Nofap, divorce and dating

I think you should go abstinent for at least a little while (60-90 days) for two reasons. A, it will greatly improve your discipline and mental fortitude, and B, it will give you time to define yourself outside of being someone's partner. I am dealing with a similar but not identical situation, and I have realized that I do not know what I want to do or who I want to be. You should find that first. Then worry about dating. Just my two cents, but I am up rn and might as well try to help.

 

The idea of a relationship is to go there to give. You are going to share with the other person who you are. If you got your shit together and you are living a happy life, then you are going to share that to her. But if you are full of issues and baggage, then you are going to share that with her. Woman that have their shit together are going to dump you if you don't have your shit together.. only woman that are full of baggage and issues are going to put up with your crap, only if you put up with all her crap, that is not a good base for a healthy/happy relationship.

So... get your shit together first with porn and anything else you think that is holding you back as a person. Be on your best version, live a happy life full of hobbies, friends and family. In that moment start dating with the posibility of starting a relationship with a woman that is also in a good moment in her life.

In the meantime, while your work on yourselve, you can date casually just for fun but been open with the woman you date that you are no interested for the moment in something serious.

 

Dating can be a wonderful thing but I agree with your posters. If you are going through a tough time you will try to find hookups to numb your pain. Its exactly the same as pmo at this point. Find someone get a meaningful connection and grow in a positive way. I believe you can do this.

 

I'm in divorce too and I feel the lure of dating every day. The dream of some warmth. I even installed a dating app but that was a mistake, left it after 2 days of swiping EVERYONE away. I could not write anything honest about myself in the bio. Not ready. Get divorce first and as @p1n1983 said, get your shit together.