NOPMO Day 73 - Benefits & Experience

Today is day 73 of NOPMO and I feel very nutral about that. No happy nor sad. Just it is what it is. I have had a very different experience from the first 60 days of overcoming this. You may notice that in my status posts.

What did I experience?
At day 65 a girl-friend of mine saw a reocurring pattern in my personal growth exercises. This lead me to digging deeper into myself. And discovered something that wasn't healed yet. That same day I cried like a baby and the next day I felt really sad.

It was like all the repressed emotions came out. I did feel relieved though that they were out of my system.

The following days after that I felt a very intense urge to fap and watch porn. I also got sick for 2 days and wanted to fap sooooo desperately.

But I knew that fapping would be an escape of my healing. An escape of learning to deal with my emotions. The short term this is much easier than working on yourself.

I knew that the only progressive way was sitting through the urges and emotions. So for about 3 days I felt really intense cravings. I didn't resist them, I didn't figth them, I didn't ran away. I just sat with the feelings and let them pass.

I'm happy to say that survived that extremely hard moment. By doing absolutely nothing about the situation.

For the last 3 days it has been pretty easy. I'm trying to as little as possible to become at ease with doing nothing and it has been pretty peaceful and satisfying.

What I also epxerienced were these intense feelings of completeness and hapiness. This is not because of nofap but because of being very present.

What were my benefits?

The first thing that I notice and it is the same as the previous time that I got to this amount of days, is that I start to remember more from my childhood. I'm much more able to go back to those early moments in my life. Don't know if this is because of nofap but I experience it every time at around day 70.

The second benefit is more intense emotions. This you can see as good and bad. The first days were very very hard and intense sad / unhappy feelings. But not numbing those also made me able to feel the good feelings. Which lead to some very intense present feelings.

The third benefit is that I'm able to heal myself and dig inside myself instead of numbing myself and running away.

End

This is it for now, I will make another report at day 90. Then I will make a video to give more information.

Keep up the good work! And of you have any questions feel free to ask them. PEACE!

 

True - Clarity of mind.