nofap mixed messages

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Awolnation28, Mar 26, 2017.

  1. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    i've noticed a contradiction with this site and i'm wondering which is the right answer.

    i hear that soft mode. or having sex with a partner will make your progress take longer .

    but i also hear the exact opposite. that being intimate with a woman will help you rewire. especially later on in the reboot .

    well i'm 6 months in and i haver a few woman that want to be intimate with me.

    am i good to go?

    i want to choose the path that will lead to quickest recovery.
     
  2. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    You have 6months Hard mode with no MO or sex with a partner!? Thats amazing! Congrats!

    Now, the point is not to now go have porno type sex with a person and use them for sex just to get off. That is porn thinking mind. Its about having a true heart connection and make love with some one you truley like and have a heart connection with. Its about healthy dating. Its about getting to know someone for who they truly are and letting them know who you truly are. So they are connected to you and not some false projection you put out to manipulate and attract girls. And if you meet a girl and go on a few dates and decide you dont really like her. To then Not have sex with her and end it. Even if she wants to have sex and just use you as a human dildo. Turn her down and walk away. This is being a true man. True recovery and a true reboot is about rewiring you brain from using sex and peopel as a drug to escape life. If you are just using a women for sex and dont even care about her as a person, how can that be a true reboot?
    So learn healthy dating. Go on a day time lunch, coffee dates and actully talk to the person and find out who they are. Find out their family history. If they hate their dad or where beaten by their parents, most likely it will be just trouble. Make a list of what you want in a partner. What positive attributes of the type of person you would want to introduce to your friends and parents. A simple rule, if you are too embaressed to be seen with her, then dont be with her .
     
  3. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    wow thanks man. one of the best replies i've gotten.

    i think that says it all....

    my questions have been answered. your the man.
     
  4. I think the intimate sex people are talking about is between two people who actually love each other. Not casual fuck buddy no strings attached encounters which are essentially just like porn style sex.
     
  5. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    unfortunetly or fortunately??? life isn't black and white like that dude,

    like i'm either in love or i'm in no strings attached, one night stand with no emotion.

    pretty sure you there's a scale here.

    and what is "being in love" anyway,

    how does one know if there in love? O I KNOW THE ANSWER. You don't know!!! no one knows if there in love.

    you cant quantify love and say yes i am or no i'm not in love.

    so your answer doesn't really sit well with me.

    just typical nofap answer.

    gotta wait till your in love maaaan.

    I don't know bout any of that.
     
  6. You're in love when you cherish and appreciate the irreplaceable nature of the other persons personality/personhood. When two people have this type of connection then they are making love when they have sex. If they don't have this connection then they're simply just fucking each other, just like porn stars, since porn is devoid of personality, hence why porn is devoid of love and why it kills love.

    Your no strings attached sex is an abuse of an act which is suppose to attach two individuals.

    It's sad that you're 27 yrs old and still don't understand this. Maybe all of your causal fucking has resulted in your inability to distinguish between what's love and what isn't love? Something to think about.
     
  7. Fiftyish

    Fiftyish Fapstronaut

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    In my humble opinion... Sure, a true reboot/rewiring would be like the one described in the first reply... However, your no PMO achievement is amazing in itself. And you're right, life/love is not that black and white.

    I'm not one to judge anyone for fetishes or 'weird' sex (not saying you have that). I think sex with another consenting human being is miles ahead of PMO. Sure, it's not the healthiest to use them as a human MO machine... But sex also needs to be fun, exciting, and satisfying...

    I'm not going to date rape anyone or fool someone into having sex with me... But I do plan an getting my 'rocks off' with my partner. Hopefully, she will too.
     
    Awolnation28 likes this.

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