Not so new but I'm 30 and back to step 0

Hello guys,
I am in need for some help and prayers. I am Christian, although I am also into meditation; My first big nofap streak was 90 days, back in May 2015, I was 23... Now I am 30, and relapsed (for yet another time) after a couple of months.
My goal is to reach a fap-free life, but still there is a part of me that is taking it lightly; my social life is a wreck, and I've struggled with PMO addiction and depression since my early teens; the long nofap streaks were helpful to make me feel better about myself and find some jobs. However recently this voice that's telling me "Nofap is not the solution; you need to masturbate" has grown and I have unfortunately listened to it, and watched a quite dirty video...
Because of all my relapses I don't know if I will be ever able to reach let's say day 300 or more as some of you. But I'll avoid youtube and dirty thoughts, this I know I can do, because i've done it before and felt sooo much better....
Now I am back to square 0, but having someone online can help me.
I know IT WILL BE WORTH IT. But it will take time to heal my mind... More than a 90 day streak.
I hope I can be a motivation to some younger guys out there. Because if you are depressed this abstinence thing can definitely help you.. I've seen it on myself.