Now I have Peyronie disease

I’m 57 years old and about 29 months ago I began to trying stop watching porn and masturbating. I became aware of how severely addicted to PMO I was and struggled greatly with stopping. In the beginning I couldn’t stop edging and watching porn; but as the months have passed, I am better able to resist indulging in PMO behaviors. At first, I felt like I couldn’t sleep without PMO. Now that I have greatly reduced my compulsive addiction to PMO, I have become worried that I have severely damaged myself.
Many negative events have transpired over the last 24 months; starting with losing my job and becoming isolated and very inactive. Digestive problems have returned with a vengeance and I have gained 40 lbs and probably lost a lot of muscle mass.
With a dramatic drop of income, I was unable to continue self medicating myself with marijuana and have had trouble sleeping due to actively dreaming.
I’m in the process of applying for SSDI benefits, but now with the realization that I have Peyronie disease and possibly ED, I am beyond depressed.
I have struggled with depression since childhood and over the past 20 years it’s been especially difficult for me. After steadily improving and working for 5 years, I thought I’d finally recovered the life I had lost after losing my job, home, and marriage.
I’m extremely worried and don’t know what to do about this new problem with Peyronie being the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is my life. I have been clinging to the hope that I could rebuild a life worth living again, but now I feel profoundly defeated.
Tomorrow I see my psychologist and report that while I am trying to remain positive, I think my life has gotten much, much worse. I’m also having problems with dry skin, itching, spontaneous rashes, and now open sores appearing on my scrotum. I had gone to a urologist 2 years ago and was told I had an enlarged prostate that he wanted to remove, but without any negative symptoms I was told by my PCP to not go through with it. Next I hope I am able to see a sexual dysfunction doctor who will be able to help. With everything that has happened I’m worried that I will finally give up. I hope that I can continue to fight to overcome my challenges and recover a life worth living again. I’m sorry if I let you down. I am so very sincerely grateful for all the attention and support here.
To all the younger men who are struggling... take your addiction to PMO seriously before it’s too late.
All my love and best wishes to all the friends that have been with me along my journey here on NoFap.
I don’t think I can keep up the daily facade of being positive anymore and will probably take a long break away from here now.
God bless you all. :-(

 

If you ever have the misfortune of having it, you’ll know. I haven’t seen a doctor yet, but I already know.
My penis is now nothing like it once was. It’s a shock and very difficult to realize how much damage my addiction to PMO has caused me.
I am embarrassed, but I’m sharing the bad news so that others may learn from my experience and stop now before it’s too late.
I’m hoping that it’s not too late for me, but it appears I have damaged myself in the worst way by continuing to indulge my addiction to PMO for 40 years.
Please, please heed my advice and do everything you can to stop now.

 

I admit to being a super-extreme PMO addict. My history would surprise most people here, and I don’t think anybody abused themselves with PMO behaviors as bad, frequent, or long as I have. I suppose that I used a particularly vigorous and strong grip... but I don’t want to explain myself here. Just trust me when I tell you I was very abusive to myself over many years: 40 years total with the last 20 being unusually bad. I have journaled records for a couple years and as bad as that time was, I don’t think it captures the worst of it.
I’m not sure why you’re asking me this question, but if it would help you to know exactly the extent of my history then message me privately and I can provide the details.
I’m guessing that I’m in the top 1% of PMO abusers, if not the worst:-(
Anyway, sex never gave me the loving relationship I wanted and desperately needed, so I suppose it’s not a big loss. It is, however, a huge disappointment.
I’m rather surprised that I was able to slough it off so well this morning, but I guess that’s because I really don’t or haven’t had much sex at all over the last 20 years.
Perhaps rebooting for me means ultimately finding a better way to love.
Sex was great while it lasted, but you can say that the pursuit of it ruined my life. I wish I had learned to be more mature about handling my very strong desire for sex better.
I guess I will continue to abstain from PMO and hope that I can reboot and recover. The bright side is that now I’m free of any expectations and just glad that I have been able to stop and see how damaging my PMO/sex addiction was to me, without it costing me my life.
I think that part of my life is finally over and now I’m free to turn the page and find a new way to live and love.
I’ll keep posting about my experience as it changes, but for now I think my fight is over.
I accept that I am a PMO addict and glad that it’s run it’s course.
Good luck to you all! Be wise and don’t do what I did. Learn from my mistakes and stop before it’s too late.

 

Thanks. My disturbing discovery that I have peyronies came to me recently via my spontaneous morning wood occurences.
I really appreciate the information and support you’re providing by sharing your story with me.
I hope I am blessed with a similar spontaneous remission experience too.
I hope that everything works out for me as well.
I suppose it’d be nice to look back and consider this my “scared straight moment”. ;-)

 

Same here:-(

 

Thanks! Reading about how well you handled things and your positive attitude has helped me to better accept this very challenging time.
I’m just wondering if there’s anything other than abstinence that you do that contributed to the spontaneous remission of your symptoms of peyronies?