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NoFap with overview is way easier

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Stichting, May 15, 2021.

  1. Stichting

    Stichting Fapstronaut

    Now more something about my take on the underlying causes of the struggling with abstaining, after mostly talking about what to do at the moment a struggle takes place.

    A no-PMO journey with recurring struggles can be chaotic and unclear when it comes to the factors that lead to a relapse and how it could have been prevented, but you can turn that into the opposite.

    It makes a lot of difference when you have an overview of the acquired important factors that lead to the stagnation of a nofap streak. It isn't difficult, it is simply thinking about what it is that is different from other successful times. And in case you haven't yet had a decent period of abstaining, or don't remember what was different, you can still simply think about the moment before it went wrong, and it is easy to go through that and acquire the factors that are likely to have played a role.

    You might have had, or otherwise heard enough examples, times where a streak of 30 days or more was possible, while at this moment you have ongoing relapses after 1 or 2 days. And it seemed as if you had no control over it to not relapse, causing much frustration from not understanding how the control could suddenly be so low, amplified by the fact that other times you could do long streaks with ease.

    The urges can be strong or absent on both short and very long periods of abstaining, it isn't directly linked. The same goes for how much control you have. Although it makes sense to believe that the probability of experiencing little control goes up as the duration of abstaining goes up.

    So when you have a strong urge, it is still possible to have much control over it, and the other way around as well. In the first case as I have experienced, it literally feels like only a physical feeling down there, and that it is some process going on that is managing itself, and separated from other thoughts and actions. As if it's some visibly separated source of energy that I can feel with my hands and disconnected from anything else.

    And in the second and unfortunate case, it is as if the feeling directly interacts with my mind, pushing you to do actions related to relapsing. And while it seems like you just can't go against it.

    So this is where some difference must be that is responsible for the lack of control, which you didn't have at other times. It can be all sorts of different factors, internal or external. Internal examples: Physical/mental health condition, sleep habits, bad posture that can create pressure in the genital area, having to go to the toilet, having taken altering substances. External examples: Temperature too high, not converting the energy into other activities because of no more motivation, or temporal unavailability.
  2. User---

    User--- Fapstronaut

    Very helpful
    Stichting likes this.
  3. Bromance

    Bromance Fapstronaut

    Getting good at meditation is extremely useful in order to acquire the ability to simply observe the urges as they come and go without acting on them. On top of already being useful for many other reasons.
    PrioritySystem and Stichting like this.
  4. PrioritySystem

    PrioritySystem Fapstronaut

    Be the non-judging observer, observing your own thoughts and feelings. That way, you won’t get dragged along by your feelings and thoughts. You won’t identify with them.

    This is a key factor to succeeding with abstinence, I have been realising more and more lately.
    Stichting and The Pennsylvanian like this.

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