NoFap made me very unproductive. You?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Feb 18, 2018.

Does NoFap make you unproductive?

  1. Yes

    12 vote(s)
    33.3%
  2. No

    24 vote(s)
    66.7%
  1. Last year I gave NoFap a serious try. I'm done with NoFap for now and I'm not inclined to go back to NoFap anytime soon. What brings me here today is pure curiosity. I'm very fascinated by the human mind and body and I'd love to understand your thought process around NoFap and why it didn't work at all for me.

    Regarding Porn
    First of all, I'd like to say that am a firm believer in abstaining from porn. It messes with your mind and objectifies women. I got desensitized to the point where I couldn't get it up during intercourse. That's when I realized something was wrong and that's how I found NoFap. That problem is now taken care of I'm back to normal, porn free, so that's all good. But what fascinates me is why people still abstain from masturbating, even if it's done without porn.

    NoFap
    During my NoFap streak of 3 months last year, and giving it a shot for 6 months, this is what happened:

    Pros:
    • The orgasms felt amazing once you broke your streak!
    Cons:
    • I couldn't think of anything but sex
    • Whenever I met a woman I saw nothing but a living and breathing sex toy, and I felt ashamed of myself for having such thoughts
    • I became EXTREMELY unproductive (in retrospect, I'm glad I tried NoFap, but I also regret the time I lost doing what I should've been doing during that time)
    • Became very unfocused
    • Suffered a lot from Blue Balls (I was told it was going to go away but after three months of blue balls on and off, I realized that's not going to happen. I tried a variety of things to get rid of it, including high-intensity workouts, cold showers etc. but those things only gave a temporary relief)
    • Got frustrated a lot
    • I developed premature ejaculation (Once I had sex I could only last for about 30 seconds)
    You can see why this wasn't something for me. Abstaining from porn, absolutely. But abstaining from masturbation turned my life upside down for the worse. Looking around online, I find I'm not the only one who discovered these negative effects of abstaining from masturbation. Here's Brandon Carter talking about his experience with NoFap which is very similar to mine.

    ProFap

    Pros:
    • Higher productivity
    • Laser sharp focus
    • More relaxed with women
    • Less dirty thoughts about the women I meet and more deep and meaningful relationships
    • No blue balls
    • No premature ejaculation once I have sex
    • More spiritual connection to life and other human beings
    • More time and energy to pursue more meaningful things in life (instead of thinking how to get laid, how to get girls and what to do to get people to like you)
    Cons:
    • Sometimes, but not very often, I get Post-ejaculation sadness (due to the release of prolactin during ejaculation, not orgasm. If I get it, it tends to last around 5-10 minutes, then I'm back to normal)

    The Bottom Line
    When I abstained from sex, everything started revolving around sex, but once I embraced the fact that I'm a sexual being with sexual needs and desires, the feeling that life revolved around sex disappeared and life became so much more than just sex and porn. Now that I have embraced this fact, I feel like Tim Robbins at the end of The Shawshank Redemption: Free! I work hard on my dream with a laser-sharp focus; I ponder the vastness of our cosmos, and when I get horny I masturbate and have an amazing orgasm, then back to work;)

    What're your thoughts on this? Love to hear them!
     
  2. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    First of all, NoFap is not abstaining from sex, it's abstaining from fapping thus the name - there are people rebooting while in a relationship, though that has other issues like when the PA is more interested in P than their partner. However there is a context and it isn't an act isolated from other people.

    My short answer is no for one simple factor: Edging. I used to edge for like maybe 4-5 hours easily, mostly from chat rooms. In terms of productivity that clearly screws things up not only in terms of the amount of time but also because it will always be late in the night which screws up my sleep. If I spent time watching shows, surfing non-P stuff and spending time on the forum not only is it hard to spend as much time but even if I do it doesn't cut into late hours like that. I also don't have to explain how edging itself is also really bad to anyone who has read up about it.

    I also have to add that I think the whole pro/con list making thing doesn't help you understand how it all works at all, all it says is what you consider to be positive benefits and negative effects. When people make the lists it mixes apples and oranges in the same list, for any given reason there's no comprehensive understanding of where it fits into the scheme of things. If you're fixing a broken computer you don't make a list of pros and cons of the issue, you have to do it from a functional understanding of where something went wrong. It would be absolutely ridiculous to make such a list as a technician, and you would probably never be able to fix it. The computer doesn't care if you have a whole list of pros, if it doesn't work it just doesn't work - it is designed to work in a certain way and you have to do specific things to fix it.

    There are a few possibilities with pros and cons:

    1. It's not caused or not directly caused by fapping
    2. Fapping is a contributing factor and not the sole cause
    3. The cause is your thinking about it, and not the act itself, (one way or the other)
    BTW the implication of #3 is it can be real or not, typical positive thinking is an obvious example. Someone can think positively and feel like they are getting somewhere, whether they are or not is another story though they are feeling positive regardless. The problem with this is it promotes ignorance, in the sense that you shouldn't question what's positive even if it's a very simplistic philosophy. The entire thing is based on feeling better rather than understanding. An example of the negative would be PM vs M without P but M tends to involve thoughts learned from P. Your mind makes something sexually stimulating in the first place, you have to believe the things portrayed in P (or a fantasy in your own mind) has any reality for it to turn you on.

    Also if something works it still involves a specific context. It's not hard to imagine someone M to help them sleep, every so often people say they have an issue with that when they try to reboot. So the simple view is not fapping messed up their sleep and that's a negative in their mind, but why is someone dependent on fapping to sleep in the first place? Say this guy gets a room mate with the same schedule, all of the sudden that's an issue because privacy is an issue.

    I will say I don't think it can work if you don't work on yourself in other ways in a lot of cases, in some situations someone HAS to do other stuff or it won't work. If someone is only interested in working on themselves to a certain extent and they are fine with relying on either P or M for sleep or otherwise get through life anyway then in their life context it probably looks like "it doesn't work" or it has a lot of drawbacks. In that case it is true that it won't work given the conditions and limitations you have in that context, but it's not an unqualified measure of the reboot process in itself.
     
  3. I agree. When you are deprived of sexual release, it becomes a fixation around which your life resolves. I generally recommend to anyone who is starting NoFap to go back to a weekly porn-free masturbation routine after 30 days of hard mode for your mental and physical health. Sex with a partner is always a plus. Because we are not here to deny our sexuality, but to normalize it to a manageable and healthy level.
     
  4. Thank you for clearing things up! My mission wasn't to come here and hate on NoFap, but simply to understand. Regarding sex and masturbation, for me, it depends on how you look at it. Personally, I consider masturbation sex with myself. I'm not one of those who use masturbation as a "tool" to fall asleep or whatever reason they might use it for. I simply masturbate when I get horny :) Sometimes days can go by, even weeks without me thinking about masturbating, other times I might do it several days a week, but it's always driven by my urges. Sometimes I do a quickie, sometimes if I feel I can afford a 2-hour spiritual deep breathing super-orgasm session, I'll do that, but it's never a tool.

    After reading your post, I think the essential difference between someone like me and someone who advocates NoFap is one's relationship to masturbation. I control it, not the other way around, but I understand now that's not the case for everybody, hence NoFap makes sense in that perspective.

    That sounds reasonable :)
     
  5. steveo2312

    steveo2312 Fapstronaut

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    I can only speak for myself, im new here and after absorbing much information and taking my own situation into consideration which is vigarous masturbation over porn for nearly 20 years i think i really need a long period to totally abstain for 30 or even 90 days. Ive got death grip and all sorts going on. I then may try to introduce a weekly masturbation session to no porn because although an abundance of women available during the rewiring phase would be great its not always realistic for most of us.
     
  6. When reintegrating masturbation into your routine, make sure you do something different. It could be simply a different position (standing vs lying down), different hand, lighter touch, slower pace, touching your whole body, thrusting your hips instead of hand motion etc. Depending on your goals (I'm assuming is real sex), trying to simulate what happens during sex is always a good idea :) It might take some getting used to at first though... This worked for me in the past, and it's advice from an article online by a sex therapist.
     
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  7. steveo2312

    steveo2312 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks very much, advice appreciated.
     
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  8. Is a fleshlight a good idea for example? :) What about something completely different like prostate play?
     
  9. Yes I think fleshlight would be far superior to hands, because of the lubricant you use and the lack of harsh friction/death grip. Also it does mimic the real thing to an extent. I would recommend moving your hips while holding the fleshlight.

    For prostate play, this is entirely up to you to experiment, but I would hold on to that thought till the reboot is complete. I wouldn't recommend doing it during reboot as we are trying to go back to basics first.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2018
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  10. Noelle

    Noelle Fapstronaut

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    NoFap brought me closer to the things that actually matter in life such as work and family. As I got my priorities in order I've visited the site less and less. It's still a big part of my life but I do other things now.
     
  11. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    You are probably in a difficult flatline, hang in there. I'm in a flatline and feeling fatigue, unable to do things. It's hard but you have to think about the long-term goal.
     
  12. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    worst advice i've ever heard
     
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  13. I remember when I could only start my day if I pmo. Some days I stayed the whole day in bed pmoing, others I pmo'ed to get sleep. Most of these days I was drained and with low energy. I believe NoFap is helping me in ways I could never imagine.
     
  14. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    [​IMG]
     
  15. steveo2312

    steveo2312 Fapstronaut

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    Its hard not to replay porn in your mind if you masturbate without it.
     
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  16. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    totally agree
     
  17. Noelle

    Noelle Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guy!
     
  18. IChooseToLive

    IChooseToLive Fapstronaut

    how old are you?
     
  19. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    I disagree that people “need” to masturbate. That energy should be channeled into real sexual experience with a person, not a plastic toy or your fist/fingers. Masturbation is like eating at McDonalds. Better to just go hungry for a few hours until you can find real food to eat.
     

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