nofap is the worst thing I've done to my life

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by kilip, Jun 1, 2018.

  1. kilip

    kilip Fapstronaut

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    Im 16 years old and I started nofap around 10 months ago to try and become more mature and fix my life and shit and here I am today and I've probablymasturbated like 20 times since then. I never even had a problem with addiction. it started off great I got more confidence and was happy I did a lot of things around delayed gratification and I was overall just more content with my wholesome life. Eventually I stopped. sex was on my mind too much and I felt like I could do no harm busting a nut. Life has felt so boring ever since then no matter what crazy shit I do I still feel insensitive I have no emotion

    I met this gorgeous girl and she really likes me and things start to get seriousshe starts taking off her shirt and wants to give me a blowjob and here I am a 16 year old who never had any problems with erictile dysfunction and was never even addicted to porn and i cant get fuckinghard. wow like I'm literally about to havesex for the first time in my life and nothing I'm a fucking brain dead slab of meat I don't even feel emotions for this girl and I know for a fact I'd be desperately in love with her if I wasn't going through this shit she is so amazing and so fucking hot and I have no ideawhat to do I feel like this whole nofap experience I've just been waiting. for what? to die?


    fuck. someone please say something
     
  2. FeatheredTalo

    FeatheredTalo Fapstronaut

    Sounds like we need a little more context into the situation: have you and this girl you met been going out for a while? Is this something that has consistently been going on and you have noticed about yourself? Are there any other feelings other than physical attraction between the two of you?

    You say you've M'd 20 plus times... since when? Was the cause of your reset this recent incident with this girl?

    Of course I can understand how frustrated you would be. When I was 16, there was not a thought on my mind that didn't have to do with sex. It's okay to feel frustrated. It's okay to feel sad. But you need to think of your self-respect in a way that helps out the person you want to be with and care about.

    It's also okay to be transparent about this. Best case scenario, this girl will actually LISTEN to you and what you are going through. It gives you much more power to be proud of the fact you can identify the problem within yourself and still want to be able to change. And at 16? I wish I had that type of will power.

    You got this, man. Deep breaths.
     
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  3. Wolves

    Wolves Fapstronaut

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    I got in a situation when I was 14 and a girl wanted to have sex with and I couldn't get hard. Since then I've had ed, including from porn. I guess I am a unlucky one. Been watching since 11
     
  4. Foggyperson

    Foggyperson Fapstronaut

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    I was about to have my first time when i was 17. Was hard all the way but then the moment I slipped on the condom. Nothing. Too nervous. We then still somehow managed to have sex but I literally came in seconds. I felt god awful.
    The first time ALWAYS sucks mate.
    My second time was when I was 19 with my best friend. And because we were best friends i felt safe to talk about my previous experiences and that made all the nervousness go away. We've had amazing sex and I didn't really have problems with not getting hard or PE since then.
    So don't worry mate. Remember, the most important thing is to talk about your worries. Usually your partner will be understanding. If not, ditch them.
     
  5. Honestly, i dont think its related to nofap. Not masturbating doesnt ruin your erections. You're young, its your first time and you were probably nervous which can be a big erection killer. Dont be too hard on yourself.
     
  6. I'm almost sure you simply were nervous. It happens and it's most likely not related to NoFap.
     
  7. Fishkeeper

    Fishkeeper Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I can confirm that, and in my case it was also the second and third... Basically my first experiences with girls were just a chain of failures. I did lick a lot though, and i liked the taste very much.
    Anxiety was a big problem, and maybe PMO contributed to that. The first time that it worked in a satisfactory way was when i found a girl which was a bit older than me, with some (a lot) more experience. She had a way of making me feel confident. I found later that i like older girls, in fact my wife is 8 years older than me. I never thought it would be like that when I was young.
     
  8. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    It's hard to read stuff like this... (all of these posts) But it might be a good disillusion. Is it common for people to have sex not only before they're married, but before they're even 18? [​IMG]
     
  9. Do you need to be so graphic?
     
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  10. Jgreenmo

    Jgreenmo New Fapstronaut

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    Don’t worry about you and your notches worry about her and she’ll come back to take care of you. So what I’m trying to say is if your shit ain’t working you better dive down there face first... and don’t worry been there before really she just probably feels insecure like she probably thinks you think she’s ugly make sure she knows it’s not the case
     
  11. aerokus

    aerokus Fapstronaut

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    First you blamed fapping for your problems. So you 'stopped' except you didn't since you fapped '20 times' over 10 months (which sounds like an understatement). So you didn't really complete a reboot. And then you went on to blame not fapping for your problems. You need to start taking responsibility for your own actions.

    If you weren't addicted in the first place, you didn't need to try NoFap. Some may disagree with me, but NoFap is really only for people who have a serious addiction to porn and/or masturbation and/or a porn induced dysfunction. If you have a 'healthy' usage of porn and don't have issues stopping (the same way many people can drink normally, but some are alcoholics), then NoFap isn't going to change your life much at all.

    Anyway, now that I've explained that, here are the two most likely causes.

    1. Performance Anxiety: You were too nervous to get it up. Solution? That was your first time. Shit happens. It'll get better over time. Telling your partner about it might help because otherwise the pressure just gets worse. Take it slow.\

    2. Flatline: Lots of people who are doing NoFap to cure PIED experience a flatline some time after 30-40 days of not fapping. A flatline is when you don't get any erections, and your sex drive is totally gone. As I said, this only really happens to people who already had PIED. I highly doubt that this is what you experienced, as I don't believe you had a streak that long given your number of faps, and also fapping again brings you back to normal. Solution? 90 day reboot.

    Given that you haven't replied to your own thread, I'm not sure why I typed all this out, but I hope it helps you or anyone else reading.
     
  12. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered other factors other than nofap? Perhaps you have chemical depression.
     
  13. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    some hard truth here

    It sounds like all nofap did was made you aware. But also you didnt stick to nofap , its like blaming a diet/ training regiment and u didnt follow it closely. I am just being honest. I feel for u but ur rationalizations on nofap are self inflicted which u wont want to hear but it looks to be the case.

    Accept the responsibility. Take ownership. Then you can actually deal with ur problem. If you deflect and rationalize you don't absolve urself and u dont hurt nofap. U just end up having to carry this weight and not know what to do with it.

    Whats probably happening ...

    That being said, its like the other person said. It is VERY likely you were just nervous and over-excited. Even pre-nofap or post nofap it can happen to u. Its never happened to me on a nofap streak.
    About 2 years ago with my ex gf ... i had that and it was weird cuz i would feel it before/ after. I had another girl that happened to me with as well she was super out of my league. Tall , busty, amazing ass and man at first it was like ... WTF MAN NOW U DONT WORK LOL. But also mb my dick was warning me cuz she ended up cheating on me and then stalking me when i broke up with her lol. Real talk, sometimes ur dick is listening to a deep psycho physiological red flag and u might be too dumb to see. Like this guy i told him on reddit his story sounded like an easy way to get an std , sure enough he comes back a few weeks later was like -_- I got an std. Isnt that funny. Anyway ur 16 its just likely u were over stimulated.

    In my experience, it only happened early in the relationship. It seemed for me a consequence of not knowing em well and being over excited or not being present. Also when ur young and it happens u stress out about it and stress kills ur erections. The last thing u want buddy is to REACT THE WAY U ARE ACTING NOW. This stress response burns in ur brain and can create imbalances like well like that guy said u can get a chemical depression or a bad chemical stress response to moments like this. And that wont be nofaps fault. That would be im young and im overreacting and doing this to myself fault. I need to calm down, listen, stick to nofap, regulate my emotions and remember there will always be more girls.

    All these things I am saying because I have been there or met others with a similar story to yours. 80% of the time they come back thanking us and admitting that they needed to chill and just do nofap properly.
     
  14. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    ... or... just... don't have sex before you're married to someone?... That seems much safer and much easier to me.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  15. Fishkeeper

    Fishkeeper Fapstronaut

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    That's like buying a house without entering before to evaluate. Easy yes, good idea? No.
     
  16. I think this depends on your personal view of a relationship. I personally see a relationship as a mixture of friendship, support and sexuality. Thus I'd say that a relationship could be determined to fail when one doesn't find out whether it works on a sexual basis or not.
     
  17. Miller89

    Miller89 New Fapstronaut

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    This was definitely down to nervousness rather than nofap trust me. It’s very common within the first few real sexual experiences, that or either you cum after 5 pumps have a few beers that will chill your nerves but don’t get to drunk you don’t want drinkers droop
     

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