Not through yet

[Vendettana]

So, I was very satisfied with my progress. Almost two months no PMO. Last night I almost had a wet dream and this disappointed me. Not because of the fact that I was dreaming about sex, but the fact that:
1. I was not an active part, I was watching my forever favorite actress having sex. She was beautiful and it was arousing.
2. She was having sex with a transwoman. Now there are no scenes with her and transwomen, so I invented it. And when I was totally into PMO, I started watching transwomen and even wanted to date one (but I didn't)

I thought, I was rebooting successfully but I am disappointed that after two months, all my brain (or me) can imagine is to watch someone having sex, not even me having sex, just like in porn. And second, to imagine a Porn induced fetish.

At some point, I think I was close to ejaculation, my subconscious shouted at me to stop, to not break the NoFap principles and the arousal went away. I did not ejaculate (I mean, I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not, as always in dreams).

Yeah, I'm kind of disappointed, I thought I was close to reboot. I wonder if the 90 days will be enough

 

[Astro77]

You shouldn't be disappointed you should be proud of yourself!
This is part of the process, your brain establishing porn from real sex. It's great you stopped yourself from ejaculating as the sperm retention will help improve you.
You can't help your dreams, you're making all the right steps. This will be a difficult phase; you will have to power through but it will stop. The end results will be worth it.
If you don't think 90 days will be enough, do more!

 

[Gratefulforchange]

My friend, I was taught a couple things about dreams I would like to share.
First, I was taught not to be ashamed or feel guilty if I have a wet dream
a. I have no control over my dreams
b. Dreams are often weird and don’t mean what we might think whether sex related or not.
c. Give thanks that I am subconsciously getting stuff out! I am not doing it in real life anymore.
I have had times in my recovery that the dreams were powerful and real. They used to freak me out because I felt like I had a slip. Now, if I wake up I try to give thanks right away that it was a dream.
I hope you shrug this off. You are doing great! You are doing better than you are feeling!