not a person to talk with, not a friend to have luch with

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. so lonely, there is no words for it, I see I am alone, sure people pass me by, may say hi, but that is no relationship, a lot of people like me, so I thought, do they really? maybe not, maybe I am a terrible person, that's why I am all alone.
     
    zero01 likes this.
  2. Ray Breslin

    Ray Breslin Guest

    Hey bud.
    I am sorry and can certainly relate to how you feel. Do you have any reasons you can think of ,which are behind this?
     
  3. Before I a say this, I am not blaming my good parents, I still live at home, no right minded women will see me at my age, still living at home. I got used all my life and not a women friend in the world. plus I have to live as I were still 8 years old and trying to gget my business going smoothly.
     
  4. Ray Breslin

    Ray Breslin Guest

    How old are you? Do you know where i come from children live with their parents all their lives, especially the guys.
    It's all in the head buddy. You can't think a women won't like you just because of this. It's a small part of your life and doesn't define who you are.

    What do you mean by "I have to live as I were still 8 years old and trying to gget my business going smoothly"?
     
  5. wally_s

    wally_s Fapstronaut

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    Hey yukon, thanks for checking in and sharing. Sorry you're feeling down. I strongly suggest you focus on putting together some days, build up your counter with some honest time and you will very likely begin to feel better about yourself. We are changing, that's why we're here. When we change, things around us change too. Glad you're here. Keep the faith, my friend! Things do get better.
     
  6. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    I suppose it can happen in reverse, even. You might pass some person, say hello even, but that is no relationship. That person may think a lot of people are like him, so he thought. Maybe he now feels he's a terrible person, and that's why he's all alone.

    Maybe we need to come to terms with ourselves first. Our self worth and value are not based on what anyone else may think or say - negative or positive, even. Only what God thinks matters, if your belief goes there. We must learn to love ourselves so that we have a basis of being able to love others - and not just needing others to love us (a codependent kind of relationship that wouldn't suit us even if we found it). As a classical Mystic once said: "Where there is no love, put love, and thereby draw out love." Try it sometime and see what happens. Reach out to another solely for that person's sake. See what it brings to your own life. Life can be a marvelous experience and experiment - we just need to dare to step outside of ourselves and away from self-pity (which is all fodder for PMO, actually).

    Best wishes, guy!
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2015
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Ray Breslin

    Ray Breslin Guest



    Last time i was feeling down, i saw this video.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. I am 38 r or it could be 39, I know its in my head, and talking about it will get it out of my head! I am hoping.
     
  9. yep I like it, I will work on some honest time with my self, I know what you mean, I think you mean, be true to who I am? I used to always change for people, fhnage my identity, that was one problem about me.
     
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  10. wally_s

    wally_s Fapstronaut

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    Yes, absolutely, be true to who you are, but also and maybe especially, be true to who you want to be, the vision you hold for yourself further down the path of recovery. We are committed to changing when we come here. We are recovering and we need to ask ourselves what it is we hope for, from ourselves? And then it takes a tremendous amount of honesty, with ourselves and the world around us, to become that recovered self we long to be.
     
  11. got it!!
     
  12. Philip1990

    Philip1990 Fapstronaut

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    i can tell you what i did as a last effort to break this loneliness. I was 1year self improvement mode and i was strictly against drinking because my ex is an alcoholic so i never went out.
    I got friends when i started to hit pubs play pool and drink beers when i got my friends and get to know some girls. Also people say dont get facebook. Facebook is perfect to stay in touch with REAL friends and girls. Loneliness is the worst thing there is. and its important to have some friends and know some girls. Also Familiy is quite important and im now in good touch with my sister. I was never in a good relationship with her. Now i always go buying groceries with her and she grabs my arm n stuff , i never expected that to happen. I hope i could help you with this.
     
  13. I need all the help I can get. I used to have girl friends, up to about 5 years ago, they were mostly in there 20's, now that I am almost 40 its hard to relate to women in there 30's they have had more experience then I have already. but then maybe not. that's good that you got closer to your sister. it gives me hope, that maybe I can still find someone.
     
  14. I am just wondering why I am 38 and never been in a relationship, maybe I really am self centered, and just think to my self, what a wonderful giving person I am.
     
  15. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    Have you dated much in the past? What is your occupation? What are your interests outside of work - what do you like to do in your spare time (Besides PMO, right)? Do you meet anyone at church? Can you identify any possible reason why you might not be hooking up with a partner?
     
  16. I have been on a date 1 or 2 times in my life, I am starting my own business, I am a very hard worker, I like flying kites, movies, eating out, relaxing, I have not been going to church too much at the moment. I am 38 now I have never dated for several years, I would not know how to communicate with a women about 33 years old. I will think more about your questions though.
     
  17. my parents have always treating me like a dunce, for example when I got my drivers license she said she was surprised that I pasted the test, as if I were to dumb to pass it. the other day my dad told me I need to wash my hands and arms when I get home from work. and they treat me like a 5 year old, and then a minute later I am supposed to try and contact a future customer, or talk with a customer in a professional manner.
     
  18. I have never once been able to even go to a church fuction and let my self go in Christian setting.
     
  19. britaxe

    britaxe Fapstronaut

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    I feel less lonely by removing social networking from my phone thus "forcing" myself to actually go and talk to people, say "hi" first, initiate conversations and go out more. I have spend an incredible amount of time in my own company. I believe one has to take the first step in most things in life. It isn't handed on a plate. I now hang out at a new bar several times a week and i've been welcomed warmly from the first day i went there. It's a very hard situation and i have a long way to go but just getting out there from the comfort zone feels good and makes you crave for more real human contact.
     
  20. brit axe, I have tried that it just never worked for me, maybe I will have to give it a second try! I am glad your welcomed there, its good to have a place to go to and meet people. your right, I got to work for everything, it will not be handed to me! I got to make it happen.
     
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