Not sure if i can do this ...i did multi relapse

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Xander_, Feb 28, 2014.

  1. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Ok, few days ago i did a relapse the max i made was probablly 9 days if i remember well ...however it was saturday i didnt had acess to laptop cuz rechanger didnt worked so i was bored and i started to think about porn more and more and more and more ...and suddenly i decided im going to fap ...and so in next 5 days i fapped every single day i could i pretty much drugged myself with dopamine ..however i decided to stop again and now i am on 5 days without pmo ...

    Now i actually can see how this is very serious problem and how it has affect on me ...also the one thing im afraid is withdrawals ...i hate when i have loss of concentration and i just hope my behaviour wont be that much addictive i have feeling like whole world is against me if i decide to stop i cant look at commercials, movies, music videos in 90 percent of those stuff i'll find something sexual about it that sucks ...i really have respect for guys who made trough all this shit and guys who will make it
     
  2. Loren

    Loren Guest

    You can make it. The withdrawl period is tough, but then the light turns on!
     
  3. seuqsiaw

    seuqsiaw Fapstronaut

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    Dude you are over thinking it. We are all humans and we all mess up. Relapsing itself is not important but how you react to it can determine your success. Keep going
     
  4. CheshireCat2323

    CheshireCat2323 Fapstronaut

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    Most guys here have been trying for years to get to 90 days, I'd like to meet a fapstronaut who made the nofap challenge on the first or even second try. Just figure out where you went wrong and correct course. If you were bored and looking for something without triggers, maybe go to the library and rent some science DVDs or take out an old novel. Take a walk, or a cold shower (cold showers are AWESOME for nofap). The idea is when you feel the temptation, you walk away, and every time you do that you rewire yourself. All in all though, remember why it's called the ultimate challenge, and that so many men wouldn't even bother with the fist step.
     
  5. Clive

    Clive Fapstronaut

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    Here's a handy tool that supports OGCheshireCat's thoughts. As he mentioned, "most guys here have been trying for years to get to 90 days," it is probably beneficial for some to look at overall progress versus an on/off streak. Most people won't have immediate success with a cold turkey attempts. However, even amidst relapses you can still demonstrate progress.

    You can do that with this spreadsheet, found at http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14584.msg254730#msg254730

    I personally wish I would have had this a long time ago.
     
  6. AnythingIsPossible

    AnythingIsPossible Fapstronaut

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    You can do it pal, the true strength lies in your ability to pick yourself back up and start again, that's where the changes in mentality happen, it's all part of the journey. You fall, you get back up, you fall, you get back up. And one day you'll get back up and you won't fall again. In the meantime, we're all here to help and support you. Thousands of people enduring the same struggle together, fuck those urges and withdrawal symptoms, there is a purpose to this. You want to be happy and this is the path you need to take :)

    Stay strong bro
     
  7. MoonUser

    MoonUser Fapstronaut

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    It is true. Getting to 90 days is tough. It's not a straight line, so expect some jagged edges along the way. That is OK. I have my share of spikes, but I'm not giving in.
     
  8. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi Xander, sorry about the relapse. The fact that you went 9 days tells me you can go a lot longer. Part of getting educated--and I say this for all our benefit, not just Xander's--is knowing what to expect if we do relapse, which is the binge or chaser effect. That is the desire not just to relapse, but to binge immediately following that. Be aware of that so you can attempt to avoid it. Looks like you learned that by experience.

    Also, Xander--and I had to learn this the hard way--a porn addict does not need actual pornography on the laptop to relapse or to get their dopamine fix. Once we have downloaded that imagery to our own CPU (brain) it is there to be accessed. You need to avoid triggers--things that make you have sexual thoughts. Find some method of distracting yourself when they pop in your brain. It really does not take much. I just think to myself "no no no no" or "stop stop stop stop", just enough to break up that thought from running around in there. I say this to you because in reviewing your posts you seem to be focusing on quitting masturbation and you are relapsing frequently to simply pornographic thoughts. You need to develop a method to get those thoughts out of your head, or at least break them up, so you are not fantasizing about them. If you are fantasizing about porn you are using porn, because you are releasing dopamine. Once your brain gets to love dopamine it does not want to let it go, but for you to overcome this problem you must get your dopamine levels back down.

    Truth is Xander, you are not addicted to porn, you are addicted to dopamine, the best drug in the world. It is released when we have sexual thoughts. Porn and MO are just buttons we push to get a dopamine rush. You need to quit pushing those buttons for a while, at least 30 days I think, then see how you feel. It is important in that time not to indulge hypersexualized thoughts and images, but do your best to avoid them. If you quit PMO or just MO but are still indulging hypersexualized thoughts, you are just torturing yourself for no reason; you have to get your dopamine soaked brain dried out, so to speak, so avoid lingering on thoughts of sex for a while. It is necessary.

    You did ask about withdrawals in one of your posts. We start this journey high on dopamine. We usually are giving it to ourselves by the time we begin to quit at least once a day, day in day out, often for years. That can be by watching porn, thinking of porn, PMOing. When we quit giving ourselves that dopamine high that part of our brain that loves dopamine misses it. It wants it. It almost makes you feel like you need it. You do not need dopamine, at least at those artificially heightened levels, but that part of your brain that loves it does not want to give it up. So, those horrible feelings you have when you quit, those are withdrawals. You will never beat this problem until you move through the withdrawal process, which means getting your dopamine levels back down to normal levels and rewiring back to normal dopamine reward pathways. You have to retrain your brain not to expect a porn fix, but to get dopamine the old fashioned way, though sexual thoughts about real people in the real world, not pixels on a screen.

    I think you need to take some time and get educated about your problem.

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals

    Hit the above link. First video is the Wilson TED talk. Watch it, understand the chemical changes prolonged porn use does to our brains.

    Also, you asked about withdrawals. Here is a great link that explains them from yourbrainonporn.com

    http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

    You cannot look at quitting porn the same as seeing how long you can hold your breath. Air is real, but porn is fake. You can go forever without porn. It has no value, it improves your life in no way. It is not good or necessary to you in any way. So, if porn is like air, you have to quit breathing it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB-JzPBJalA

    Peace.
     
  9. Angriff

    Angriff Fapstronaut

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    No one said it's easy. I promise you it is hard as hell but it is possible. Keep fighting.
     
  10. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for motivational replies
    @William i think you havent missed a single word here you all said right!
     
  11. NateK.

    NateK. Fapstronaut

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    First day of the challenge... I've tried before but since I recently got a girlfriend I really like and would even say love, I need to make a change. What are some immediate benefits? Like first week
     
  12. chase

    chase Fapstronaut

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    the relaps is part of the healling process, don't worry about it, but back on track of nofap fast and you will be okay
     
  13. challenge

    challenge Fapstronaut

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  14. NateK.

    NateK. Fapstronaut

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    Thanks :) I just relapsed... But if anything it just gave me more inspiration to stop this shit. The article you posted really helped me out to, tomorrow is day one of a new me. I know I won't succumb this time
     
  15. halper

    halper New Fapstronaut

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