Not new, but ready

Guys, Friends, and All Who May or May Not Care (lol),

I just want to say I joined almost three years ago. I believe it was in December of 2013. I did ok but not perfect. My best run was from February 2013 until June 2013. I went over 100 days, then relapsed. Of course, I felt sorry for myself and sick to my stomach. I won't go into the details of how it happened, but it was pathetic.

Anyway, I was on and off for months and actually forgot about NoFap, but can't explain why. NoFap helped me and I turned my back. I'm sorry for that.

Well, here I am. I've struggled spiritually, mentally, physically and my marriage has suffered. My wife loves me so much and I can tell she does, but I can't seem to reciprocate, and it's my fault because of what porn has done to my mind. I fell empty at times and look towards porn, instead of her. And yet, still have the emptiness and guilt. Well that's going to change.

I gave my heart to Christ a few years ago. I've really struggled with porn about a year after doing so. I believe it is the flesh, prompted by Satan and his demons, to ruin my relationship with Him and my wife/family. I am ready to start my journey today, and not a "streak." Streaks don't last, but determination, faith, and support is a journey. And journeys last.

I am ready to make my Savior, wife, daughters, family, and close friends proud. They may not know it, but they will see a change. I have faith.

God Bless Each of You,

John