reality. Same w alcoholics or drug addicts. Nofap is somewhat a sunstitution for that. But the difference is its not a negative mechanism like porn is.

    But it CAN be not good. Its best to face the core reasons youre unhappy with your realty. But id ratger be addicted to a mobile site versus pornography
     
  20. Little Bo Peep

    Little Bo Peep Fapstronaut

    That doesn’t make sense though. They’re still improving themselves, why do you have to be “healthy” in order to do those things? Anybody can benefit from doing those regardless and any small thing can amount to bigger things eventually.

    If you’re addicted to porn any step in a different direction is an achievement, like with procrastination you don’t want to start big or do a lot of things at once, otherwise that’ll backfire and leave you worse off and unmotivated.

    Meditation and changing your negative thoughts around should be a priority in my opinion, those two things were the biggest help in every addiction I’ve had.
     

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