NoFap - One Way Ticket?

Hello everyone.
I've been on the nofap quest for a while now, started it to get the supposed benefits such as enhanced energy, better confidence, etc. Thing is, now, every time I MO I immediately think of it as a relapse. I get bummed out feeling guilty and my motivation to do anything besides lying in bed evaporates. I don't remember feeling so crappy after MOing since I started nofap, it's like my body completely lost its conditioning for ejaculating, like it was an exercise I stopped practicing. Is this the case? Or am I now much more sensible to what an orgasm does to me and can actually feel what this act of self-satisfaction was doing to my body? Damn I feel tired - and to be true, abstaining never gave me that much energy. Maybe I'm addicted to nofap now and should start reconsidering it, lol. Whatever it is, things have never been the same since I got to know nofap.
What are your thoughts on this?
Much appreciated.