NoFap for over a year. No success...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by xxmemel0verxx, Dec 17, 2019.

  1. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I am 15 years old, I started PMO back when I was in the 6th grade (I was 12 at the time). And like every kid, PMO felt amazing. I came to realization that porn and masturbation were effecting me mentally and physically. But nonetheless, I still continued my addiction until about a year ago. I started NoFap when I was 14, it was the best decision of my life. I started to watch videos everyday on how to improve my life; from motivational videos, to spirituality videos. Like everybody, when I first started I would get some decent streaks (my highest is 21 days). However, I started to decline in my ability to abstain from PMO. Now, I cannot pass a week without masturbating and watching porn which bothers me so much (my average streak length is 2 days). I absolutely hate this, and can’t seem to understand what happened. I have always been a energized, looking for a girlfriend dude, but now I don’t want to lust anymore. I HATE IT. I just want to live my life with peace, and achievement. Can you guys please give me advice, doesn’t matter what age. I just need advice, please.
     
  2. Well to start it’s very impressive you started nofap so early on, dedicate your life to self improvement and you will be miles ahead of everyone else, it wasn’t until I was 19 that I got into self improvement. You are only 15 so I would take it easy on yourself, like I said it wasn’t until I was 19 until I started caring, I was not really mentally able to care until that age it seems, and I consider myself a very intelligent and mature person, so you are doing great. What I did to help get me back on my reboot is I started running, I started doing legs at the gym, I did everything I did not want to do. That is what you need to do, find ways to step out of your comfort zone and improve!, and my honest opinion is you should not be focused on dating at 15, I get it you crave intimacy and a girl but it’s to early for you in my opinion, I am 21 and I am holding off on dating until I am rebooted and ready. One tip of advice I would like to give you is try listening to those more experienced than you, they most likely do know better but that does not mean not thinking for yourself, at your age you really don’t know a thing about anything, your brain is still forming and your body is still growing, so just do your best and when you get older everything will become clear.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2019
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  3. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    Right on man.
     
  4. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    Hello young man, it is a very good thing you have achieved such progress in your age!
    You need to make Nofap as a lifestyle, means you should fill your routine with healthy activities and replace PMO with positive goals and other tasks in your life. Keep doing the good work. And mainly do not depend on willpower alone, but read rebooting materials, apply them, avoid triggers and do healthy activities.

    It might feel tough to control your urges after a long streak especially after a binge. But this will be controlled as soon as you take a grip on your streak! You are doing great! Be proud and keep doing the good work :)
     
  5. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    I try it out
     
  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Very impressive. Put all that energy into learning/studying/enjoying/experiencing.
    You're on the right track, so try to avoid worrying.
     
    engelman likes this.
  7. Xexos

    Xexos Fapstronaut

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    No matter what anyone says, it's just empty talk that won't amount to anything. I keep hearing everyone talking about how "the secret" to Nofap is distracting yourself, or "the secret" is energy transmutation, or meditating, exercising, doing this, doing that, etc. And while i agree that they help, but they still won't be enough to get over this, they're just some means to help you to move forward as much as possible, but you'll fail eventually.

    To get to the point and make it as simple as possible, you're weaker than your lust/addiction or whatever you wanna call it, that's why you keep failing. If you want some magical spell or secret tip that will suddenly make you a Nofap pioneer or something, then just give up.

    You just have to get stronger and beat this enemy as hard as you can.
     
  8. Xexos

    Xexos Fapstronaut

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    If he doesn't depend on his willpower and his own strength, then he will never succeed at Nofap or anything else. As i mentioned in my previous post, there's no secret to anything, it's just a matter whether you're capable of doing it or not, whether you're strong enough or not. No matter how long he'll have to depend on those magic formulas, if he's not strong enough to begin with, he'll fail miserably.
     
  9. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    And the young man is doing very well indeed.
    Give him some credit.
     
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  10. Give celibacy a try. You don't have to do it forever. See my journal "Dexter's Journey" for further information. Take care!
     
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  11. SeekingPower

    SeekingPower Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    Although more than twice your age, I can relate to you as I have been in your situation.
    I discovered NOFAP accidentally while trying to get a GF.
    I accidentally noticed, that NOFAP actually increases my ability to get GF and vice versa.

    Coming from that, you goals are a bit different that some of the older guys here.
    Your goal is simply to get a GF. And NOFAP is a big part of that. Your self improvement activities are also a part of that.
    When you get a GF, you will not even think or enjoy M.
     
  12. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    Is it alright if I try to cut porn off first, then the masturbation.
    you know it’s pretty hard to not do anything sexual at this age
     
  13. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    That is good advice, but what if I cannot get a women. I still be stuck.
     
  14. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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    What do you think I should do? Should I cut porn off first, then the masturbation and orgasm?
     
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  15. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    Willpower is just a part of getting up, but willpower alone is not enough, The number of those who quit depending on willpower only are almost non. And if they did, they may comeback to their addiction with worse binges. Also as the addict keep relapsing his willpower will get weaker and weaker, so he has to strengthen himself with other factors as well. If it depends on willpower only, then why after a relapse, when I say I want to stop and enough is enough.. couple of hours later.. I relapse again ?
     
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  16. Mr.Chips I agree with you 100%. Willpower is not constant. To wrestle with something, in this case addiction, all of the time gives it strength.
    A better policy is to use a number of tactics. For example avoidance, cold showers and meditation. We must be prepared to be flexible in our approach. In short we must use what works at a given time.
     
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  17. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

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    Yes. Cutting porn is essential and the most important. If you can successfully cut porn while still masturbating without it leading you back to porn then you may not need to quit masturbation and orgasm. At your age I doubt you have developed a sexual dysfunction so it shouldn’t negatively impact your recovery most likely UNLESS it leads you back to porn.
     
  18. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    @xxmemel0verxx, as (almost) everybody here is telling you ... you have really achieved a lot by waking up and realising at that young age that you may have a problem and, not only that, you're even still trying to tackle it. That's what I'd call a F*** great success. You're only 15 and you have many steps ahead in the path, but you're going in the right direction. Whether you're able to stay away of PMO for 2,3, ... days/weeks/months ... it does not really matter as long as you keep your goals in mind.

    Pessimism will not take us to any good place. Sometimes we all need words of encouragement and motivation. Besides, as @SirErnest said, we have to give him some credit because he really deserves it. Regarding what you mentioned about "the secret" ... I know what you mean. I think we all should take everything on this forum with a pinch of salt ... even though most of us are well-intentioned, all our comments and recommendations are based on our own previous experiences and on what has worked (or not) for us. Everybody is different and, not only that, what worked for us at some specific time could easily not work at others and viceversa. I think timing plays a key role in all this huge journey of self-learning and introspection.

    I'm afraid that will not happen. My first attempt was when I fall in love with the girl that (more than 17 years later) is still my wife. That's a fallacy I used to say to myself when I was single, and it "worked", because it kept me PMOing many times every f*** day during all my childhood and early adulthood. I thought all my "issues" were going to disappear as soon as I got a GF. Wrong! My first streak lasted only two weeks and it was a really hard battle. Since then, I've tried again in some other occasions, but never went much far than 2/3 weeks. But my "issues" were fully-fledged by the time I got a GF, maybe this doesn't apply to the case of our young man, who knows?

    I think having some kind of compulsive masturbation habit during your teens is something common and normal. After all, you're still young and you have to discover your sexuality. The problem comes when you put together M with P, because P is artificial and distorts completely our vision of what real sex should be. Our fathers maybe fantasized and masturbated using vanilla erotic magazines, but P is so f*** explicit that there's no room for our imagination: we stop fantasizing and become only P passive consumers. Because M could lead you easily to P, if I were you, I should try to stay away also from M as long as I can and only use it when I really really really "need it" (but without feeling guilty afterwards -that's important-).

    About willpower ... as @Mr.Chips and @Dexter Moran said ... is not enough. It's only a tool from our toolbox, but realying only on willpower is going to make us relapse sooner or later. Willpower is one of the most powerful tools, but consumes a lot of energy from us so ... the more we use, the less we have. We should leave it for the moments in which the other tools have failed.



    “The best things in life don’t come easy, but those things are the ones worth the sacrifice.”
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2019
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  19. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    You are on the right track mate.
    Between you and success there is a set amount of relapses.
    I think u need to do intense Excercises.
    It will make your journey a breeze.
    You have to know yourself.
    What triggers you?
    I am not talking about girls or p , i am talking about your anxiety.
    What makes u feel anxious?
     
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  20. scottb

    scottb Fapstronaut

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    Dude you quit your pmo'ing habit at the age of 14 & I started pmo'ing at the age of 15 or 16, my other friends however started masturbating at a very young age like you, they always tried to convince me for masturbation but I used to change topic whenever they tried to convince me but then one day l just gave it a try and it felt so amazing and then I build up the habit of porn and masturbation for 2 years and let me tell you something in those 2 years all my aggressiveness, self esteem, confidence reduced drastically and then at the age of 18 I came to know about nofap challenge.
    And then I accepted the challenge, my longest streak was of 36 days and currently I'm on day 4 and I think I'm already recovered but I'm not going back to that shit.
    And I want same for people who are reading this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
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