Hi, So I have always been a person that spread happiness and have a very controlled life. I guess I have been lucky in many ways. I still think I _should_ be happy, but I am not. I even got a small "price" for being a person creating such a happy work place for others (was a joke price, but it was because I did). Things that I have enjoyed are now boring. I try new stuff, I find them boring. I am waking up every morning without motivation. There is nothing that makes me really smile, the last months I have been faking a smile to "fit in" to make people think I enjoy it and are having a good time. I am doing great at school, I have good friends, I got a job, I am going to the gym, I can do what I want most of the time after work and school. Still I am unhappy and not motivated at all. I used to like going to partys, but now I just fake a smile to make people think I enjoy it. I don't know why I suddenly have changed. Ofcours I met a girl this year, that I thougth I would be in relationship by now, but not everything have worked out there, which have not made the situation better. I still don't know how she feels. I thougth it was over with her, but she have started contacting me again. (I do understand that I should first work on myself and become happy alone too, but if she wants and I want, why not - but I don't know yet). But all these problems started before I meet her too. Sometimes I feel like crying if I am in a car alone. I have tried to watch stuff and read stuff on google/youtube that can help me find happiness and get a better view on the world, but it works for a few hours then I am demotivated again. Sometimes I want to cry too when I am alone. I don't really know why. For some time it was because I lost a girl I really liked, (maybe I am weak). But sometimes I just want to cry without reason. I don't cry all the time, but sometimes I just want to cry.... I don't really know what I am searching for by writing this post... I just have to tell..