Nofap could be just another form of escape...

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. lolos

    lolos Temporarily Suspended

    Yes, on the surface they are improving themselves. I agree that meditating and changing negative thought patterns is incredibly important not just at beating addictions but in general. I also think that initially, if you are trying to come out of a big rut, it can be helpful to do small things that will create a positive feedback loop and lead to you doing bigger things.

    But if you have been focusing on cold showers, stretching, meditating and reading everyday for a year, and that's it, you are procrastinating working on your bigger issues. That is my issue, these things aren't neccesarily bad by themselves, but it is easy to tell yourself you are improving when really you are just doing the same shit day to day because you are to afraid, or lazy, or whatever to take the next step.

    Another problem with these things is no one asks why. Why meditate? Why take cold showers? Sure, every now and then there is a thread on why mindfulness is important, or why cold showers boost testosterone, but that's not why they do it. People come to this forum with problems, they see other people doing things like cold showers, home workouts, and think that is the right thing to do to solve the problems. A year later, they are the same person, but now they have a strong tolerance to the cold and can do 50 situps. Again, the underlying issue is never addressed.
    revitalize likes this.
  2. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

    Summary of this reply in 3 sentences:
    Judge your journey by how you look at whamen and how you feel about yourself. The Day counter can be 500+ days and you can still be lust filled.
    Showering with cold water, 30 day challenges etc... hmm good if you're a beginner, Go for it.
    In the end, its you who will determine who you are. Not some website's day counter.
    Long Answer:
    As a Fapstronaut who is approaching 200 days streak here are my thoughts:
    Nothing matters.
    Nobody would give a fuck to you. Go and get it.
    I don't have hot water at home. I take cold showers even when it's raining outside.
    I also did the 30 day pushup challenge, Amazing Results in my strength.
    Cold showers: Not so effective as I'm used to it.
    I stopped giving a fk about my day counter like within the first week of my journey.
    I have done this journey before and I knew the day counter is just a myth. What you should be judging your nofap journey is "Do you feel good compared to the fapper life?"
    I was depressed at 30-50 days of nofap.
    I know it wasn't a good phase but I knew fapping isn't going to make it any better.
    I stayed in there, joined a gym and now I don't give a fuck about the people in my class. They try to make fun of me but idc.
    The sad part is the shirt that has always been oversized for me is tight af now. Pretty uncomfortable as it isn't cotton or polyster type shirts.
    icebreaker polarstern likes this.
  3. Ajar

    Ajar Fapstronaut

    Or maybe you're just waiting until you're in a better mindset to deal with a problem that you couldnt deal with in your previous mindset due to not only your environment working against you, but also your physical biochemistry working against you...
    revitalize and Deleted Account like this.
  4. What are these "underlying issues"? It sounds as we would have some strange, hidden secrets deep in our subconscious that are responsible for our mistakes.
    I don't believe so.
    At least my issues are more like overlying issues: they lay on the top of the good things, blocking them. They lay there in the open where I can see them and sometimes others see them too.
    Yes, it's difficult to deal with them. And often I evade, avoid or use coping mechanisms. But that doesn't mean my issues would be mysteriously hidden.

    When you can replace porn with this forum, for me that counts as success. When you replace porn with this forum plus porn (constantly relapsing), that's not so good but still much better than not dealing with the problem. For an addict that's the first step.
    Can the use of this forum can become a problem? Can it be too much?
    Of course it can. There's actually a term for it: addicted to recovery.
    Besides this is as addictive as any other social media site.
    Look at @Little Bo Peep's story. She was hooked to this site and neglected her boyfriend, until she realized that issue.
    But imho it is still 1000 times better to use this site for, say, 3 hours a day than watch porn for 3 hours a day, which has much worse consequences!
    Sawako Kuronuma likes this.
  5. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    Haha, I agree with you a bit OP.

    I had an ex-girlfriend who watched dozens of self-improvement videos and motivational-type shit each day, like she was addicted to them. But she didn't do anything in her fucking life. Just watched motivational videos and read posts and shit. Come to NoFap for support, but a forum is not life. I'm fixing to move away from this shit too, it can get addicting.

    Like other said, obviously the idea of NoFap is not a bad one, but spending hours on this site is a bad thing. I was doing that for a long time.
    goodnice 2.0 and Deleted Account like this.
  6. I made this thread:
    "Counting in weeks" Challenge for Active Recovery in 2020
    to combine a recovery challenge with this idea: don't come here too often and focus on recovery work and real progress not on chatting.
    I really need this! And I think others too.
  7. Nothing matters or Nothing Else Matters?

    So close, no matter how far
    Couldn't be much more from the heart
    Forever trusting who we are
    And nothing else matters

    Never opened myself this way
    Life is ours, we live it our way
    All these words I don't just say
    And nothing else matters

    Trust I seek and I find in you
    Every day for us something new
    Open mind for a different view
    And nothing else matters
  8. Submariner

    Submariner Fapstronaut

    I think I know what you are saying. I use NoFap as a tool to work on my 'problems' (' because they are not that big) and myself, not as a goal on it's own. I strongly believe that the benefits of participating at NoFap help fixing divers sort of problems.

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