Not sure if my porn addiction problems cause HOCD later in life or else I'm just gay denying...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by saddist_adult, Sep 16, 2022.

  1. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure if my porn fetishes are an addiction problem or I'm just denying my sexuality... It was good for awhile when i stopped caring about the doubts and compulsion... But right now seeing random things such as a handsome shirtless guy triggered and will give me a gut hit like in the stomach... I felt extremely distressed and anxious...
    Also I'm not sure if it groinal response but it literally give sensation and sometimes fully erect it drives me crazy... Literally feel like I'm about to lose my fucking mind, i couldn't do anything else, i must have stopped my activities... Right now

    I have reached to the point of suicidal thoughts, I'm not sure why am i like this... Porn addiction problems or else I'm just fucking gay all along and didn't know?

    Is this urge of coming out? I'm not really sure it felt like cramps in my brain it just hurts and tightening, is this what gay closet feel like? I don't know what to do, that's not what i suppose to plan my future... I felt really empty and defeat of life...
     
  2. ercappa

    ercappa Fapstronaut

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  3. Mr Anderson

    Mr Anderson Fapstronaut

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    It all depends on what you really enjoy, there's a big difference between real arousal and fake one, sometimes fake one may feel stronger than natural one but won't feel good it'll feel alien, hocd can give erections it can be so strong that it can even create emotions but deep down you can notice fake ones and natural ones, it can get better but you have to abstain from pmo and mo hard mode for some time, three month rule isn't golden rule but it may clear your mind and heart enough for you to notice reality because right now your mind is flooded by neuro toxins dick images dopamine and many other things that can even hiper sexualize your feelings
     
    Supination likes this.
  4. Idf1998

    Idf1998 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, i had Hocd too.
    I watched porn from the age of 12.
    And in my 20-21 birthday I accidentally watched trans porn. And “ i liked it”. But i got Hocd from it. For months i fought why i like it. Am i gay? I tried to test myself, like you did. I went into depression very quickly. But in the end i said enough is enough. I have to fight it in the right way. I told my brother and fahter about all the situation. It helped me a lot their attention and help. They didnt judged me. After that i went to psychological therapy. I started a process of getting out of my hocd. I can tell you my hocd had past. But i still watching trans porn and normal porn. I try to quit porn, i have a Gf and i want to do it for her!
    Yes i still think of trans porn and also a normal one.
    You need to understand that when watching porn , your dopomine levels must get new arusal all the time and becuse of this , you “escalate” to new and taboo/fetish categories.
    I personally got into conclusion that trans women who look so fine and womenly. Are not something gay or that. You attracted to their feminine parts. Hair, face, eyes, breast, but and so on. The penis is somthing taboo for you and therefore you get arousal. Like when you watched lesbian , step mom, step sister and pov for exemple. New catagories new attraction.
    You are not attracted to the mens part, facial hair , hairs everywhere, muscle and so on.
    My recommendation is that. Dont think going to therapy makes you weak!
    It makes you stronger , to know and to act when you know that tou need help is the hardest thing to do. Start to treat yourself! You can try to quit porn but i know that the therapist wii say you need to continue to watch it. You must understand that its not something bad and with time accepting in and when the hocd will be something in the past you can try to quit porn for good.

    I hope i helped you !
     
    saddist_adult likes this.
  5. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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    I suffered from this years ago, look at my profile history.
    It doesn't matter if you turned out to be gay or straight, going through different types of OCD taught me that the doubts, the what ifs, and the overthinking are nothing but time and soul eaters.
    It's hard to tell you not to give these thoughts any attention and work with what you have and what you can change at the current moment when I couldn't do what I would advise you right now to be fully honest.
    The best medicine here is time and a good belief system, don't give up, it takes much time only to get a good mindset, and it's a life journey.
     
  6. lonercub

    lonercub Fapstronaut

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    Never give in to doubt.

    NoFap plus being with the opposite sex is the most healthy thing to do. PERIOD.

    Once your mind creates strong association between love, intimacy, pleasure and the opposite sex, these fears and triggers will diminish.
     
    F. Phoenix likes this.
  7. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    Been seeing this a lot lately brother. Truly do not believe in HOCD. Many people in life suffer from OCD but this “HOCD” is man made. People try and label anything. You watched tons of porn until you desensitized yourself to the point that, the only stuff stimulating was the crazy stuff like trans porn or gay porn or children. This is a common theme with long term usage of pornography accompanied by masturbstion. You’re gay denying or you are just currently lost in addiction, but it does not necessarily mean you are gay. Please stop listening to the “HOCD” stuff, it is not real. It is not a groinal response or whatever else they try and call it. Porn has rewired your brain to like men, now it’s your choice if you want to keep it that way or make a change. Change is still possible for you, good luck.
     
  8. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    It’s because you’re extremely addicted to porn. Ask yourself, what kind did you start with? Was it straight gay men dick in butt or was it vanilla stuff with woman. HOCD is not a real thing, and I can scientifically back that statement up if needed. It is not REAL. You guys have to get away from the porn somehow, get rid of the devices that access the porn if it’s making that much of a change to your sexuality. But listen. You’re feeling so shitty because your brain and soul and spirit know it’s wrong but you’ve rewired parts of your brain to be turned on by men. Leave the damn porn alone, it’s ruining you…it’s going to kill you and in time you’ll be old and alone and fucked up mentally regretting it all. Please let go.
     
  9. Idf1998

    Idf1998 Fapstronaut

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    Its easy to say you dont believe in Hocd. But its real and i had it
    I wish you were right , believe me
    The human brain is mystery ….
     
  10. Dr.J_76ers

    Dr.J_76ers Fapstronaut

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    I remember reading this book about 1800s sailor guy who had an addiction to opiods, and then he got stranded on an island - after that he lost his addiction. Internet porn is an artificial superstimulus, I don't think that's arguable. What you're saying Wolf depends on what we think HOCD stands for - if it means compulsively checking if you're homosexual then why isn't that a real phenomenon? During the early months of COVID, I would obsessively look up Reddit posts where the OP was asking questions like "am I gay because of x" or "does watching trans porn mean I'm attracted to penisies?". All of the comments that polarizingly said something along the lines of "Yes you are gay and should go give a guy a blowjob just to test it" etc, were very intrusive.

    I went on a streak of 250+ days and afterwards, these thoughts are virtually extinct. A better way to put it is when they lose their 'power' to cause you worry, they start becoming less frequent. And a good way, in my opinon, to make them lose their power would be to interact more with people - both guys and girls.
     
  11. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    You answered what I was saying exactly! That’s exactly it. You were compulsively searching up those questions and questioning yourself because the things you were acting out, and your heart and souls true desires were out of alignment. Ask a gay person how they know their gay they won’t be able to tell you. They didn’t choose it, it was just part of them. It’s not something needed to question. The people experiencing this know what they’re doing is wrong for them. It’s supernormal stimulus from por. That creates this. Not any complex form of OCD or anything else besides possible mental trauma from rape or sexual assault
     
  12. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    If you were gay you’d know that you were gay. I’ve never met a gay person who was “confused” about their sexuality and had to compulsively ask questions or try and figure it out. The most they’ve done is come out later in life because they already knew what they had going on, others around them didn’t. Porn is making you believe you have a compulsion for men, or to look at sexual content of men, only because of the new pathways you’ve created in your brain from the supernormal stimulus of porn. You weren’t born with a homosexual compulsion were you? If it developed it is not “HOCD” get rid of the porn, get rid of those thought patterns. I promise it’s possible
     
  13. Idf1998

    Idf1998 Fapstronaut

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    Look its not like i woke up one morning and questioned my sexual preference. It was because of porn.
    I started at the age of 12. I escalated from normal porn to trans porn (age of 20). I needed new “juice” lol. You start from normal than lesbians, step moms, step sisters and so on. You need new dopomine levels. it indeed caused me to daubt my sexual preference, i didnt had and sexual experience and so on. I didnt know why i liked it suddenly and i got afraid. Am i gay ? Its not possible , 20 years i was stright and in a night am i gay?
    it caused me ocd ! If you believe it or not , is your choice . But many suffer from this.
    But just for say
    I dont believe that if you like trans girl mean your gay. If she looks nice like normal women , and you have a connection with her , you attracted to her feminine parts , and the… is something taboo for you. If you attracted to facial hair , muscle and so on , its other story …

    nevertheless everyone has their opinion on the subject and we must respect them all ! Without disrespect their opinion.
     
  14. I_always_try_again

    I_always_try_again Fapstronaut

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    the real gay and hocd have no any similarities and they are are completly different from each other. we may feel they both same but it's not.
     
  15. Idf1998

    Idf1998 Fapstronaut

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    True ! the Hocd like all ocd makes your brain thinks that.
     
  16. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    It’s a bit unfair and hurtful to say you have OCD when some people genuinely struggle from that. You don’t have HOCD just because you flooded your dopamine reward system past the point that the whole system reset and cha fed into something you didn’t hope for. Stop labeling yourself unless your doctor told you you have an actual OCD diagnosis HOCD is fake. You gotta take action and change it brother I heard another story a guy thought he had that and then after retaining a long time it went away. OCD never goes away if you have it
     
    I_always_try_again likes this.
  17. Idf1998

    Idf1998 Fapstronaut

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    Wolf7 , u are ignorant. dont say things on stuff yoy dont know. Firstly (“doctors”) wont say if you had one. You need therapist And psychologist to help you and determine the problem. You know what! Next time i will ask A pilot about it.

    Second:! , ocd do pass!!!! Do you really thing its something for eternity lol, with the right treatment it will pass. Ocd its not bypollar and other very mentally serious.

    This forum is to help pepole , and respond only if you know what you say, dont sAy bullshit things with 0 prove behind them. If you believe in what u say , save it to your self, dont try to help pepole with wrong knowledge, and especially so wrong knowledge.

    pepole ask for help and you give them just the opposite!
    i hope no one listen to your bullshit
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2022
  18. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    You aren’t even speaking in proper sentences…anyway I know very well what I’m talking about. OCD cannot be removed as its a psychological disorder caused by an amalgamation of causes, however it is a permanent thing that can still be treated to lessen severity.

    As most of the population does now actively have a therapist, or psychologist; discussing with your primary care doctor is a great start as they can provide the necessary referrals, advice, and overall generally help guide you to the means of facilitating proper treatment ajd understand your situation better.

    People ask for help but often do not like to face the truth. I’m not sure personally what you are so offended by, but I really do not care. You can’t allow people to cradle mental delusions and hide behind the guise of alleged mental illness when it may not even be a factor, and has no scientific or medical backing to support it.

    Porn changes the brain, that can be quantified and can and has been studied welll throughout the years. It rewired the brain and can temporarily change sexuality for the abuser of it.
     
    I_always_try_again likes this.
  19. Dr.J_76ers

    Dr.J_76ers Fapstronaut

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    If we were to complete a study on compulsive porn watchers that have HOCD versus those that don't I would guess that there would be a positive association in the HOCD group for previous OCD tendencies. I certainly had mild OCD in that I would compulsively turn light switches on and off as kid and that if I didn't make my bed a certain way before going to sleep something bad would happen to my family. As I grew older and become an adult, the OCD did become less severe and expressed itself more in terms of obsessiveness over sexual behaviors (aka what we are calling HOCD).

    If you don't want these "feelings of worry over whether one is homosexual" to be called HOCD, then please propose another succinct name for it.
     
  20. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    That’s definitely insightful, and I think a great name proposal would be called “Severe porn addiction” as we really have 0 cases of anyone without porn addiction that claims they have “HOCD” and they live out a normal sexual life and do not engage in porn usage. I think then people would realize since all humans are different all of our brains will not be effected the same by pornography, but for some they may think they have a mental disorder because of it. When you were a child you didn’t call your constant flicking of the light switches “LOCD” or otherwise commonly known as Light Switch OCD. But somehow your brain formed a pattern between the regular and benign behavior of the light switch and it made that a compulsion for you. The same with the gay porn or just homosexual fantasy in general. You made it a behavior at some point and now your brain has created a compulsion to that stimulus and behavior and it has gotten out of hand. It would be nonsensical to say “I have HOCD, this is just who I am” if you were a child suffering from OCD. It’s obviously the OCD expresses itself in a different behavior pattern. Doesn’t mean you are gay
     

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