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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mattew, Feb 8, 2019.
(Nodding head in the affirmative as I read this)
I feel like i have a poison in my stomach, which is hate, and it's destroying me and everything in my life.
And it just get bigger and bigger.
Yeah definitely sound like you have depression, that is separate from the PMO. And it's not that quitting PMO doesn't have benefits though. It's that your depression stops you from seeing any benefits. You actually have to choose to think positively, and give yourself credit where credit is due, on your 261 day streak. That's hardly easy when you don't feel that way. You must have come to NoFap because you thought that your porn use was a problem. So then you've been 261 days without that problem! That's a great thing when it really comes down to it! But your depression is not letting you see that as a good thing. I hope you don't go back to porn
Sorry to hear that man. I assume you came here to at least cut back on porn and/or wanking, which is a worthy aim surely.
As for benefits etc, I genuinely have had flashes of beauty (and indeed other less positive feelings) that are quite new to me, so I have some hope for this process but of course don't think it will revolutionise my life.
I hope you have at least picked up some better habits...
I realize my poison is something closely related: Bitterness. How to get over these things is the question??? I thought I was over it but I realize there are other things I'm bitter about that I'm clinging on to. I need to get over these things and grow up. But it's easier said than done.
Therapists actually don't know a fuck on how to solve those problems. And also 99.9% of people who give you tips don't know a fuck on how to solve the problem.
Never felt so much on the verge of relapsing, i'm like a drug addict in abstinence, the fact is, now i don't have motivation to resist anymore, because i think nofap it's not useful.
There have been many many people that have gone through withdrawals and flatline until close to two years. You have not even reached your 1 year mark yet. There is not a one size fits all recovery time. The longer you were addicted the longer it’s going to take to see benefits. There are far too many people that have reported seeing the same benefits to simply call NoFap bullshit. It’s up to you what you do but if you decide to quit and relapse you may be robbing yourself of potential benefits that await you just around the corner...
Nofap has failed? I think you're looking at things all wrong.
If you can abstain for 260 days then I'd say you're doing fine with porn addiction.
You have no success with women because as you admit you have a hatred towards them.
I've experienced the super powers and I've had 5 times the success with women in 2018 then I've had during the previous 5 years combined but I spend alot of time working on my social skills and my attitude.
Some women can certainly be persons but if you admit you hate them across the board you got some psychological issues going on. All women don't fall into the person/Ho/ Golddigger/hateful feminist category. When you try to deal with women with this kind of prejudice in your head, no wonder you don't get anywhere.
Blaming it on nofap shows a lack of personal accountability and thats gonna get you nowhere even faster.
Tell me something i don't already know.
Ok I was gonna ask you if you feel that you cannot function because of your mental state but your answers tell me the answer.
Go to your GP (not neurologist as someone mentioned) and begin with antidepressants. It may take time to find the right one, but they will give you a head start in building a life you can enjoy, and that part is up to you.
Trust me, even if you had any negative side effects, that is a much better situation than the misery you're going through now.
And think again about therapy. You say they don't give a shit, I disagree. They have to give a shit; otherwise they will have no clients and they will be working at McDs. It's in their own interests to help you, and a good therapist (like I've found) will always have your best interests in mind. Don't let one bad experience put you off.
I actually highy agree with @Neilus.
@Mattew, it really feels like you are in an actual, constant depression. If what you write is correct, you are doing too much things that should make you feel better normally.
It feels like you see everything negatively and without any hope.
Please, take his advice and talk to your doc, and then find something that can help your brain to heal.
You owe it to yourself to at least giving that a try and not get discouraged if the first med doesn't immediately make it better. You may need a few tries.
Come back to the forum once you talked to your GP.
@The Great Warrior
Your dog faps to porn and has developed PIED, DE, and a deathgrip symptome?
That poor animal!
And please stop thinking that what happened to you works for everyone else. Everyone is different and needs a different, for him or her personally fitting approach to solve their problems.
i am not sure i can read at all. Je suis une baguette avec fromage.
Yes, i've been depressed all my life, from when i was a kid, it's just that i never recognized it because that's the only way i've been for all my life.
What's a GP?
I understand you completely. That said, thinking that no PMO is some magical pill that will cure all your troubles is kind of naive. I've been suffering from social anxiety and major depression rooting in my f...ed up early childhood all my adolescent and adult life. I don't blame PMO for it, PMO was just my coping mechanism to numb myself and escape from negative emotions and fears. I could as easily end up being an alcoholic or a drug addict. It makes no difference. I have been totally aware that removing PMO from my life will hit me hard and it does. I go through emotional hell every time I stop my daily binge PMO sessions and even after half a year of hard mode I could still be severely anxious and depressed at times. Why do I keep trying then? Because it's the only way I can face my fears and progress in life, no matter how painful it is. Compulsive binge PMO has literally eaten my will and energy to face my mental and other problems. Like any addiction PMO is a form of escapism. If you listen to the stories of former drug addicts, it's not the acute withdrawal symptoms they find most difficult to endure, it's the post acute withdrawal syndrome, when all their anxieties, depression, guilt, shame and other disorders they tried to run away from for years many decades resurface and hit them in the face. That's the time most of them break and return to their old ways. It's no different with us. Accept the pain, embrace it and take active steps to change your lifestyle. No therapist or SSRI drugs can do it for you. My GP who happens to also have a doctorate in psychiatry "prescribed" me 3 days of running a week for three months when I asked for anxiolytics and SSRI prescription adding that he'll prescribe me desired drugs if I don't feel any better after completing his running program.
A GP is a General Practitioner.
Man, I think Neilus's advice is right. I'm 30 yrs old now and have suffered from depression a big part of my life.
There are many types of depression. Some are caused by imbalances in your brain, and no matter how many self-help books you read and changes you make, if you're not correcting those imbalances you won't get out of it.
I did therapy and after a few years I was feeling a lot better. I'm not saying life is amazing for me right now, but I was able (with help) to get out of the hole I was in. I just felt completely numb in life.
I'm sure it's not exactly the same that you are feeling, but please do see a GP or something like that and if needed start on some medication. Sometimes you DO need help, and by yourself it's hard and maybe even impossible to get out of that hole you're in.
Please try and change your mind about drugs or doctors helping you. In some cases you are absolutely right, but some people in specific situations absolutely need it!
Also don't give up and go back to PMOing. You should keep going with nofap, and if you need to 'relief' yourself, just do normal M. Don't go back to P. Specially if you already see women in the way you do.
Things will get better if you do what is necessary!
Best of luck! Life's a person but stay strong and eventually life will be OUR person!
Oh brother, there nothing special come to you if you practice abstinence. Accept fact that all have hardship in life. We have the same hardship plus our damn addiction to defeat. So no need make yourself miserable. Just improvise and adapt to what lies ahead.
I think you are relating everything happen to you with NOfap only. Remove that thought first and consider NOfap as removing a distraction(PMO) from your thinking process,.
Good luck and I hope You see things with clarity.
I actually don't relate anything of what's happening to me with nofap. I just stated that nofap didn't help me or made me improve in anything, and that nofap is not helpful.
Bummer, he's been Temporarily Suspended.