Hi all I have been struggling with a gay / crossdresser / feminization fantasy over 5 years now. I always had occassional gay and submissive fantasies in my early teens but never acted on them; this escalated when I discovered feminization ('sissy'), I realised I could hit my gay and submissive fantasies all in one and everything just clicked. This lead me into cycles of guilt and temptation, meeting men online but being too afraid to meet them. Buying some feminine clothes to wear, but then throwing them away before I could properly use them. The only thing that would help my problem, is, ironally fapping. When I orgasm I get a short period of relief where I am not constantly fantasising about dressing up, being dominated by a guy etc. Whenever I try nofap, my urges build to a point where they become totally uncontrollable and that's when I nearly give in by engaging in dangerous activity (dressing, chatting with local men online, etc). Does anyone have any advice for me? I really, really, really want to get rid of my gay, submissive, feminine fantasies, but when I try nofap the urges multiply and it's exhausting!