Nofap Is Ruining My Student Life

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RuinedLife123, Feb 4, 2022.

  1. RuinedLife123

    RuinedLife123 Fapstronaut

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    Hey so let me tell you everything that happened to me all these years in detail ( im currently 14yr old), when i was in 5th grade a friend of mine in school told me search xyz model on Google (she was an adult star) i was using my mom's phone as o didn't have mine at that time after 1 minutes into that video something struck deep inside my brain which was the dopamine rush i guess after that day i didn't used to watch P but i started my own thoughts and masturbating everyday i didn't even knew what i was doing is called masturbation ( i was 9yr old so i wasn't releasing anything at that time) slowly but slightly my personality started to change my grades got messed up really bad i had C in the finals of 5th grade and when i entered 6th i lost interest in studies and i used to play outside a lot and i lost interest in that too i left playing cricket or football and used too masturbate compulsively i stopped going to tution for studies, i used to masturbate by fantasizing only till this time by rubbing my penis upside down position on bed , i finished 6th grade and changed schools in 7th grade i became an extreme addict my stamina was literally dead i used to masturbate 4-5 times everyday just by fantasizing i engaged in sports this year tho as i was lonely and in new school my grades were up this year because i couldn't cheat from other's this time i had no friends in this school so i had to study but my memory became very bad , a day before exam i had to study 12 hours a day in 7th grade which was bazzare but i didn't noticed anything , at this point i was 11 yr old , i used to fantasize all day long in school and masturbate like psychopaths i became absolutely garbage to be honest , I became addicted to masturbation like dead serious in September i stopped playing by this point i was masturbating 6-7 times a day without releasing anything as i was only 11 slowly after December i had to give my periodic tests where i almost failed in maths i started having brain fog at that time retaining information was very hard for me anyways mostly 80 percent of my class failed that exam tho but still and i got a weird feeling in my head that it is due to what im doing which was masturbation i tried to stop for 7 days i guess and went in flatline i guess i didn't knew about that at that time my parents got worried i was consulting doctor and getting worried about my health i didn't knew what was happening with me i was literally in a weird situation and then i relapsed after some days and got back to my regular masturbation routine but at this moment i knew i was doing something that was extremely wrong and shouldn't be done by me i tried to stop and i think i went in flatline I didn't knew something was wrong with me at that moment or im flatlining i was just 11 like common then i gave social science exam and i literally no joke masturbated during the exam as i had so much anxiety because i was suppressing my emotions i literally rubbed my penis in the class during exam and then my exam went well i could recall everything in 8th grade i was having a conversation with a classmate who was also addicted to masturbation we both tried to stop and failed miserably during the year i had 4-5 flatlines i was 12 at the moment and i was fighting this strong addiction within me and then you know what it used to happen mostly during exams i got a weird fetish to stop masturbating before exams i don't know why and i used to flatline which i didn't even knew existed and happening with me and i performed miserably the entire year almost failed math in finals breaking 30+ days streaks the entire year flatlining like psychopaths then i entered highschool in COVID i got 13 yr Old and my birthday was celebrated when i was flatlining like the hell and the entire year i made my parents worry get depressed relapse i started watching P now too i became weak my stamina was dead too i passed in 9th grade flatlining 4 times the entire year


    I joined 10th grade celebrated my birthday and what a conicident i was flatlining again no joke literally , it was COVID and schools were online im in 10th rn too i got a 45 days streak but this time i had no benifits i was panicking hand shaking unable to concentrate even tho i wasn't flatlining so i relapsed and in September 2021 i started nofap one more time after a total of 10 flatlines months of suffering i got a 35 day streak cleared flatline i was going to gym and tutions too so i didn't hold much energy within me but i relapsed this was the worst mistake of my life i literally cried and beat my head on the wall



    Im in Indian and i have board exams too in November i did no nut November my Preboards were over by that Here on 12th November i relapsed intentionally because i had board exams from 20th November TERM 1 AND I DIDN'T WANTED TO HAVE A FLATLINE ( i was aware about everything by now that how and why it occur ) so before 20th my stress of exams submerged with my excessive masturbation i used to go to the gym at that time tho , let's get to the point i gave my exam on 20th my first ever board exam it went good i literally masturbated a day before , so now i started to get depersonalised again i already had got depersonalisation literally 2-3 times (losing consciousness due to excessive fapping)


    So i did Nofap from 23rd November which was the worst decision of my life i had my computer exam on 25th which went good and after that i left gym for intense studying i was drinking coffee while studying in the morning so you can say i was intaking a lot of sugar rn on the top of that exam stress and extra stress from Nofap i gave my exam on 25th it went good i had SST exam on 30th November i was I was studying very nicely but on 28th while i was studying history nobody was there in house i was studying from the television watching a lecture from YouTube i had brainfog and trouble concentrating it was day 6 i guess and i Started to get heavy withdrawal symptoms but i was unaware of that but then i searched up PoRn on YouTube like wtf then something showed i watched it but God damn i edged and it was my worst mistake o STUDIED till night and on 29th ig i officialy entered flatline i had so much withdrawal symptoms but i was unaware i became such a jerk head i gave my exam on 30th i was in flatline at that time the most unfortunate thing happened I was doing Nofap earlier so that i won't flatline during boards but i did i came home checked answer key and performed badly due to nofap flatline i was panicking i watched p i gained consciousness and thought if i watch P I'll get out of flatline i had 4 exams still Left so i needed my brain rn but my dick was dead and i had no pleasure In orgasm too i was so worried i couldn't Focus now i indulged in PMO during a flatline which was so bad i masturbated 2-3 times next day to get out of Flatline I was losing my entire mind I was unconscious as hell and still flatlining i cut-off my friends and parents were worried because i wasn't studying at all even tho is studied whole year for these exams flatline and doing Nofap at the wrong time RUINED literally every fuckin thing , when i was giving science exam i couldn't perform anything my Brain was dead i was doing those questions wrong which i practised thousands of Times i checked answers at home and i was crying my parents were worried i was visiting doctor getting medicine i was badly Flatlined i had 26/40 in science when i checked from answer key it gave me more stress i was flatlined too and ruined my maths exam too for which i practised 1000+ MCQ in flatline i just scored 27/40 , and did all the questions wrong that i knew because in flatline i couldn't think for a After 2 days i was finally out of the flatline my wood was back i was masturbating 4-5 times again after year's i was so depressed that my hardwork wasted in flatline i have the left over 2 exams my all and performed good in them i have depression since that day that flatline and nofap timing RUINED everything for me i again did nofap got flatlined amd relapsed .



    As of now it's 4 Feb when im writing this i literally masturbated to P Today and im doing it since past week sometimes 3 times a day i was bright student whole year this time but Nofap Flatline killed me




    I HAVE TERM 2 BOARD EXAM NEXT MONTH BY THE END OF MARCH AND IM NOT PREPARED IM ULTRA UNMOTIVATED I HAVE TRAUMA FROM STUDYING AFTER THAT IM FAILING MY PARENT'S , MY TEACHERS AND MYSELF THE TERM 2 HAS 50-60 PERCENT WEIGHTAGE OF FINALS WHAT SHOULD I DO RIGHT NOW IM NOT PREPARED FOR SHIT OF THE UPCOMING CARS EXAM'S NEXT MONTH AND IF I MESS THEM UP MY 10TH GRADE OVER-ALL PERCENTAGE WILL BE RUINED

    To all the fapstraunauts I need some suggestions because if i mess the upcoming exams my ENTIRE percentage will be ruined and i will suffer for life i really need help injerd to ace the upcoming exams in the end of March they have 50-60 percent weightage of the final results i need help i want to got to a good school in 11th grade please help

    Im Just 14 yr old and suicidal+depressed as hell - (HELP)
     
    Abel100% likes this.
  2. Battlestar

    Battlestar Fapstronaut

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    You have three different problems: Depression, Stress, and Masturbation. They are related but different. Start by separating them as much as possible. You may also be having health problems. You're using PMO as a "coping mechanism" to deal with stress and depression. You feel depressed or stressed out, so you M. Then you feel bad about M, and get depressed. You try to quit M. Then you feel worse because you are in withdrawal, and don't have your coping mechanism. The main thing is that it's not all BECAUSE of masturbation. You may want to M for all sorts of reasons, but a big one is that you are trying to escape the way you feel. You are blaming everything on yourself when you blame it all on M. It's probably a lot more complicated that than, and probably not all your fault. You need help for depression and stress if you want to quit M. I understand where you are coming from.

    It sounds like you really need a therapist (your school probably has one). You don't have to talk to them about the M if you don't want to. They may be able to help you find some coping strategies that will help with the depression and stress. You may also have some options about school. You might be able to get some kind of academic help, or to put off some of your exams for a while. Having some more support will help, like time with friends, therapist, help from teachers. Try forming a study group - no big commitments, just people to meet up with and study. Even if you don't get much done in a study group, it's a whole lot better than M during that time. Relying on yourself won't work right now.

    Forgive yourself for M and for your academics up until now. Don't excuse yourself, and say it's all ok, but try to forgive yourself. It won't happen immediately, but beating yourself up isn't helping.

    It's hard to see right now, but you are still very young. I'm not being condescending in any way. It's a good thing. I know school and exams are very important, but you can figure it out. IDK what school is like there, but the rest of your life does not depend on your exams right now. All sorts of things happen to people. Maybe you can postpone, or re-take the exam. Maybe if you do really bad you will have to go to a different school than you want. Maybe you can then transfer to one you like. Then you apply for college. Then you get a job. It's not all decided right now. The main thing is that there are always options. You will have many opportunities. People want you to think that if you screw up even once, your whole life is ruined, but that's not true.

    Best wishes.
     
    shred75 and RuinedLife123 like this.
  3. Negan©

    Negan© Fapstronaut

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    Im and indian too brother..im 21 and i barely passed 12th grade..and its all because of masturbation and addiction..
    Now i can tell you how much i suffered during the last 10 long years and how it ruined my academic performance and career but it will be too long...just trust me , im a 21 year old version of you , depressed , suicidal and addicted ..LEAVE THIS ADDICTION WHILE YOU CAN...
    Im 30 days in , and i can yell you its the best ive ever felt..ive been trying NoFap on and off since the last 2 years and its been like hell..when you start and stop nofap again and again your mind starts getting troubled with the high and low of all sorts of hormones and chemicals..
    Just do it in one go and PROPERLY ...
    And i personally guarantee it would be the best decision you ever take..
    You want any insight on any topic , health , PMO , psyche , career and all..im here..start your journey and message me whenever youre having a querry or trouble..
    I remember the time when i was 14 and the attraction to girls and the dopamine rushes had just started..i went crazy on porn and all..its the worst decision i ever made..just leave it..
     
  4. RuinedLife123

    RuinedLife123 Fapstronaut

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    Bro You literally spoke facts right now but im indian and here in India 10th grade matters (not much) but society SOMEHOW judges you upon them and my next exams are next month's i can improve my over-all grades , im scoring an over-all 85 PERCENT in this semester which might not be as bad but i studied too much and flatline ruined everything


    Im having insane trouble studying right now , school are also starting from tuesday I'll have my PREFINALS ( They doesn't matter) after that I'll have finals by March END if i do good in that like A+ in all of them i can still get an over-all A grade and i want it but rn im using Masturbation as a coping mechanism (Fapping everyday and solving physics and understanding algebra is very hard for me as im depleting my energy and since that incident i have gained 10 kg weight and doing pushups is also hard suggest something how i can manage my studies and masturbate because i can't stop now and yeah we can't postpone exams here it's not possible , and if i stop M now I'll suffer withdrawal again I'll do Nofap once exams are finished and I'll have break before next grade but for now suggest me something
     
  5. Negan©

    Negan© Fapstronaut

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    Haha , its like history is repeating itself..when i was in 10th standard ( 2017) even i thought it didnt matter until i got out here in the real world and even the most shittiest college would ask me for my 10th grade percentile and would give admission on the basis of some comibination of 10 + 12 ( 40-50 or maybe 50-50)..
    But coming to the crux , all i know is that all of your problems are coming from masturbation..weakness , weight gain and even trouble studying..you wouldnt believe me i was the champion speaker and debater of the junior section up until 7th. Standard and after that when the effects of porn amd masturbation took hold of me , i was reduced to nothing but the class clown..
    So you cant stop M and P until youre done with your exams , and its also the reason youre unable to study...hmm..what i would suggest is doing it in a highly controlled manner..do it when you feel like its very urgent like when you just cant control the urges..and secondly , do it without porn videos..you can masturbate without porn videos..what porn does is that it overstimulates the brain ( to get a powerful orgasm) leading to severe and strong aftereffects , and its because of those aftereffects that you get teoubled..but nevertheless if you do it without P you can make it work..and yes , DO IT ONLY WHEN THE URGES GET STRONG..
    but youll have to quit it later..or else this whole site is full of people ellaborating about how porn ruined their lives , careers and relationships..
     
  6. RuinedLife123

    RuinedLife123 Fapstronaut

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    One point to be noted tho my exams were ruined by nofap in a way as i did in a wrong time but trust me if i weren't Flatlined i would have easily scored 95 percent in term 1 boards , im popular at my school (No Cap) , i have became teachers favourite student this year even tho i was fapping , i was managing every other prospect of my life , but doing nofap at the wrong time just brutally murdered me from everywhere ,

    I'll score 98 percent in semester 2 examinations and get above 90+ percent for sure but the problems Nofap flatlines have given me , i can never forget them
     
  7. Negan©

    Negan© Fapstronaut

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    Its a demon that youve created yourself..and so have i and millions of other men..and sooner or later youll have to face it..fapping is unnatural and is hyperstimulates the brain..your brain and mind like it just like a heroine addict likes heroine..nevertheless the adict ends up in a ditch , sooner or later...i admit that the withdrawal symptoms hit one strongly and flatline causes a lot of insecurity and psychic issues but you will have to get past through them one day or the other...i didnt do it on the right time and a stage came when i felt it had ruined me , physically and mentally , and god forbid if that stage comes for you , youll have a lot more to suffer than just the problems that nofap gives you..understand that the human body was made for natural sex and not for getting sexually stimulated and satisfied by other people having sex on a screen..your mind is functioning properly at the cost that you give it regular drugs ( porn )...i hope that you get my point..only wish the best for you..and yes , the coming time is very precious..you would want yourself to be mentally , physically and sexually healthy , and porn is an gret hinderance to that..
     
  8. RuinedLife123

    RuinedLife123 Fapstronaut

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    For now can i just focus on my upcoming board exam like whenever exams approach my libido sky rockets and controlling is very difficult I get rashes in my entire body and concentration becomes bad, what should I do my Preboards are starting I want good percentage in my finals, I'm exercising Nowadays at home tho I have gym equipments available at home too, can I just rub one out whenever I feel my concentration is deteriorating? Like just in 10 seconds without porn????
     
    WalterSm1 likes this.
  9. Negan©

    Negan© Fapstronaut

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    Nope do it properly , use your imagination , dont overspeed the rhythm , it makes for unrequitted stimulation..take 20-30 minutes for it and use your imagination , take it slow with slow rhythm and control and feel it , to the fullest..that way the brain actually has time to reckon that yes the body is engaging in sexual activity and that it should prepare for the influx of pleasure hormones and stuff..if its just a 10 second game , the brain ends up getting confused because it isnt supposed to end in 10 seconds...secondly the sudden influx of hormones and shit make it difficult to balance and control them..do it once but feel it to the core..so you wouldnt feel the urge again for a relatively longer period of time..
     
  10. RuinedLife123

    RuinedLife123 Fapstronaut

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    So i wanna ask you about something, I don't know if this has happened to because because of anxiety or depression but I have weird strange feeling which flows through my hand like whenever I am studying or doing something my hands kind of floats and pains and I can't focus on the task, I used to think that's it's imaginary and psychological which I made myself suffer by thinking about it again and again but now it has been 1 yr and it's still happening it didn't happen much for 4-5 month's but now it's happening very hard again, yk my exams are postponed and are from 27 April and this thing doesn't let me concentrate much. Why is this caused to me??? I may sound mad I guess but it's really a weird feeling I have in my palms
     
  11. WalterSm1

    WalterSm1 New Fapstronaut

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    I have the same situation. I am trying to use the Pomodoro technique to increase my focus.
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    Student of the literature class at regular uni. Working at https://edubirdie.com/plagiarism-free-essays, helping editors to correct their plagiarism free essays to make a living and pay the part of my tuition. Trying to escape the addiction. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not, but the battle is worth the result.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2022
    MarkPowell1 likes this.

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