not just PMO addiction anymore...

alright... i have always been a guy who has someone to hookup with. i went to some pretty low extremes. stripclubs. craigslist. meetme. or i just had a steady girlfriend. but i have recently been in a relationship with a very unhealthy girl. she has an eating disorder and is a raging... i mean RAGING alcoholic. im in recovery from alcohol myself and have been clean 8 months. we've been hooking up with the girlfriend boyfriend title on and off for 2 years. it has been disgusting and horrible what i would do to get some from her. and i always used the excuse that she needed me to help her with her drinking and eating disorder. well. she is going on her 2nd time in rehab since ive known her tomorow. her 5th time in her lifetime and she is only 25.
i saw her today for the last time hopefully. we went out to a concert friday and she got hammered and left after i dropped her off at home and didnt come home til 4 the next day. who knows where she went or what she did. she tells me she cant remember, but who knows. she was hammered today too even though her mom took all of her money and keys. she walked into the corner store and just stole a mikes harder lemonade and a bottle or svedka. i still waited around her house putting up with all the screaming and yelling and lying that went on in her house just so i could get my one last bang in. thats what was going through my head. i mean i have been arrested and charged with domestic violence against her. and there have been orders of protection. but she is always down to hook up and i do... because i am a raging sex addict. i have no respect for women other than as sex objects.
i have covenant eyes on my comp and phone. my dad has the password and it sends him a list of what sites i go to. luckily, this app keeps me off dating sites, and i dont have a facebook anyway but off of that too. so im cutting it off with her while she is gone. i hope she gets sober and fixes the eating disorder but i have to get out of this and not let the sex pull me back even when she gets out. so im commited to pumping it up to "hard mode" for at least 40 days to restart my brain and hopefully keep the no PMO for life. all i think about is finding my next hookup... i say im looking for a gf but its much more shallow than that. i just need a break. im in domestic violence classes now too. my AA sponsor tells me not to date til i have my year which is 4 months away... we'll see how the 40 days goes...
i wanna hear any thoughts from you guys...