not your usual NoFap story

Just wanted to share my experience and thoughts.

So long story short I am a 23 years old pretty attractive male who had never had problems in flirting or talking to girls, my problem was/is erectile dysfunction. Since the first time I had sex (I was 18) I was really surprised for the length of my performance, about 30 minutes, and the girls I was having sex with were happy. I could/can decide to cum whenever I wanted just by increasing the rythm, this seems amazing you may think but has its negative sides like my penis was never full erected so my pleasure was limited, it is difficult for my partner to make me orgasm and I often just don't cum.
I had multiple partners and nearly every first time in bed together I had/have erectile dysfunction due to the anxiety.

NOFAP (for me)
I started to PMO pretty late at 14 or 15, not too much masturbation but I fast become attracted to unusal porn, starting from bdsm ending in sissy stuff. I discovered two years ago NoFap, and I did some periods of it but really fluctuating. Last year I was worried about some erectile dysfunctions episodes I had (I never had a stable partner) and I met the hottest girl in my life who I was going out with so I wanted to make everything go perfect. I took nofap seriously and when we first had sex I was 30 days without pmo, I penetrated her for few minutes and I had to stop because I was close to orgasm with no condoms, the following day we retried but my dick won't erect. I was really anxious (in my mind mostly) both of the times. Story ended for different reasons, some weeks later I met another girl and we had a relationship for 7 months. The first time we tried to have sex, after two months, I was in NoFap for 25 days I think (some pmo between the two relationships) and I still failed, due to the anxiety.
At that point I was over the worried phase, I was really resigned, and the next days I pmo a lot. After two weeks of pmo we retried and this time everything went ubelievably perfect. From that time the sex was great, and I never had problems even if I had sex multiple times in one day. What happened? I simply wasn't anxious.

My thoughts on pied and porn after my life experience:

Porn overuse weakens the erections (due to dopamine, it's science) BUT for me, what was really really fundamental, was stopping to overthink about it. Overthinking generates anxiety and anxiety is what really kills your experiences. Erectile dysfunction was mostly in my head. Don't focus too much on totally eliminating porn from your life, focus on not abusing it. Focus on generating dopamine in your head looking at your girl in real life, work on what makes you crazy and excited but don't vent it on porn, but meditates and wait for the next time the desire will raise. One pmo once in a while will not hurt anyone because if you do it "correctly" after few hours you will be more excited than before and it's in that moment that you need to concentrate and work on your desire and urge. It's all in the mind.

Some really practical (maybe triggering and nsfw for someone) tips that help you dealing with pied:

-Especially the first times or when you're anxious skip the foreplays, just make sure she is a little wet and put your friend down there inside while you still have the erection. Do foreplays only when you have calmed down and you feel in control.

-If you can't really manage your anxiety talk to her (not about your porn dipendence), try do defuse and just sleep together, relax, it will help a lot and istantly you will have an erection when you don't expect it, especially if you are the big spoon...

-Work on your insecurities and confidence, start lifting weights, it will help way more than you think.

-Do some cardio. Will help with the anxiety and the breathing.

-Don't overthink about you not being able to erect, I know it's difficult but just focus on your primal istincts come out, work on them.

-Stop watching sissy immediately, I know how much that thing is addicting. If you have to fap fap on healthy porn. If you can't get erected it means you need to stay away from it for more time still. DON'T WATCH PORN BECAUSE YOU ARE BORED.

Hope this can help someone, NoFap is just the beginning to self improve with the girls and generally

 

(don't look at my days count, it's obviously wrong)