NoFap & Ex-Girlfriend

hello, brothers

I’m just going to start off by saying that NoFap brought me back the feeling of being a kid again and just being happy with life and it’s totality. It’s amazing and everyday that I wake up and know I didn’t masturbate is a day in the right direction because I did it since I was like 13 which is ridiculous. I am finally on day 62 and each day I know that I am working at my full potential.

My sophomore year in high school I met a girl who I ended up dating for almost 4 years and I always lied to her about masturbating and watching porn. It was horrible and I would have sex with her and masturbate. I would have sex w her multiple times and still have time to masturbate throughout the years and no wonder I no longer felt anything and had terrible anxiety and almost lost my baseball career.

What I realized and what makes me feel like a fucking terrible person was that I was never able to actually feel the energy she was giving to me because I never felt nothing at all and I myself throughout the years as they progressed continued to increasingly feel nothing and I continued as if it were normal which led me to think that life was just that way until I discovered NoFap. This shit was so profound man, and that’s why I’m constantly on here because this saved my life. NoFap literally gave me life back and it almost brings me tears. I’ve wasted years of love that I could have given to this woman that I thought I loved dearly or I was just merely confused.

I don’t know if my mind is playing tricks with me because it’s day 60 but should I say anything to her? Should I mention that I was addicted to porn for a very long time and there’s all these negative affects that she had to put up with and I had no idea? It seems like a good idea but then again it might not be.

I am a different man, I feel it, sense, and I know it. I never thought I would regret doing something in life but this is it. I regret watching porn and wasting my life energy for practically my entire life. I missed out on so much life due to it and I don’t want my brothers who try this not to. Y’all are truly family because this shit ruins life

We had our troubles and we haven’t been in communication for 2 years but small talk here and there and I don’t know if that’s a door I fully have to close or I don’t know but it’s something that continuously is popping up. I don’t want to rationalize myself to do this just because I may be secretly horny or idk what. I just know it’s something that’s popped up a lot.

I fucked up, but now I know I am making progress in life. I couldn’t say that before. I want to keep going, but I’m honestly scared that any type of conversation with her would change everything and I don’t want that. But, since NoFap has changed me maybe this time it’s going to be different? Idk it’s confusing and I just would like to bounce ideas off you guys and see your thoughts

 

Very well said, appreciate it