not so attracted to this one girl anymore

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by alexOG, Dec 18, 2015.

  1. alexOG

    alexOG New Fapstronaut

    this girl is all sweet and nice, and has a great ass. i masturbated to her every night (along wit porn during the day). but when she sat 2 hang out on the bus with me (hinting she likes me), i wasnt physically attracted to her anymore.. :( is this what happens after Pmo abuse or am i jus being goofy, and im fucked up??
  2. Slylen

    Slylen Fapstronaut

    PMO does nasty things to your brain, libido, and emotional state man. Take some time to learn more about the effects and see if they line up with your experiences. I can say one thing with complete certainty though... you will feel better, and have better chances with the ladies, if you stop. Best of luck.

    Take a look at @NoBrainers thread if your really serious about starting over!

    Stay Strong,


    In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.

    Dalai Lama
    Weeder likes this.
  3. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

    I think its normal. It is socially forbidden to think about sex in public.
  4. Jae

    Jae Fapstronaut

    Happens all the time.

    You sit down and really look at her. Or she approaches you. Notice that she's not this goddess that you had portrayed in your mind. She has flaws. Maybe crooked teeth, or an annoying laugh or just a dull personality. And the pedestal you put her on crumbles. She's human again, and not as interesting.
    NoBrainer likes this.
  5. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Well, I would say that the PMO you have engaged in has changed the way you become attracted to women. Your quote "[I like her because she has] a great ass" shows that you are attracted to her in a solely physical way. Your fap sessions at home only seek to reinforce the physical aspects you find attractive about this girl- fantasising about her body, the things you'd do to her etc. However, having now met her in person, you have an idea of what she's actually like. And clearly you don't feel a connection (or any chemistry). This is indeed what happens after excessive porn abuse- we become attracted to potential partners solely based on physical traits. However, in reality, relationships are predominantly based on connection (non physical traits). You're not fucked up, but I recommend abstaining from the porn and these fantasy fueled fap sessions for a while before trying to hit it off with this girl or any other. Good luck with your nofap journey bro.
    HopeFaith and Slylen like this.
  6. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    Perhaps the whole problem with her is that you are seeking a sex object instead of connection with a real person.
  7. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

    Look, given what's been said here and what you've supplied we can probably come to the conclusion that you're perhaps slightly fixated on a physical relationship. There isn't anything particularly wrong about that or having those feelings, but it can be a volatile thing that may get out of hand if left unchecked.

    I've made mistakes in judging people's intentions before, but I believe that you've jumped the gun a little bit, unless she made it explicitly known or said it meaningfully. You mind may have been fantasising up the connection in order to fufill you personal needs.

    And even if she did (I assume you to both be young and around about the same age) she may not have considered it in the same spectrum as you.

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